Return of the Butt-Plug: Fifty Shades Freed Chapter 6

It’s been awhile, but I think the cliffhanger was that Christian was taking sex requests, and we don’t yet know what Ana chose. Yup, I just looked, that was it.

Chapter 6

Christian eloquently asks, “Kinky fuckery?”

Now, Thesis Writing!Ariel is coming in here for this next quote:

I nod, feeling my face flame. Why am I embarrassed by this? I have done all manner of kinky fuckery with this man. He’s my husband, damn it! Am I embarrassed because I want this and I’m ashamed to admit it? My subconscious glares at me. Stop overthinking.

I realllly don’t get why Ana is so ashamed that she likes the kinkier side of their relationship. People have gotten pissy with me in the comments before (I’m looking at you, Mandi, wherever you are) because they think I have an issue with the “kink” in these books. Um…it’s Ana who has the problem. Not me.

Ana’s inner goddess is super excited to find they’re going to the playroom! Christian promises Ana a surprise, so he braids her hair and has her turn around to face the wall.

I hear him put my shoes down and, I think, my clothes on the chest, followed by the telltale clatter of his shoes as they drop to the floor, one at a time. Hmm . . . love barefoot Christian.

…Why? Hmm…love Ana’s random details.

So he has Ana on top of a table and tells her she’ll get spanked if she lets go. Better hold on tight, girl. But the she admits she does want to get spanked, so just kidding, let go, girl!

He traces his finger down my back, along the crack between my buttocks, and over my anus, which shrinks at his touch.

Sure, y’all can enjoy your butt-play, whatever, but why do words about shrinking anuses need to appear in this book?

Nope! One step at a time. He’s just gonna use the butt-plug. Ana, eloquent as usual, describes the prep to us:

I hear the quiet spurt of some liquid, presumably from a tube, then his fingers are massaging me there again. Lubricating me . . . there!

I will always love the dramatic delivery of her there! And also how we go from “shrinking anus” to acting like this book is so coy.

After Ana’s super intense orgasm they talk about important things like who cleans the sex toys (Christian and Mrs. Jones his housekeeper, but it used to be his submissives), and the car chase. They take a bath and Ana gets pissy when she finds out they have to meet with this woman who is helping them with the plans to their new house. Apparently this lady sometimes flirts with Christian or looks at him like he’s attractive, I don’t know.

My subconscious gazes up from volume 3 of The Complete Works of Charles Dickens and glowers.

So we’re still being updated on what the subconscious is reading? I guess she has a lot of free time on her hands since nothing really goes on in Ana’s head.

Later that night, Ana hears Christian yelling at one of his body guards, asking where he was…so Ana goes to clean the butt-plug. Makes sense.

Not much of interest happens for awhile except that Ana tells us she’s not going to change her last name at work, and she’s scared it’s going to cause a huge fight with Christian. Oh, really, terrified of making Christian angry. How new. Anyway, Ana ends up looking at pictures of herself and Christian from their honeymoon, and it makes her start to worry all over again about whoever is out to get him. She goes into his study where he’s looking at CCTV footage, and she recognizes the guy on the camera as Jack Hyde. OH MY GOD WHAT A TWIST! Just kidding we already knew this!

 

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0 comments

  1. Bellomy Reply

    I like how at this point there still has been absolutely no variation in any of the the repeating pattern of petty conflicts in this book, an only very minor variations between the conflicts in this book and the variety of petty conflicts in the previous two. The pattern just keeps repeating.

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  2. Tâmara Reply

    I find her “…there!” quite disturbing, but again, it’s Fifty Shades. Oh, if you guys ever want to do YA/supernatural again, you should really consider Firelight. Really. Just… Ugh.

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  3. Irish Skye Reply

    Why is the subconscious STILL reading Dickens? Like Dickens is the ONLY top-shelf author in the history of literature? Ok, I get it, he is (was) freaking British, and ELJ is too busy pimping her own culture in these “stories” to think about making them sound in any way American. But come on, there were TONS of top-shelf English authors in the last 300 to 400 years. Why not some variety? Ana is a (supposedly) defiant woman attracted to a rich, cold fish of a man…does this not SCREAM “Pride and Prejudice?” Austen is the premier English female author, and a female English major college grad who isn’t into Austen just does not fit stereotype or cliche at all (and we know ELJ is all about the stereotypes and cliches). Is ELJ afraid that maybe some of her fans will compare her work to Jane’s? 😛

    :sigh: I have to find some way to amuse my brain while dwelling on the ridiculousness of these books.

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  4. mcferocious Reply

    It occurs to me, at some point midway through this post (shortly after shrinking anuses probably) I quite suddenly and reflexively found myself pronouncing “Ana” as “Ay-nuh”. As in, dramatic ellipsis…

    Ana(l).

    This is it, this is how I die.

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