Stereotypes About Bisexuality and Gold Diggers are Fun!: Reflected in You Chapter 12

A whole lot of nothing happened last chapter. They went away for a weekend at the beach, Gideon came while they made out and Eva was all about that weird shit. She was like, “It was the most erotic moment of my life.” Eva’s most erotic moment was somehow my most perplexing moment.

Chapter 12

Because there’s no way this series could continue while Gideon and Eva are simply a happy couple, Cary ends up in the hospital! And it happened while Eva was away having fun. She should take this to mean that she and Gideon should never go anywhere together, never take baths together, never turn their phones off, never have fun, and just break up. HAPPINESS IS WRONG!

Cary is in the hospital because he was attacked Friday night. Wasn’t Friday night when Gideon was attacking Brett? God, Friday was not a good day to be a character in the Crossfire series. I almost said that no day was a good day to be a character in this book, and I’d be sort of right. But think about it. Most of these characters are super rich, attractive, and have great sex! So it ain’t all bad.

Gideon’s money even gets them into the hospital to see Cary after hours! Thank God he seems to either own or have given money to every single place in New York.

Cary hears them come in and tells them he got jumped by a guy with a baseball bat. Is this really something that happens? People prowling the streets outside of busy clubs with baseball bats, instead of knives, ready to jump someone? I know it happens but it still strikes me as bizarre compared to a concealed weapon.

A major twist then happens. Gideon is a supportive and good boyfriend in this situation.

Cary looked at me desperately. “Don’t go.”

“She’s not going anywhere,” Gideon said, reentering the room. “I’ve arranged to have a cot brought in tonight.”

I didn’t think it was possible to love Gideon more than I already did, but he somehow kept finding ways to prove me wrong.

Eva says this about almost everything Gideon does! From ordering the kind of soup she likes to something like this which is actually really wonderful and kind of him to do. I’m not saying the soup thing isn’t fine and dandy, but Eva saying this has lost so much weight because Gideon could bring her home like a chocolate bar and she’d be like, “I didn’t know I could love him more, but then I did. Because he brought me exactly the kind of chocolate bar I was thinking about.”

Before going to sleep, Cary says this happened because he put his dick in the wrong chick. So her vagina attacked him with the baseball bat, I’m assuming. They should make a sequel to that movie Teeth about the vagina with teeth in it. You know the one where everyone that chick meets wants to rape her for some reason? Except in the sequel a hand holding a baseball bat would reach out of the vagina and beat people to death. Wouldn’t that be so creepy?

The next morning, Eva’s mom comes in for visiting hours and admonishes Eva for having her phone off the whole weekend, because, you know, an emergency could have happened. Eva rightfully points out that one did in fact happen and that she shouldn’t have had her phone off and feels bad. Eva’s mom also calls Cary a tramp (even though she loves him) and reveals that Cary was told to keep his hands off “her,” so there’s another mystery about who this woman is. For some reason. This isn’t a very exciting mystery!

Gideon comes in, and Eva’s mom continues to demonstrate her annoying, judgmental nature with gusto!

“God. I love you.”

“Eva!” My mother’s startled exclamation made me wince. She advocated withholding the words I love you until the wedding night.

“Sorry, Mom. Can’t help it.”

Who waits UNTIL they get married to tell someone they love them? This woman sounds batshit insane…bat…Cary was beaten with a baseball bat…IT WAS EVA’S MOM!

While Gideon gets yelled at for Eva’s mom for taking her away for the weekend without their phones, Eva goes to talk to Cary about how he didn’t inform her that her ex boyfriend was in the band she was going to see.

“I didn’t want you to hear their first single if it could be helped.”

Okay. So. Let me get this straight. Cary wasn’t worried Eva was going to leave Gideon and go back to Brett, he just didn’t want her to hear their new famous single. Because there’s a good chance a band won’t play their new single at their fucking concert, I guess? So he was like just going to take a gamble and hope they didn’t play the blow job song? Jesus Christ, the motives in this book are getting bad as the ones in The Host. 

