Crossfire Series Personality Test! Which Character Are You (In Terms of Breaking Up): Reflected In You Chapter 7

Well, it’s one of those chapters again. Lest we forget that the Crossfire series is the “serious” answer to Fifty Shades, this whole chapter is about Eva and Gideon on the verge of breaking up. It is a depressing look at two mentally unstable individuals destroying each other and themselves. It is not very fun.

Which you understand we are all about here.
Which you understand we are all about here.

And it’s not even offensive like the “serious” chapters Sylvia Day writes usually are! It’s just really miserable reading about two unhealthy people making objectively awful decisions. So it doesn’t make sense to me to write up my own reading like I usually do, because Ariel said everything I want to say yesterday. She made the jokes that could be made, she hit the nail on the head for the high points that actually had potential to make a good novel, and then criticized what went wrong (Good work, Ariel! You’re awesome!)

So here’s what we’re going to do for this chapter instead:

Get excited.

Chapter 7

Here are the rules! We are going to put you (the reader!) in the place of various characters throughout this chapter during scenes leading up to a possible breakup, and then present you with a choice! Each choice will tell you to either add or subtract a number from your score, which starts at zero. At the end, you’ll find out which Reflected In You character YOU most deal with an imminent breakup like! Get ready for FUN!

Question One

You are Eva Trammel. You’re a twenty-four-year-old woman who just recently moved to New York City and have a job in advertising! You also have rich parents who totally get on your nerves by doing things like paying your rent! GAH. PARENTS. You also have an absurdly rich and attractive CEO boyfriend who owns, like, half of New York City? You’re unclear on that one. He doesn’t really tell you things.

You are at your Krav Maga class and your trainer Parker Smith (side note: literally every minor character I predicted making an unnecessary return in the sequel back in Chapter 2 has already come true) notices that you’re not focused! “You’re wasting my time,” he tells you. “If you’re going to be here, be here. One hundred percent. Not a million miles away in your head somewhere.” But you have been a million miles away! You’ve been having TROUBLE with your boyfriend, who just isn’t opening up to you.

You go home and bathe, and when he gets home he joins you in the bath. He lifts you up and you sit on his lap, and he says, “Lean into me, angel. I need to feel you.”

Question Two

You are Gideon Cross. Congratulations on your penis! You’re having LADY PROBS. Your girlfriend saw your ex-fiance leaving your office building and her lipstick smeared on a shirt of yours in the trash, and then got upset with you when you didn’t explain things and you got mad at her for thinking you’d cheat on her. That only made her more upset. Weird.

So things have been tense lately, and you’re feeling some distance that upsets you. You tell her that you just want to spend time with her.

“Can we give it a rest tonight? […] I just want to be with you, all right? Order something in for dinner, watch TV, hold you when I sleep. Can we do that? […] I just want some time with you.”

That was reasonably heartfelt! Your girlfriend gives you a kiss. Or something.

started out soft and slow, licking and suckling.

Question Three

You are Eva. You wake up from a nightmare about your step-brother sexually assaulting you to find your boyfriend unconsciously trying to sexually assault you in his sleep because he has atypical sexual parasomnia. I’m so sorry about this, but we need to figure out what Crossfire character you’re most like.

You defend yourself, although it emotionally pains you to do so.

I attacked the man I loved, the man whose nightmares blended with mine in the most horrific way.

You get out of the room as he comes to and realizes what has happened. While you compose yourself in the living room, he gathers his things and leaves. Both of you are traumatized by what has transpired, especially because you both understand that his medical condition isn’t his fault. Your roommate and best friend, Cary, comes in the room and you explain what happened. He gives you some advice.

“Shit, Eva. I’ve never seen you like this. I can’t stand it. […] Enough is enough. Cut him off. […] It’s not your responsibility to save him.”

Question Four

You are Gideon. This isn’t a very good time to be you. I mean, yeah, this is a quiz about what you’re like when you’re about to break up with someone, so, yeah, even in terms of that. You go to your therapist about what happened last night, and, as you explain it later, he told you:

“That we’re in too deep. We’re drowning each other. He thinks we need to pull back, date platonically (What? What does that even mean?) sleep separately, spend more time together with others and less time alone.”

Question Five

You are Eva. Gideon’s been quiet all day and said he probably wasn’t going to meet up with you later. You’re pretty sure he’s going to break up with you. You go to his apartment, to the replica of your bedroom he has in his apartment (Wait, why are you cool with this?), and take a shower.

Question Six

You are Gideon. You get home and find your girlfriend, that your therapist has advised you to break things off with, and you’re pretty sure that she’s been thinking the same thing. You ask how long she’s been here and if she’s eaten. She says no.

Question Seven

You are Eva. Your boyfriend is finally about to have the break up talk with you. Or it would seem so, but then he says this:

“If you’re waiting for me to break up with you, you can stop waiting. […] I can’t do it,” he said flatly. “I can’t even say I’ll let you walk, if that’s why you’re here.”

Time for the Results!

Now it’s time to see which character from Reflected In You you most handle a breakup like! Share your results in the comments! It’ll be like talking about what Hogwarts House you’re in, but like 100% less fun!

If you have a positive score: You handle breaking up like Eva. You’re doing okay, but you should stop surrounding yourself with crazy people. Also, uh, learn what a healthy relationship looks like. This ain’t it.

If you have a negative score: You handle breaking up like Gideon. You are controlling and out of touch with reality, and really need to admit that you have problems and then actually try to work on them. Look, I’m not gonna be nice to you about this. You’re kind of a dick.

If your score is zero: You handle breaking up like someone who is not a character in this book. You might actually make good decisions in your life! Or your answers canceled out to zero and you’re both Eva and Gideon? Look, I don’t know how to design personality quizzes. Maybe you’re just super crazy.

If you have a bunch of tallies off to the side: You handle breaking up like Cary. I have no idea what your problem is.

Oh, wait, yes, I do.
Oh, wait, yes, I do.
Advertisements

0 comments

  1. Bellomy Reply

    I promise I did not cheat to the end, but I’m going to guess that the extra tally is Cary. Let’s see.

    [Finishes Test]

    I am fucking GOOD.

    Also, I’m a zero. That too.

  2. blankexpression42 Reply

    well, i’m just special. i came up with 0.5…
    does that make me a minor character who was referenced once in the first book
    and will show up in a couple chapters only to mysteriously disappear until the next book?

    • matthewjulius Reply

      wait how the hell did you come up with half a point. what did you do. I’m so confused. WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BEAUTIFUL REFLECTED IN YOU PERSONALITY TEST

  3. Rebecca Reply

    Damn it! Got -1. I’m sorry, I just like chicken noodle soup too much!

  4. Kristin Reply

    Very, VERY clever post! (And thank you for it NOT being on a Monday. There is to be no math on Mondays.) Since my score was positive AND I had some tallies to the side does that make Tatiana? (Matthew, can I give bonus points if anyone remembers who THAT minor character is?)

    • matthewjulius Reply

      I had to look it up, because I’ve just been referring to her (as has THIS BOOK) as “that blonde woman Cary was sleeping with”. You can give bonus points, but, uh, the way the test is designed, I don’t know if you want too?

  5. Nessie Reply

    Damn that tomato soup! At least I’m Eva for an arbitrary reason, or do you reckon there’s a significance in her dietary choice?

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.