I often like to do homework while watching television, and a few days ago my roommate and I put Two and a Half Men on because Friends was coming on after that. Yes, I do have to justify that show was on my TV screen. Anyway, one of the guys had a dummy for some reason. I wasn’t paying enough attention to understand why there was a dummy at the breakfast table, but it just gives me another reason to lack any desire to watch Two and a Half Men.
False alarm everybody, it’s not the dummy grabbing Kris’ wrist, it’s just Lindy. Lindy is really gleeful in a way only sisters can be over scaring Kris.
R.L. Stine turns the terror up a notch as Kris is preparing to go back to bed.
The dummy’s face was half covered in shadow now. But the eyes glowed as if he were alive. And they stared into hers as if they were trying to tell her something.
Come on, Kris, throw it out the window!
After the girls come home from school, Kris goes upstairs to find Slappy sitting with another dummy, holding hands.
“What’s going on here?” Kris cried aloud.
As opposed to on the inside?
Turns out their dad found this new dummy for cheap at a pawn shop. Oh, Mr. Powell, don’t you know you’ve just invited evil into your home?
And then they name him…Mr. Wood. Seriously, R.L. Stine is having way too much fun with this.
For some reason we get this weird digression where Kris is playing with fake jewelry and talking about how much she loves to touch it. Then her friend Cody shows up so
they can fuck Kris can practice her act on him.
Kris makes some really terrible jokes to Cody, but he keeps it real with her and tells her they’re no good. Kris’ solution? To find good joke books. The combination of joke books and dummies alone is making me want to run screaming from this book.
Cody proves to be the wisest character in the book, calling Kris out on her real reasons for wanting her own dummy–to be better than her sister. I sure hope he’s the love interest!
The next morning, though, there is no wood to be found. Mr. Wood has, in fact, disappeared.
Kris immediately blames Lindy, which isn’t a surprise given Lindy’s penchant for being a total bitch. However, they find Mr. Wood standing in the doorway wearing Kris’ clothes for the day. I had no idea we’d also be encountering gender issues in this book. Maybe there’s more to this story than just terrifying dummies after all! Maybe they are misunderstood dummies.
The chapter ends with Lindy denying any involvement in this. Kris is, understandably, perplexed.
Yay! Cody is back! The twins, Cody, and Lindy’s friend Alice are chilling in the twins’ backyard with the dummies. Alice tells Lindy that everyone at school thinks she’s a weirdo. Rude!
Lindy takes Mr. Wood from Kris so she can show her a few pointers, and then Mr. Wood starts flipping a shit on Kris. He keeps calling her a moron and a stupid jerk. Kris tells Lindy to stop, but he’s doing it on his own.
Yup, these chapters really are only about two pages long.
So now I’m really curious, are both dummies evil? Or just Mr. Wood? Cannot recall.
Lindy peaces out to go perform at that birthday party, but we don’t have to wait very long to find out how it went:
“I did a sing-along with Slappy, and it went over really well. Then Slappy and I did our rap routine. What a hit!”
A rap routine? This sounds hilarious. Why on earth weren’t the lyrics to this rap included??
As the twins talk about their days, we find out that Kris got up to a whole bunch of shit that R.L. Stine left out of the book. Apparently, she went to the mall with her mom, they ran into the school’s music teacher, and she asked Kris and Mr. Wood to be master of ceremonies for the spring concert. What is it with this town lovin’ dummies so dang much?
Later that night, the girls go upstairs to find the dummies in a compromising position. It looks like Mr. Wood is on top of Slappy choking him.
That is actually really disturbing.
I don’t really have a specific question about this post, but I want to know how you guys are doing!