The conversation shifts to Trey (Cary’s sort of boyfriend whom he cheated on). But then it goes to shit. Cary says he loves Trey, but he also is attracted to women and doesn’t want to give that up.

“I can’t be faithful like he wants. Just him and me. I like women. Love them, actually. I’d be cutting off half of who I am.”

fucking kidding me

This just reinforces the stupid stereotype that bi people can’t commit and just wanna sleep with everyone ’cause they just can’t get enough of the sex! Whether you’re straight or bi, committing can be hard, but being bi shouldn’t be the reason Cary can’t commit, it makes no sense. It’s fine if he’s just the type of person who doesn’t like monogamy, but I object to his issue with monogamy being that, because he’s bisexual, love isn’t enough to keep him committed to someone of one sex because then he can’t bang the other. Have I mentioned before that I hate Cary? Probably.

But you know who might be worse?

Sorry I made you pick just one. They are all the worst! In this case, though, I’m thinking Eva’s mom is pretty fucking terrible. She comes in and starts giving Eva really creepy advice about Gideon.

“He’s going to marry you,” my mother said, coming up to stand beside me. “You know that, don’t you?”

“He’s completely taken you over and assumed control of everything.”

“That’s the nature of all powerful men…And he’ll indulge you, because he’s making an investment in you. You’re an asset to him . You’re beautiful, well bred and well connected, and independently wealthy. You’re also in love with him and he can’t take his eyes off you. I bet he can’t keep his hands off you, either.”

“You’re an asset now,” she repeated. “See that your life choices don’t make you a liability.”

“Are you talking about Cary?” Anger sharpened my voice.

“I’m talking about the bruise on Gideon’s jaw! Tell me that has nothing to do with you.” I flushed. She tsked.

“I knew it. Yes, he’s your lover and you see an intimate side to him that few see, but don’t ever forget that he’s also Gideon Cross. You’ve got everything you need to be the perfect wife for a man of his stature, but you’re still replaceable, Eva. What he’s built is not. You jeopardize his empire and he’ll leave you.”

So he’s totally, definitely going to marry Eva, his asset, but Eva is also totally replaceable? Objectifying her own daughter while also offering strategies to landing an extremely rich man who can accept her “quirks” (I guess that’s what we’re calling a past full of sexual abuse these days?) Mom of the year up in here!

I don't watch GOT anymore, but I love this.
I don’t watch GOT anymore, but I love this.

Fear not, though Trey shows up and Eva’s mom leaves, stereotypes remain the most prominent character of this chapter. Here, just look at Eva and Trey’s conversation!

“I’m the one who’s not enough for him. He’s got the drive of a hormonal teenager and I’m working or in school all the damn time.”

“He’s bisexual, Trey,” I said softly, reaching out to run a comforting hand down his biceps. “That doesn’t mean you’re lacking.”

BISEXUALITY IS NOT THE PROBLEM HERE, IT IS CARY!!!!

Eva and her mom head off to breakfast and leave Cary and Trey alone to blame bisexuality for all their problems.

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  1. Bellomy Reply

    “God. I love you.”

    “Eva!” My mother’s startled exclamation made me wince. She advocated withholding the words I love you until the wedding night.

    1) This makes absolutely no sense.

    2) I have NEVER heard this before. I’m calling bullshit that anybody ever actually believed this.

    3) Going by the ultra-conservatives I know, saying “God” first, in all seriousness, would actually be the far bigger deal (well, it would matter, because to say it would be a “bigger” deal implies that saying “I love you” was somehow a problem). It’s taking God’s name in vain, and in all three major Abrahamic faiths this is a big no-no.

    I mean, if you want to have a vaguely offensive ultra-conservative stereotype express misplaced outrage at a random comment at least give the outrage a rational background.

    4) This makes absolutely no sense.

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  2. Rebecca Reply

    Wonderful post like always, have been looking forward to it the whole week. Oh my God that last quote of Eva ‘He’s bisexual!’ almost made me throw up. I am bisexual and I have a commitment phobia just like Cary (it’s very, VERY hard to admit I have something in common with him, as you can probably imagine), but for some reason I am not screwing around with strangers everyday. Maybe I should make an appointment with my GP about it

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