Matt and I are finally in the same place again! This is really great because now we can have business dinners together. It’s really not great because all we want to do is this:
BUT this also means we’re going to have drunk blog sessions together. Wahoo! Those’ll be some good times.
On an even more exciting note than Matt and I drinking together, my house FINALLY has internet, which means I can now work on the blog again from the comfort of my home. I also helped set the internet up without the help of a technician. I also just cooked myself dinner with actual vegetables in it. See? 21 means more than just alcohol!
Nora’s mom calls to say she’ll be home sooner than expected. Nora’s mom actually seems normal and caring, which you just never can be sure about in Young Adult Fiction. She’s aware of Vee’s surgery, and she says she’s so glad it wasn’t Nora. She never explicitly states that she’s glad it was Vee, but I’m going to go ahead and assume Nora’s mother is aware of how fucking awful Vee is. And like me, perhaps Nora’s mother is a little pleased with this situation.
After talking to Vee, Nora discovers Vee was attacked by a man in a ski mask (with charcoal eyes) not a girl.
Then the girls get down to what really matters: the guy’s physique.
“…I’m thinking the guy had Patch’s build. Tallish. Leanish. Strongish. Sexyish, aside from the attacking part.”
You know, this whole time I was concerned that the attack would break Vee’s spirit, and she just wouldn’t be the same crazy gal we’ve all grown to love. But man, nothing gets her down. She still is on the prowl even when a man is hiding behind a ski mask beating the shit out of her. So strong, this one.
So Vee thinks her attacker might have been Patch, and Nora thinks it might have been Elliot.
Vee thinks the attacker was too tall to be Elliot (but I’m guessing too short to be Jules, the coolest character in this book?)
The girls decide that they need to investigate Patch’s past further. Before Nora leaves Vee, she tries to tell her about the article she found about Elliot being a suspect in a murder investigation. Unfortunately, Vee’s medication kicks in, and the chapter ends. By unfortunately I mean “awesomely enough.”
Notes ‘n’ Quotes
-Okay so the chapter really ends with Nora in the house saying hi to her mom and telling us this: “My mom has dark wavy hair and green eyes. She’s an inch shorter than I am, but we share the same bone structure. She always smells like Love by Ralph Lauren.”
This book has tons of boring descriptive information and awkward product placement just like Fifty Shades!
With Vee out of the hospital (boooo), the girls head to the Borderline to interrogate Patch’s co-workers about him (uggg).
Things get really fucking bizarre when Vee reveals she’s invited Elliot and Jules and that she and Jules have been dating on the sly. I expected more from him. I am so disappointed! Also wasn’t there almost no time between Vee and Jules first meeting and Vee getting put into the hospital? When the fuck was there time for secret dating?
Elliot is being creepy when the girls enter the restaurant, and he tells them that Jules is too sick to make it. “Sick as in it’s coming out both ends,” to be precise.
The shift in Nora and Elliot’s interactions is really jarring. If you think about it, nothing really triggered it. I guess he definitely saw her reading the article if he’s suddenly acting all creepy to her–she keeps saying his eyes are flashing something dark, his smiles aren’t reaching his eyes, and he’s making gross comments about girls–but she still isn’t positive he saw it.
Anyway, Nora starts grilling Elliot, and he says he transferred because “The girls. I heard they were a lot finer around these parts.” Someone please stab him in the nut sack. Please. Vee? Nora? Patch? Someone?
Then they get onto the subject of Jules, and Elliot explains that his parents work with diamonds and are usually in Africa and Australia. The girls doubt the validity of diamonds in Australia, and I simply don’t give enough fucks to do any research on the matter. But it really doesn’t make any fucking sense Jules’ parents reside in Maine, so I’ll give Nora that one.
Nora goes to the bathroom to change…into some sort of disguise.
…I locked the main door and dumped the contents of the 7-Eleven sacks onto the counter. One platinum blond wig, one purple push-up bra, one black tube top, one sequined miniskirt, hot pink fishnet tights, and one pair of size eight and a half sharkskin stiletto heels.
What the balls does this accomplish? I shake my head sadly at you book, so very sadly.
Nora questions the bartender like a total idiot. The only piece of worthwhile information she gets is that supposedly Patch couldn’t get a job there even if he just had a misdemeanor on his record. And that Patch IS working tonight because he took someone’s shift.
In the bathroom, Nora is about to change back into her other clothes when Patch shows up. He quickly figures out what Nora was doing and sees her stupid list of stupid questions. He says he doesn’t have a criminal record, and as for whether or not he has a girlfriend (yup, that was a question on the list), he says he has an ex who is no longer around. Nora asks if the girl is dead, and Patch confirms it by not really saying anything. Omigosh, so broken, so sexy.
Nora goes back to Vee and Elliot, lies about feeling sick, and she and Vee bounce.
Notes ‘n’ Quotes
The hostess’s smile lit up. “You’ve been here before. Can I start you with chips and our newest jalepeno salsa? It’s our hottest yet.”
“I like things hot,’ said Elliot.
Ew. He has to be evil.
Returning home, Nora finds her mom hanging out in the living room and contemplates telling her what’s going on. But this is Young Adult Fiction, so she doesn’t.
Nora’s mom drops the bomb that she’s thinking about selling their house and moving somewhere smaller. But she’s going to give it three more months before she decides. Whew, was really worried there for a second!
Okay, I don’t know why it took me so long to realize this, but Nora’s last name is Grey. LIKE CHRISTIAN GREY! God these two books are just so overlappy.
Nora’s mother leaves to get some work done, and Nora goes upstairs only to find her room torn up and Mr. Ski Mask in there. He leaps out the window rather than do anything sinister. The cops come, and of course Nora’s room is no longer a wreck. They basically think Nora’s wasting their time and leave, and that’s how the chapter ends.
Notes ‘n’ Quotes
“He likes pool,” I offered optimistically.
“A swimmer! Is he as cute as Michael Phelps?”
Who would ever use “he likes pool” to describe a swimmer? Nora’s mom, you win Idiot of this Chapter.
Finally Nora tells Vee about Elliot’s past. But for some reason she chose to discuss this with her in the middle of bio, instead of, you know, during a more appropriate time. I’m not sure I mentioned this before, but even if I did I’ll remind everyone again. A girl named Kjirsten was found hanging from a tree, Elliot was a suspect until the cops found a suicide note in her house. BUT Nora says that there was evidence of a break-in when they discovered the note, so she’s not so sure Elliot is innocent.
Nora has some pretty idiot logic at work, though. She think Elliot transferred because of a guilty conscious, but I think even if he was innocent, transferring to another school would be a viable option because of your tarnished reputation and how other students treat you after something like that.
During this conversation, Nora realizes that the article about Elliot was stolen off her desk. This accomplishes nothing, really, as she could easily find it again.
Coach gets fed up with the jibber jabber and switches Vee and Patch, so Patch is working with Nora again. Good times.
Nora goes to talk to Miss Greene after class. Greene again brings up Nora hanging out with Patch and how she needs to stay away from him. Um, okay. So then Nora leaves, and that’s it.
No quotes for this chapter, but my note is that this book just jumps all over the place. I can’t even with this!