What Do You Know, Aphrodite Has Horrible Parents: Betrayed Chapter 2

"Woah"

If you missed chapter one of Betrayed then I have no idea how you’re ever going to catch up. I mean there was parent teacher night at the vampyre school, Neferet told off Zoey’s step-dad, and then we found out Damien was gay. Whew, did you follow all that? If you did I guess you’re ready for this chapter!

Chapter 2

Zoey leaves parent teacher night, and for some reason decides that now is the time to go on and on about why they held the event late at night during vampyre class time (it’s after midnight, do you know where you’re interesting plot is?). [Matthew says: I like how this is where the Casts draw the line for having to explain a “because they’re vampyres” thing, as opposed to how an actual subplot of the first book was Zoey feeling like people would judge her for drinking blood.]

Because there is no end to the thrilling things that go on in Zoey’s mind, she starts thinking about her “almostboyfriend.” [Matthew says: Oh my god, Zoey, what the hell does it take to advance from “almostboyfriend” to “boyfriend”?] The one and only Erik Night. Matt has pointed out a few times that it’s really unclear how we’re supposed to feel about Erik. At this point I feel like he’s a cross between Blando from Beautiful/Walking Disaster and Edward from Twilight. He’s a really boring, attractive vampyre who has yet to go totally apeshit on anyone.

But I bet you’re all wondering where the “delicious” Erik is right now and why Zoey hasn’t had that awkward “is-it-time-to-meet-the-almostboyfriend’s-parents moment”.

He was away from the school for the yearly Shakespeare monologue competition.

Oh, right he’s an actor. Well, at least he’s not off participating in a wannabe Fight Club or something. Unless of course the Shakespeare monologue competition is won only by physically destroying your opponent after delivering an intense Shakespearean monologue. [Matthew says: Also, take a moment to think about why it might make sense to have Erik Night, the primary love interest, suddenly be absent at the very beginning of book #2. Think about, I dunno, other YA books about vampires with questionably-desirable female leads. You know, for reference.]

Zoey finally tells us exactly how we’re supposed to feel about Erik. Not only this, but she reveals who some other famous vampyres are, just in case you weren’t satisfied that Kenny Chesney was a famous vamp. To top it all off, Zoey reminds us just how not homophobic and progressive she is!

He was tall, dark, and handsome— like an old-time movie star (without the latent homosexual tendencies). He was also incredibly talented. Someday soon he was going to join the rank of other vamp movie stars like Matthew McConaughey, James Franco, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Hugh Jackman (who is totally gorgeous for an old guy). Plus, Erik was truly a nice guy—which only added to his hotness.

Well, I’m sold, you guys. Erik Night is one hot hunk of teenage vampyre.

"Woah"

It seems like the plot of this book may be whether or not Erik wins this competition and becomes the next James Franco. [Matthew says: I’m pretty sure the Casts have no idea who James Franco is.] Sidenote: did anyone else watch the Veronica Mars movie? This clip spoils nothing at all, but it’s in the film!

Just when we thought Aphrodite couldn’t become an even more sympathetic character despite the books efforts to prove otherwise, Zoey witnesses Aphrodite’s cliche rich & disapproving & disappointed parents telling her that she is super disappointing. [Matthew says: It’s like we’re fleshing out the villain into a complex character, except it’s so predictable and hackneyed that the surprise is that we didn’t actually know this.]

You know Aphrodite’s mom is a bitch because, “Every time she gestured with her hands the gihugic pear -shaped diamond on her ring finger flashed a light as cold and beautiful as her voice.” I didn’t realize that flashing a cold light was a thing, but that was a really nice try Casts. It was almost a line as cold, gihugic and pretty as Aphrodite’s mom’s voice.

"Nailed it"

“Have you forgotten that your father is the mayor of Tulsa?” [That sounds like…a minor success? All my knowledge of Tulsa comes from reading The Outsiders, so I’m assuming he’s a total soc. Bellomy will get this joke at least if no one else does.] Aphrodite’s mom snapped viciously.
“No, no, of course not, Mother.”
Her mom didn’t seem to hear her. “Spinning a decent slant on the fact that you’re here instead of on the East Coast preparing for Harvard was difficult enough, but we consoled ourselves with the fact that vampyres can attain money and power and success, and we expected you to excel in this”—she paused and grimaced distastefully—”rather unusual venue. And now we hear that you’re no longer leader of the Dark Daughters and have been ejected from High Priestess training, which makes you no different than any of the other riffraff at this wretched school.”

