Christian is a Piece of S**t: Fifty Shades Freed Chapter 7



I just want to say thank you to everyone who left comments about the tough stuff I’ve been going through. You guys are seriously amazing. So as my gift to you, I bring you Fifty Shades Freed chapter seven. Man, that’s sad.

Chapter 7

So when we last left our “heroes,” they were looking at a security tape and tryna figure out who started that pesky fire at Christian’s office (or wherever the fire was, it’s been awhile). Ana’s like, “OMG IT IS JACK HYDE!”

The first line of this chapter is Christian saying, “You think?” And at first I burst out laughing because I thought the book was having this really self-aware moment, but actually Christian is genuinely asking that and shocked.

Ana explains why she’s sure it’s Jack, and Christian actually gets pissy because she studied the details of his physical appearance. Holy God this guy is terrible.

Now, EL James has literally nothing else to write about for the time being given the characters have solved the only “mystery” going on in this book. So to fill time she has Ana decide to go make food for Christian and have a really awkward conversation with Mrs. Jones (the housekeeper) who is also in the kitchen.

“Um—so what does Christian like in a, um . . . sub?” I frown, struck by what I’ve just said. Does Mrs. Jones understand the inference?

“Mrs. Grey, you could put just about anything in a sandwich, and as long as it’s on French bread, he’ll eat it.” We grin at each other.

Is that a weird metaphorical statement about submissives? I really hope it is. Otherwise, why? Why is this happening?

Then Ana worries about figuring out who will do the cooking when. She wants to do the cooking for Christian on the weekends, damn it! Lady, problems, amiright?

Well, since there wasn’t any real drama going on, and we all already know Ana is pregnant, this happens:

“Barefoot and in the kitchen,” he murmurs.

“Shouldn’t that be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen?” I smirk.

He stills, his whole body tensing against me. “Not yet,” he declares, apprehension clear in his voice.

“No! Not yet!”

He relaxes. “On that we can agree, Mrs. Grey.”

“You do want kids though, don’t you?”

“Sure, yes. Eventually. But I’m not ready to share you yet.” He kisses my
neck again.

Oh . . . share?

So when Ana realizes she’s pregnant, she’s going to be scared to tell Christian. But then when he figures it out, he’ll be like, “It’s okay, now I have more people to control and emotionally abuse! Yay!” And then everything will be resolved again in like five minutes. So I guess we’re good, we know the rest of the book?


I also hate the fact that Christian is going to get whiny and jealous over sharing Ana with their child. He’s the worst!

Then, to fill even more time and pages, Christian and Ana talk about plans for their new house. Ana isn’t sure she wants to change a lot about the house! Oh no! Will Christian be mad?

Whew, he’s not mad, y’all! He wants Ana to be happy in the house. God, I was so worried they might fight and get divorced.

The only even vaguely interesting thing is they talk about whether or not they want to have a playroom in the house. Or they could just keep their toys in the closet or drawers like everyone else…so that’s kind of a stupid issue.

In the next scene, Ana and Christian are trying to figure out what they want to do. Without any impending doom and no arguments, their relationship is so boring the book doesn’t even know what to do with them. They can’t even agree to watch television. So of course they revert back to the physical, and Ana asks if they can make out. Christian’s never just made out with someone before! Apparently Ana has? I thought in the first book she said she’d never really even done that.

Christian gets jealous of course. Urg. So he starts doing sexy things to Ana and asking if those guys did them. Boy, they really have nothing else going for them in this relationship other then sex and crazy people trying to break them up.

Apparently, the whole time they had sex The X-Files was on in the background. That’s a really weird detail to have in the book and also a really unsexy show to have on in the background. That show scared me so much when I tried to watch it a few years ago. I’m a wimp.

Ana goes back to work, and she gets an e-mail from Christian asking about why she hasn’t changed her name at work (he figured it out because he tried to e-mail her using his last name to find her or something.) So more fighting later!

Oh you have got to be kidding me. Christian actually shows up at the office and is being a huge asshole to Ana:

“Mr. Grey, how nice to see you.” I smile, far too sweetly.

“Ms. Steele, may I sit down?”

“It’s your company.” I wave at the chair Hannah vacated.

Yeah, we get it, buddy. You’re mad she didn’t take your last name at work. Chill out.

Ana actually kind of sticks up for herself, though.

“Now, Ms. Steele, where were we?”

“You were rudely interrupting my work day to fight with me about my name.”

Damn straight.

“I like to make the odd impromptu visit. It keeps management on their toes, wives in their place. You know.” He shrugs, his mouth set in an arrogant line.

Wives in their place! “I had no idea you could spare the time,” I snap.

His eyes frost. “Why don’t you want to change your name here?” he asks, his voice deathly quiet.

