Last time, Ana was rescued by Christian and co from Hyde. She overheard bits and pieces of conversations while she was in and out of consciousness. She woke up, and Christian helped her pee. Now you know.
So much of nothing happens in the first part of this chapter. Ana again wonders why Christian is so scared of being a father and determines it’s because of his birth mother because his adoptive parents seem great. Well, no shit Ana. I thought we cracked that code ages ago. She continues to wonder why Christian went to see his ex the other night, she continues to try to remember the conversations she overheard, and Christian continues to badger her to eat. A detective shows up to ask questions.
Don’t worry, if you’re wondering when all the sexy sex is coming back, Christian has the answer.
As Dr. Singh leaves, Christian asks her for a quick word in the corridor.
He keeps the door ajar as he asks her a question. She smiles.
“Yes, Mr. Grey, that’s fine.”
He grins and returns to the room a happier man.
“What was all that about?”
“Sex,” he says, flashing a wicked grin.
Oh. I blush. “And?”
“You’re good to go.” He smirks.
What a sweetheart.
Unimportant conversations are had with detectives and people like Ray, and finally Ana gets to go home. But if you were worried that Ana was acting too strong, James won’t allow such nonsense to continue! She bursts into tears as soon as they get home.
When the doors of the elevator slide open, Christian picks me up like a child and carries me into the foyer. I wrap my arms around his neck and cling to him, keening quietly.
I was so worried we’d have to read a chapter of this book that didn’t infantilize Ana, and I was like, “No fucking way, I read this book because I don’t to read about a woman who is treated like a woman. Books aren’t sexy unless the woman is treated as a weak child who needs protection.” This is just the foreplay, friends.
So then they shower together and Ana continues to cry until she has this “epiphany”.
He has some explaining to do, but right now I want to revel in the feel of his comforting, protective arms around me. And in that moment it occurs to me; any explanations on his part have to come from him. I can’t force him —he’s got to want to tell me. I won’t be cast as the nagging wife, constantly trying to wheedle information out of her husband. It’s just exhausting. I know he loves me. I know he loves me more than he’s ever loved anyone, and for now, that’s enough. The realization is liberating.
So instead of sticking to her guns about all this, Ana reverts to thinking that demanding answers to a legitimate question makes her a nagging wife. Thank God James is teaching the women of the world how to accept things as long as you know he loves you. Christian is just forgiven because why not.
I’m pretty salty over the way things turned out in this book still. Using Hyde as a way to conveniently get these two to work out their problems just pisses me the fuck off. It’s like an episode of Chopped when the ingredients are super random and you’re expecting the chefs to make something interesting and cool with it and instead it’s like…they made a salad. A really fucking boring salad that anyone could make. For once this series had some interesting ingredients and James made a motherfucking salad.
Christian also lets Ana know that one of the detectives thinks he found the connection between Hyde and Christian bum bum bum. Christian also reveals that Hyde blackmailed Elizabeth (who?) and his other former assistants with videos of them having rough sex. SCANDALOUS!
“Yes, it was reckless, but you know, your sister was in danger.”
His face falls. “Yes. She was.” Switching off the hairdryer, he puts it
down on the bed beside him. He grasps my chin.
“Thank you,” he says, surprising me. “But no more recklessness. Because next time, I will spank the living shit out of you.”
I gasp. “You wouldn’t!”
“I would.” He’s serious. Holy cow. Deadly serious. “I have your stepfather’s permission.” He smirks. He’s teasing me! Or is he? I launch myself at him, and he twists so that I fall onto the bed and into his arms. As I land, pain from my ribs shoots through me and I wince.
Christian pales. “Behave!” he admonishes, and for a moment he’s angry.
“Sorry,” I mumble, caressing his cheek.
I think it’s creepy that it’s come up again that Ray told Christian to spank Ana. The misogyny in this book, man, it’s not even funny anymore. And there really was a point I found it funny because it was just so ridiculous!
So before bed there’s not much else to talk about except the fact that Christian won’t have sex with Ana while she’s all injured and stuff. But then Ana wakes up to Christian being all weird, and he tells her that he’s just found out that he and Hyde lived together! They’re not related but they had the same foster parents, but then Christian’s parents adopted him and Hyde didn’t get adopted. So Hyde thinks that Christian’s life and money should have been his? Well that was a stupid “twist”.
Christian doesn’t remember anything about Hyde, though, or that time in his life. Ana doesn’t miss an opportunity to try to make us deeply sympathize with Christian.
“I remember other things, from before and after. When I met my mom and dad. But this . . . It’s like there’s a huge chasm.”
My heart twists and understanding dawns. My darling control freak likes everything in its place, and now he’s learned he’s missing part of the jigsaw.
So Ana throughout this chapter keeps thinking about how Christian at one point said that he and Hyde are cut from the same cloth (they both had really shitty backgrounds), and Ana remembers that, like Hyde, Christian kept photos of his ex submissives to use as blackmail. But instead of actually pulling some of the similarities apart, she’s just like, “OMG You’re different!” I get that Christian isn’t pure evil or anything, but nothing in this book convinces me that any of what he does is okay. If Ana’s going to excuse all his bad behavior because of his past, she’s basically giving everyone with a bad past a free ride…well, if they’re sexy.
Ana tells Christian to call his parents, and they end up coming over to discuss the whole thing. For some reason Christian’s whole family and Ana’s BFF Kate also show up. In case you forgot, Kate is marrying Christian’s brother Elliot. Kate and Ana have an exchange that makes no sense.
She stands back and wipes her eyes, embarrassed, then takes a deep breath and composes herself. “On a more positive note, we’ve set a date for
our wedding. We thought next May? And of course I want you to be my matron of honor.”
“Oh . . . Kate . . . Wow. Congratulations!” Crap—Little Blip . . . Junior!
Ana is the worst friend ever. She’s so fucking insincere! And doesn’t even react to being named matron of honor! Also, what on fucking earth do those thoughts mean? I guess she’s trying to tell us that by that time she’ll have a kid, but Jesus Christ it sounds like the book was written in another language and poorly translated or something.
Later, Christian tells Ana more about his history with Elena (Evil Cougar/Mrs. Robinson). It basically reads like a porno.
“So I was in the backyard at the Lincolns’, clearing some rubble and trash from the extension Mr. Lincoln had just added to their place . . .”
Bow chica wow w…wha? Wait. Wait. What the fuck? The chapter just abruptly ends with this:
Holy fuck…he’s talking.
So I guess we have to wait A WHOLE WEEK before hearing the rest of the origin story? Man, oh man, this is nail biter status, guys.