God, Aphrodite, if you’re going to be a total weirdo at least be the head of the weirdos. Haven’t your parents taught you anything? Your father is the mayor of Tulsa! TULSA DAMN IT. Do her parents even understand what the Dark Daughters do? From what I can tell, it just involves a bunch of useless rituals and sneaking into museums to accidentally summon zombie vampyre ghosts. It really doesn’t seem to have anything to do with fame and success as all the famous people seem to be vampyres who were presumably not all head of the Dark Daughters or Sons.

[Matthew says: Here’s what honestly confuses me the most about House of Night. Half the time vampyres are like lepers (it negatively effects someone’s abilities to go to a prestigious school), but then the other half of the time vampyres are the most valued members of society (people keep looking up to vampyre celebrities like (ugh) Kenny Chesney and James Franco). What is the deal here? This isn’t remotely consistent and changes whenever the Casts need it to be convenient. Everybody loves former vampyre presidents JFK and Teddy Roosevelt! Too bad WASHINGTON HATES VAMPYRES. Everybody loves vampyre astronauts John Glenn and Neil Armstrong! Too bad SPACE HATES VAMPYRES.]

Just in case this wasn’t being laid on thick enough,

“As usual, you disappoint us,” her father repeated.

Ouch.

"Ouch"

Aphrodite points out that her father already said this, so her mother slaps her and then tells her not to cry because tears are for the weak! The Casts clearly just copy/pasted all of this shit out of Bitchy Moms for the Cliche Soul.

Before I write in what Aphrodite says next, just remember that we’re supposed to hate her. We’re supposed to like Zoey more than her. When her parents tell her that they’ve been trying to convince Neferet to make her head of the Dark Daughters again, Aphrodite responds with this:

“The other girl is a better leader than I am. I realized that on Samhain. She deserves to be head of the Dark Daughters. I don’t.”

Even though I strongly disagree, I still think this shows that Aphrodite is 1000 times better than Zoey at life.

“Get the new girl out of the way, and Neferet will be more likely to give you back your position.”
Ah, crap. “The new girl” was me. [Gasp!]
“Discredit her. Cause her to make mistakes, and then be sure it’s someone else who tells Neferet about them and not you. It’ll look better that way.”

So is this going to be the plot of the book? Watching Aphrodite try to follow her parents’ orders while Zoey tries to… avoid being discredited? I really hope not. [Matthew says: Man, this would be like if the second Harry Potter book had a parent of his rival from the first book put a plan into motion that ruins Harry’s reputation and the primary conflict is Harry just trying to not get discredited. Could you imagine? What if the Casts actually copied so many ideas from Harry Potter that they copied a low point like that too? It’s crazy that House of Night totally came up with this boring plot all by itself!]

Aphrodite’s parents are also the reason she always tries to hide her visions because knowledge is power!

I couldn't not use this gif again. It was just too tempting.
I couldn’t not use this gif again. It was just too tempting.

So because power is pizza, Aphrodite must now use her power to gain favor with Neferet again. Zoey is appalled by this!

Her mom and dad actually thought it was okay to keep quiet about information that could save lives. And her father was the mayor of Tulsa! (No wonder he looked familiar.)

Do you recognize this man?

mayortulsajpg

This is the current Mayor of Tulsa and possibly Aphrodite’s father. How could he be capable of such terrible deeds!

Zoey is sad because now she sees Aphrodite in a whole new, more sympathetic light. Man, I hate when that happens!

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22 comments

  1. Bellomy

    Whoooo yeah you managed to work in a reference to my first poorly-written concept for a guest post! I was wondering if that would ever come up.

    For the hordes of interested readers: Before I wrote my now Legendary(TM) Animorphs post, I tried to write a post comparing (in a most humorous fashion, natch) whatever the fuck the book was at the time to “The Outsiders”, which I hated in middle school.