Well this is all certainly going in my thesis in the part where I discuss why this is an abusive, awful relationship.

Basically, Ana explains that she wants to do the career thing on her own, but Christian wants her world to begin and end with him (his words). Then he tells her he’s planning on changing the company name to Grey Publishing, but if she doesn’t want to take his name, should he cal it Steele Publishing. Because he’s giving the company to her as his wedding present. This is disgusting.

Christian gets Ana to give him his way, and she agrees to change her name. But, understandably, she feels really taken aback by everything, so she has to figure out a way to express herself!

I stare blankly at my computer screen, still in shock. How can I make him understand? E-mail!

I love that the revelation is to send an e-mail. Because yes, you should always only express what you’re feeling over an e-mail that never in a million years could be misunderstood.

Ana later tells Christian she’s angry with him because of the way he handled their disagreement and basically just got his way without listening to her. Truth. She tells him she’s not his property or an asset. I wish I believed that. He says this in response:

“Don’t be mad. You’re so precious to me. Like a priceless asset, like a child,” he whispers, a somber reverent expression on his face. His words distract me. Like a child. Precious like a child . . . a child would be precious to him!


Christian says if Ana’s still mad, she can take it out on him in bed later. Can’t wait for that scene.

Anyway, that’s basically it. The chapter ends with the woman (Gia) who is helping them with plans for the house showing up to talk to them. What a long chapter!




  1. Bellomy Reply

    So, essentially this entire chapter was an elaborate excuse to get across two things:

    1) Ana is getting the publishing company
    2) Unbelievably blunt and obvious foreshadowing that Ana is pregnant

    Well alrighty then. I do love how a plot point that was apparently so major it warranted an epilogue in the previous book was resolved in literally like two pages. Oh, the drama!

    • 22aer22 Post authorReply

      Exactly! There is no attempt at all in these books to pace the “plot” at ALL. It boggles the mind.

  2. Chuck Reply

    The rest of this book is nothing but fucking filler. Seriously, fuck this book.

    Glad to know you’re coping well with your own romantic difficulties, Ariel. We’ve all been there. Just remember the infamous words of the Lady Chablis: “Two tears in a bucket. Motherfuckit.”

    • 22aer22 Post authorReply

      Hahaha thank you, Chuck =) It’s always hard to lose someone, but losing them over circumstances is even tougher because ya just can’t hate em!

      At leas I have this book to hate, though. It makes it so easy!

  3. bookbaron Reply

    I cannot even properly articulate how utterly furious this chapter made me. I was often times close to ripping the pages out (or would have if my copy wasn’t digital). I mean, how could anyone find someone like Grey attractive?

    Here’s just a few of my angry status updates on Goodreads:

    “Well, Mrs. Grey, it seems that you are not only decorative, but useful, too.” Christian’s eyes light up with wicked amusement. I know he’s teasing.
    Teasing or not, talking about your wife like she’s a vase is not attractive.”

    Anastasia! I am Anastasia when I am in trouble just like at home with my mother.
    Um. This is so beyond creepy. It shouldn’t be this way with your husband.

    This is going to be such a fight. I can feel it.

    “I want your world to begin and end with me.”

    • bookbaron Reply

      “I want your world to begin and end with me.”

    • bookbaron Reply

      Well never mind that. The picture doesn’t seem to work in comments.

      Anyway, there was one thing I wanted to add. The thing about the email. It seemed like she was talking about the tag name that you type in in order to quick attach their email to your TO: line. In which case, that’s all on Grey’s side of the computer. If he didn’t change her tag name then that’s hardly her fault. And he then just tricked her into talking about her name in the office.

      But I think it’s more likely that EL James doesn’t know how computers work.

    • 22aer22 Post authorReply

      Oh my god AGREE SO HARD! Like him joking around with her like that, okay fine, whatever, I make jokes like that to guys all the time (“oh, you’re more than just a pretty face, that’s nice) yay snark. But the comparing to the mother thing was weeeeird. But not as weird as the times she’s compared him to her DAD. UG EW!

    • matthewjulius Reply

      Agreed. The fact that his entire character is actually BASED on the fact that he’s like this sucks. It’s the “women want to fix broken men” trope at its worst.

  4. Molly Reply

    Eew, was anyone else also creeped out by the “precious to me like a child”-comment?! I sincerely hope Mr Grey can distinguish between the love he feels for his wife and the love he would feel for a child. Was this REALLY the only way for E L James to announce the upcoming pregnancy? Just…eew.

    P.S. Of course not the only thing that creeped me out in this chapter, but definitely in my top 3!

  5. Ali Reply

    you know what would have been a better relationship to write about? mine. It’s just as boring, but husband is a lovely, sweet guy who brings me peanut butter. And occasionally spanks me and ties me up.

