What Should We Read Next?

We’ve finished our second annual Halloween Goosebumps celebration, and we know what we’re reading next. But pretty soon we’ll also be finishing our reading of Sylvia Day’s Reflected In You, and we haven’t quite made up our minds on that one yet. So we’re looking at you guys.

We’re weighing a few options, but we want to see if there’s any particular demand for anything. We’re not looking for any more romance, so we’d like to really use this opportunity to explore bad books from other genres. Anybody out there know any fantasy we should read? Or maybe an awful mystery novel? Some science fiction (we have decided that The Host did NOT count)? Inspirational books? Instructional books? Celebrity memoirs?!

Any ideas?

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0 comments

  1. Nadja (@Chapuran) Reply

    So, I live in Germany and the Number 1 bad book here is called “Feuchtgebiete” (Wetlands). Unfortunately it contains romance but I would love to hear your jokes about the really gross stuff that is in there 😀

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    • Cate Reply

      Actually, in a certain context, could that not also translate as “Wet/Moist Areas”? Is that supposed to be an innuendo or is it actually referring to marshy terrain? In any case it is already raising fascinating questions

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      • Sarah Reply

        It’s supposed to be an innuendo 😀 But I’m not sure that there’s an english Version of it.

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  2. E.H.Taylor Post authorReply

    Caller ID by Rachelle J. Christensen.

    I can’t remember what it was about it since it was a year ago and I’ve tried to block it from my memory, but I can remember thinking I had just wasted two hours of my life away and had a spectacular rant afterwards.

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  3. Judy Reply

    I Just received my “Uncle Jeb’s Cave Tours” mug! I’m glad I purchased it, rather than The Host.

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  4. Quinn Reply

    You two are still doing the Beautiful Disaster/Walking Disaster combo pack of awful, right? I haven’t read enough actual books lately to have any other suggestions unfortunately.

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  5. Bellomy Reply

    ERAGONERAGONERAGONERAGONERAGON

    Widely considered the “Twilight” of the high fantasy genre.

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  6. Ricard Reply

    In the line of “The Host” and YA novels, maybe “Divergent” series could be something you will catch up your eye-sight.
    I still cannot believe sometimes when I read that I said “this is stupid, but I like it”. They are, clearly, doing more than “Hunger Games” but they behave, well… like Twilight.

    P.D. Greetings from Spain! I love your posts

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    • Cate Reply

      Really? I only read a little of “Divergent” before it bored me so I’m no expert, but I didn’t think it was so bad. Sure, annoyingly YAF, but not necessarily *terrible* like Fifty Shades or Bared to You. And it has some semblance of a plot…

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      • Ricard Reply

        No, it wasn’t!
        I kept reading until the end, and it got quite emotional…

        But it was YAF annoying on the style “I’m feeling this, ooooh, shame on me”…
        As bad as moth/fly, snake/fire… NOT that bad

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  7. Dana Reply

    Hi! Long-time reader, first time commenter.

    God, there are so many bad books out there: Marked from the House of Night series, Eragon, Evermore, City of Bones, Modelland (by Tyra Banks!), A Discovery of Witches (this one would really make you want to gouge your eyes out, it’s so tedious), Shatter Me, Revealing Eden (though this one is almost too offensive to be humorous).

    By the way, have you ever heard of Gloria Tesch? She wrote a shitty, self-published book (Maradonia, or something) when she was ten or so, and has written some “fabulous” sequels since then. MY LORD, she is insane. She calls herself “the world’s youngest novelist” and believes a theme park based off her books is being created a la The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. She even had her rich parents create fake commercials and a “movie trailer” (that she stars in, by the way).

    http://www.maradonia-themovie.com/trailer.html

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  8. Judy Reply

    House of the Night series, A Discovery of Witches (book 2 came out recently) both are good choices. Both sell a lot of books and are ripe for mocking.

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  9. Cate Reply

    Dan Brown: Digital Fortress.

