For those of you who feel like I just don’t talk about my personal life enough–because how can you read someone’s mockery of a book without knowing more about them? It’s like jeez, buy me dinner or something first, Ariel. Or at least the internet equivalent.– here’s a life update: I have a ladybug problem in my room. I’ve been finding one or two by the light in my room every night and was throwing them out the window without much thought. Then I noticed these weird brown clusters in the corner of my windows. The thing is, my windows are waaaaay high up. They span from floor to ceiling in my room, and it’s got real high ceilings in here. So I was both terrified of these mysterious blown clusters but also tried to convince myself they were nothing to fear. Until yesterday when the brown cluster seemed to burst and suddenly there were TONS of ladybugs climbing about my windows. Housekeeping came and vacuum them (and the remaining brown clustery bits) up.
It would seem the problem was done, but my boyfriend and I just found fucking more ladybugs in the window, and they seem to be trying to cluster IN THE SAME MOTHERFUCKING PART OF THE WINDOW. Damn it, ladybugs, what are you doing over there, humping? Like, I’m glad, you’re not creepy-crawlies or spiders, ladybugs, but fuck off. Okay. So back to Bared to You or whatever the fuck I’m reading.
Last time, Eva wrote a letter about her Sad Feelings to Gideon. But you know a modern woman’s kind of letter (an e-mail). He allegedly feels bad about his behavior and Eva’s pain. Turns out he’s in pain too, but she needs to trust him…for some reason! They bang all night long, but Gideon leaves before Eva wakes up.
Chapter 15
Before heading to work, Eva stops to check in on Cary long enough for me to make an easy joke about how shit this series is:
“What kind of vitamins does Cross take? […] I’m never not horny, and even I can’t pile-drive all night like that. I kept thinking, ‘He’s got to be done now.’ Then he’d start up again.”
It’s kind of like how I feel reading this book BOOM. No but seriously, that was an insane amount of fucking in the previous chapter. I’m not even sure it’s humanly possible. If I had more time, I might dedicate research of some sort to this, but no.
Cary has to go and somehow make things even grosser as he is apt to do. “It was good to find out my equipment still works. I hadn’t had a chubby since before the attack.” From the way he gets a boner listening to his friend have sex to the way he refers to said boner, Cary sure has a knack for taking the writing in this book from bad to really god awful.
At work, Eva is at the same meeting as Gideon, and he seems to be pointedly ignoring her. Even when he shakes her hand!
That brief touch of his skin against mine had sent a charge of awareness through me , my body immediately recognizing his as the one that had pleasured it all night. Gideon hadn’t seemed to register the contact at all, his gaze trained above my head as he’d said, “Miss Tramell.”
Her body recognizes him as opposed to what? Being like “Who the fuck’s hand is this?? Is it the same one that pleasured me last night or another? I give up!”
Also, with the amount of charges caused by Eva and Gideon’s skin coming into contact, you’d think this would make everyone around them prone to some sort of hazardous disaster of sexual proportions.
Eva calls Gideon in the afternoon and confirms that he’s still coming to dinner with Eva and her father and is bringing his sister (her name is Ireland, and don’t you forget it!) He also is still meeting her at therapy, so there’s hope! Brings a tear to my eye.
Oh, wait, except for the fact that Gideon doesn’t show up to the appointment after all.
When Eva gets home, Gideon’s sent one of his driver’s to get her, but she’s like, “Tell him I said fuck off.” Which seems like a bad way to get an explanation.
Eva hasn’t got time to worry too much, though, because it’s time for a visit from her dad! Who apparently is a DILF, and Eva is realllly creepy about describing him. I thought it was weird when she told us her mom was hot, but this is pushing it.
His hair was dark and wavy, his eyes stormy and gray like mine. He was seriously hot in a brooding, dangerous, bad-boy sort of way…
This is basically how she describes Gideon to us, so, I’ll leave you to mull that one over.
Gideon and his sister still show up for dinner with Eva and her dad. Gideon tries to be affectionate with Eva, but she tells him she doesn’t want to pretend. She inwardly whines about her feelings for ages.
Dinner is going…pretty meh. Gideon and Eva’s dad are trying to figure out who’s the alpha male, while Cary is making Ireland laugh. AND THEN THE PO PO SHOW UP! They’re here to announce that Nathan (evil step-brother) has been found dead. Yay! That guy was a piece of shit. And I’m so happy we don’t have to have a scene straight out of Fifty Shades where this asshat kidnaps Eva and talks like the most cliched villian in the world. Thank fuck for that! In Fifty Shades we had to read all of Ana’s whiny inner drama, all of Christian and Ana’s gross dialogue, all of Christian’s controlling bullshit, AND read that Jack Hyde nonsense. Props to Sylvia Day for not having Nathan be Jack Hyde 2.
So… I’m guessing since the main plot moving this novel along is now dead (no, really, dead), the new drama is going to be Eva freaking out thinking Gideon did it since he wasn’t at their therapy session? And then he’s going to tell her nothing, they’ll have an all night sex marathon, and everything will be all peaches and cream again.
Also, why would you ever describe your *father* as a seriously hot bad boy? Out of all the things in this series, this is probably the most disturbing (and vomit inducing) to me.
Day’s obsession with always describing how hot everyone is drives me crazy. Is no one ugly in NYC? Or is Eva too awesome to have ugly friends and/or parents? The only other author to annoy me this much with unnecessary detail to character looks and clothing is Laurell Hamiliton in her Anita Blake books.
OH MY GOD EVA CALLS HER DAD HOT
that is just too weird for words, Jesus Christ