    This backfired badly for two reasons: 1) I actually enjoyed it a lot more on a re-read, and 2) The post sucked donkey balls.

    And so onto the compost heap it went.

    The good news: I’m writing another special guest post for all of you lovely readers! Isn’t that just the damndest thing? Don’t expect it anytime soon, not because it won’t be here soon (it might be), but because I refuse to make promises considering my horrible penchant for procrastination.

    Anyway, thanks for feeding my insatiable ego, BBGT team!

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    • 22aer22 Post author

      Hehe I just knew you would actually get the Outsiders reference, and I was really happy! I debated not keeping it in, but my reasoning was that if I could guarantee at least one person would get it (and I could) I’d keep it in.

      I have so many bonus post ideas that go into the compost heap…sometimes even my regular posts feel like they belong in a compost heap but the show must go on, and sometimes the chapters we’re writing about are just too lame to even joke about properly.

      We can’t wait to read your next post! EH Taylor has also sent us some really great material, so Matt and I are just super impressed and lucky that we have such talented members in the community who want to contribute.

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  2. Madeline

    I had to Google where Tulsa is. Aphrodiate’s parents could not be more full of themselves. And she’s supposed to be villain? The difference between her and Draco Malfoy is Draco’s father still loved him and he was still full of himself. Aphrodiate admits that Zoey is a better leader (footage not found). I’m just dumbfounded by the lack of logic. Also I keep forgetting who Erik Night is.

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    • 22aer22 Post author

      I guarantee you’re not alone. If I hadn’t read The Outsiders I wouldn’t have known either, and I definitely had to Google the mayor.

      It’s funny in both Aphrodite and Draco’s case I feel more sorry for them than anything. They’re both just kind of pathetic – at least in Draco’s case that’s how he turned out to be if I’m remembering correctly (it’s been awhile). I don’t know if this series is going to keep Aphrodite as an antagonist or if Super Special Mary-Sue Zoey is going to show her the true meaning of friendship or something.

      Now that the creepy Vampyre Poet Laureate has been introduced I think the book has forgotten who Erik Night is too. Even they way they got him out of this book is really lame and a big fuck you to good old Erik.

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  3. Bellomy

    Now the fun shit:

    He was tall, dark, and handsome— like an old-time movie star (without the latent homosexual tendencies). He was also incredibly talented. Someday soon he was going to join the rank of other vamp movie stars like Matthew McConaughey, James Franco, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Hugh Jackman (who is totally gorgeous for an old guy).

    1) Apparently, all old-time movie stars had latent homosexual tendencies! Well isn’t that going to add a whole new coating of fun to Rick and Renault’s scenes in “Casablanca!”!

    2) On a slightly more serious literary note: Those parenthetical asides by Zoey have always made her look really, really immature. This is probably a symptom of trying to make Zoey “think like a teenager”.

    I’d imagine the thought process to be something like, “Hmmmmm…the narration seems normal…too normal…what do teenagers think of? Aha! They focus on physical attractiveness and sexuality! And they think middle-aged people are ‘old!’! Classic teenager! Write that shit down!”

    The sad thing is, I honestly don’t think I’m far off the mark.

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    • 22aer22 Post author

      They totally had a chuckle over teens thinking that anyone over the age of like 25 is super old. “LAWL Hugh Jackman is hot…for an old guy. What a teen thing to think! High fives all around.”

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  4. Bellomy

    By the way, if you’re referencing HP book 5, that was awesome what are you even going on about.

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  5. Dana

    If all they want is for her to be rich and successful, shouldn’t Aphrodite’s parents be, I don’t know, happy that she’s a vampire (I refuse to spell it the other way)? You know, considering that nearly every celebrity you can possibly think of is one!

    Casts, there’s a thing called “logic,” and your book is in serious need of it. There’s also a thing called, “good writing.” Yes, it’s in need of that too, but that should have been fairly obvious by now.

    Anyway, tangent: Ugh, I have no one to see the Veronica Mars film with because no one I know has ever seen the show. I’ll simply have to watch it illegally online all by my lonesome *Tears*

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    • Madeline

      I have the same predicament, I actually considered going by myself, but going to a movie theater alone is too sad even for me.