  6. Tâmara Reply

    First E.L. James character I ever cared about. But seriously, poor child. Ugh. What makes people like Christian, anyway?

  7. Bellomy Reply

    Ariel, something to think about for your thesis: You know another Christian Grey-mold character? The Phantom of the Opera. I’m thinking specifically of the Weber version.

    Seriously, think about it. The Phantom stalks Christine and has an almost hypnotic hold over her, COMMANDING her to sing for him and asking her to “give in” to his “power”. Then at the end of the show he of course kidnaps her and nearly rapes her.

    Of course, in the end Christine came to her sense and chose Raoul and got the Hell out of Dodge. But there’s a lot to be said for the reaction of the fans. They all LOVE the Phantom. Seriously, just read youtube comments. They adore him. And they all hate Raoul.

    Even Christine is infatuated to the point of nearly being a slave by the Phantom’s power. People find the raw power of people like Edward and Christian and Gideon and the Phantom extremely attractive. Just watch Music of the Night, it’s impossible to deny that, when the song is well performed, the Phantom radiates something powerfully attractive. Coming from a straight guy.

    Been looking at videos of that show lately, so it definitely got me thinking.

    • Tâmara Reply

      This. THIS. And also, he’s been in that theater for how long? Twenty, thirty years? And stalking Christine since she got there, when she was a teen and oh-so-pure. He was, at least, three times her age when the stalking began, and it continued for years. Well, apparently, that’s hot.

      • Bellomy Reply

        Yeah, I’m not even criticizing the show actually. The Phantom is a brilliant character, created and developed with the care and nuance E.L. James and Sylvia Day and Stephanie Meyer can only dream of.

        And it’s true-power is attractive. It’s mesmerizing. You don’t need to be specifically “in” to that type of thing to see it.

        In fact, “Phantom of the Opera” (again, thinking Weber) provides an excellent contrast to things like “Fifty Shades”. Christine, when given the choice between the darkness of life with the Phantom and daytime life with Raoul ultimately chooses Raoul. The Phantom, meanwhile, is shown to be an insane, broken man whose miserable life had led him to his infatuation with Christine. The relationship is never shown to be healthy. And Christine’s eventual acceptance of the Phantom is not shown as the beginning of a relationship but instead his ultimate redemption.

        The interesting thing with all of this is not between the characters, but with the fans. Fans ADORE the Phantom. I’m not even slightly exaggerating. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve read things from the fans all about how they’d take the Phantom over Raoul. The Phantom-a stalker who made clear his wish to control Christine and who is disturbed to the point where he’s willing to kidnap his beloved and kill her fiancee! And yet he’s a desirable figure.

        These “Edward-style” tragic characters are not new. And they’ve been done far, far better in the past.

      • Tâmara Reply

        Yeah, I agree. The Phantom is a brilliant character. I’ve seen the fans’ comments on youtube and forums and stuff. They are all like “Ugh Chirstine is such an idiot, who on earth would choose Raol over the Phantom?” And well, good works have always weird fans, but in this case, it’s the marjority. That’s something that have always confused me.

      • Bellomy Reply

        It also just occurred to me that I forgot to mention he killed people for no particularly good reason. So there’s that too.

  8. misshappycreature Reply

    What I never got about the entire plot is the double standard that Ana has for herself in the sub/just kidding. She likes being a sub, until she doesn’t. Normal people, and that includes people who are into BDSM, solve this by living out their fantasies in the bedroom while maintaining the assurance that it’s all in good fun. A little verbal foreplay here and there outside of the bedroom can be a precursor, but none of it is serious.

    What’s so irritating about their relationship it tries to do both sexual fantasy+normal relationship and master/slave relationship at the same time, which is impossible. You can fit into only one of those categories. Christian does a lot of demeaning flirting, and it’s cute and if you’re into it, sexy, and until he’s not kidding any more. At this point most women would punch him in the face, or at least set him straight, but she never does.

    Dom-sub relationships as a 24/7 lifestyle are hardcore, and it takes a certain kind of personality to function in them. Some people apparently feel better when they totally relinquish control, but Ana certainly doesn’t seem like one of those people, and yet she essentially married into it.

  9. Nunyabizz Reply

    “Christian gets jealous of course. Urg. So he starts doing sexy things to Ana and asking if those guys did them.”

    ~ Petty enough to get jealous over something that happened before you even met your partner, but obscenely hypocritical on top of that when you’ve fucked 16 other women while your partner has only ever been with you. If anyone has a reason or right to be jealous, it’s Ana.

    “Apparently, the whole time they had sex The X-Files was on in the background. That’s a really weird detail to have in the book and also a really unsexy show to have on in the background. That show scared me so much when I tried to watch it a few years ago. I’m a wimp.”

    ~ Not if you’ve got the hots for Mulder. 😉


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