    I was having helpless giggling fits just by reading the scant sentences on the back of the book, and I. Am not. A giggler. At all. So I checked it out, and I literally read to the end of the first page (Prologue) and began crying at the unbearable cliché-ness of it all. I have been fantasizing about you two mocking and healthily reviewing it ever since :3

    Eragon may be cool …… but it’s SUUUPPER long and the bad parts aren’t generally LOL bad like in Twilight, more like wince and walk slowly away… exceedingly annoying stereotypes and thinly veiled gender biases abound, though. I still can’t believe the dimly-remembered legend where the bad guy wins the battle by kneeing the good guy in the balls. Talk about some sixteen year old boy’s vision of a heroic battle. If a 13-year-old reads your book and thinks you’re being immature, I don’t care how old or young or experienced you are as an author, count that as a red flag.

    Here, the Digital Fortress teaser (emphases mine): “When the NSA’s INVINCIBLE code-breaking machine encounters a mysterious code it cannot break, the agency calls in its head cryptographer, Susan Fletcher, a brilliant, beautiful mathematician. What she uncovers sends shock waves through the corridors of power. The NSA is being HELD HOSTAGE – not by guns or bombs, but by a code so complex that if released would CRIPPLE U.S. intelligence! Caught in an accelerating TEMPEST of secrecy and lies, Fletcher battles to save the agency SHE BELIEVES IN. Betrayed on all sides, she finds herself fighting not only for her country but for her life, and in the end, for the life of the man she loves…”

    Tell me you did not smirk at least once, even if you’re one of those real dignified people! I know it’s not necessarily *based* on sex or even romance, but from what I’ve read of Dan Brown, his female characters, while occasionally actually cool, are often simply unbearable, and have gotten worse with each consecutive book. And they’re always pining after some man, who in one way or another ends up being more of a main character.

    Tempest of secrecy and lies! Ha!

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    • Bellomy Reply

      Eragon may be cool …… but it’s SUUUPPER long and the bad parts aren’t generally LOL bad like in Twilight, more like wince and walk slowly away…

      Ah, I have to disagree with this. Some of his purple prose is fantastic. Probably the best part of the book.

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  10. Cate Reply

    Oh wow. I just read two pages of the first chapter and I definitely think it’s BBGT material. It starts with a woman dreaming about her fiancée, becoming hopelessly clingy and frustrated when he gets called away from work, and wasting valuable sleeping hours waiting for him to call back. Also Brown can’t go 10 sentences into his novel without the “main” character “moaning sensuously”.

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  11. Beatriz Reply

    I’ve only read an excerpt, but The Mortal Instruments seems pretty bad to me

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    • Jena Reply

      I second this. Hate Cassandra Claire with a passion and her books are certainly cringe-worthy and derivitive enough for this blog.

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    • Dana Reply

      I don’t know why exactly, but I always find the Mortal Instruments sporks the most amusing. I think one reason is Jace and his “wit”… Ugh, I hate him so much. I dont care what your fans say. You’re not funny or damaged, you are just an asshole!

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      • Jena Reply

        She tries so hard to make him some blend of Draco and Spike but he just ends up annoying.

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  12. Dana Reply

    If you guys can’t decide, you should just take some of the suggestions and do a poll. Let the readers battle it out and decide what to torture you with next.

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  13. Natalie Reply

    I am really happy you choose Beautiful/Walking Disaster! Nobody else is writing about them, and they are CRAZY kids! I hope you do continue with Sylvia Day’s Entwined with you just to round out what has been written so far in the series.

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  14. E.H.Taylor Post authorReply

    So, I got bored and decided to see if I could find something that could compete with all of these books you’ve already done, and I think I found one that might be able to beat them all! I haven’t read any, so I have no idea if the writing is any good, but just reading the plot… It basically reads as 2 Christians and a Gideon (who are all brothers) falling in love with their secretary, but not knowing who should get dibs. Therefore they do what anyone would do; they decide to share her! Throw in a dangerous stalker and I think we have a winner!

    https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12349215-their-virgin-captive?from_search=true

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