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      • matthewjulius

        Going to movies alone is awesome! I saw the first Hunger Games by myself; it’s a weirdly freeing experience to be like “what? I can’t watch a MOVIE by myself? OH MY GOD LOOK AT WHAT I’M DOING”

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      • 22aer22 Post author

        They don’t need to see the show to get the movie! I forced my boyfriend to watch it with me, and he even admitted that it was good fun. Obviously he mocked me when I got all gooey over any scene Veronica and Logan were in together, though.

        We should have a serious discussion soon over why Logan’s bad boy tendencies/anger issues were handled way better than Travis’. Cause they have some similarities, but the show still made Logan lovable/redeemable while making it clear the show (and Veronica) knew how flawed he was.

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  6. E.H.Taylor

    And yet again, a character has to have a terrible past with terrible parents in order to explain away their flaws. Let me guess, Damien uses big words to hide the fact that his parents don’t accept him being gay? (He is gay, right?)

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    • matthewjulius

      Damien’s diction exuberantly professes a proclivity for inscrutability to obscure his deviancy from the construct of which his relations ineffably partake.

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      • 22aer22 Post author

        We can’t jump to any conclusions as we still haven’t had any clear confirmation that Damien is actually gay. All speculation at this point.

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  7. allex

    “Have you forgotten that your father is the mayor of Tulsa?” [That sounds like…a minor success? All my knowledge of Tulsa comes from reading The Outsiders, so I’m assuming he’s a total soc…]

    I laughed too hard at this. Solid reference.

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  8. Kristin

    Mayor of Tulsa? Pfft…it would be more impressive if he was the inventor of Toaster Strudel.

    Also, wouldn’t it be a better plot if Erik Night DID turn out to be gay?

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  9. janelovering

    ‘Hugh Jackman (who is totally gorgeous for an old guy)’

    This is a statement of fact, is it? What if I don’t fancy Hugh Jackman? What does that make me, Casts, huh?

    I hate books telling me what ‘gorgeous’ is…

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  10. Jena

    I’m confused about the whole vampire thing (go figure). I remember there was a meaningless plot point in the last book about Zoey accidentally drinking blood and being all grossed out. So…is that the only time she’s drunk blood? Do the vampires need to drink blood to stay alive, or do they just eat normal food? They also don’t appear to be immortal. So other than some elemental and ghost bullshit, they’re basically just humans?

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    • Savvy

      Forgive me for replying to this nearly a month later, but I just discovered this blog, and as someone who has (sadly) read all the books in the series, I just wanted to attempt to answer you:
      I’m pretty sure they don’t need to drink blood to survive. They seem to just drink it because it tastes good, and you can create imprints on someone or something by drinking a person’s blood, and also it’s like SUPER SEXUAL so that’s fun, and also makes a plot point in a later book really hilarious when you think back on it. They mostly just eat real food (Zoey drinking “brown pop” and Count Chocula becomes an obnoxiously recurring feature later on). It’s not clear if they can survive on blood alone, or if they actually need to eat anything.

      I’m like 90% sure they’re biologically immortal, because there’s some freaking old vampires that show up later, but they can still die if stabbed through the neck or beheaded or whatever. But if they do just live forever, then I’m not really sure why Vampyre Shakespeare isn’t still alive. Boy, just think if the vampyre literature class was taught by vampyre Shakespeare instead of whoever it is in the books.
      Also it’s pretty much never explained why so many people totally hate the vampyres even though pretty much every beautiful, famous, successful person who has ever lived was a vampyre. I think Bram Stoker and a local news anchor are the only celebrities who aren’t vampyres (yeah, seriously – Bram Stoker wasn’t a vampire, but still wrote Dracula. I forget which book it is, but Zoey says Dracula is like totes her favorite book, and Neferet throws a fit about her liking something so inaccurate, written by a mere HUMAN. That raises further questions – if vampyres clearly exist in this universe, why or how do Dracula and True Blood exist?).

      Sorry for the long reply to your month-old comment!

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