Calendar Girl (February) Chapter 5: Alec Continues to be a Realistic Portrayal of Someone Who Would Hire a Call Girl

Sawyer from Lost says 'yeah, whatever'

Calendar Girl (February) Chapter 5:

Alec and Mia engage in a post-coital snuggle/chat:

“Do you realize you barely say anything in English when you’re fucking?”

Alec’s body tightened before he responded. “I do not fuck, chérie. I told you, I make love to you, to your body.” His tone was drop dead serious and I couldn’t grasp why. “And I speak in French because you make me so far gone, I lose myself in you, in your sexy body.”

I don’t trust this guy, not for a second. Who says shit like this and is not secretly a serial killer?

Then Mia is like, “But if we make love won’t be fall in love???” which I find very stupid. This is like when I was 14 and believed that if I kissed a guy it meant he was my boyfriend.

He held me tight and slid a hand up to my bicep and squeezed. “I would hope so.”

“Wait a minute; you want me to fall in love with you?” I lifted off his chest and looked hard into his eyes. They were so pretty.

“Of course, don’t you?” his face contorted into one of bafflement.

Mia is like WHU, and she points out that after Alec she’ll be with a different client, and he’s like, “Oh ya me too.” But Alec gets distracted and says they should have sex again before he can address Mia’s questions about what sense any of this makes.

He pulled me down to his chest then rolled us over so he was on top. With one leg he kicked out the good one of mine and pressed into my hips. His large erection rubbed enticingly along my moistening flesh. I took a deep breath trying not to let it get to me. It didn’t work.

I am really curious if people out there are like, “Yup. This is doing it for me. ‘Moistening flesh’ is one of the more nauseating descriptions I’ve heard in a long time.

He kissed me softly. “Let me make you understand, oui?”


“The French make love. I make love. I have to have some feeling for you in order to truly make love to you, oui?”

Oui oui oui, go on.

He started talking again. “Therefore, I must love you a little to want to be with you in such a way. Yet, I can still love you and set you free. But you will always carry my love with you when you go, and forever. That piece of my love is yours for as long as you live.”

This guy, this whole situation, just reeks of bullshit to me. Everything with him is so scripted – like when he gave a list of all his chores and mentioned sex with Mia in the list. And now he’s like, “First I will make love to you once, oui? Then I will make love to you twice, oui? And each time, oui, I will fall in love with you a bit more because that’s how this works, oui? And then I will set you free and you’ll always have my hot sexy French love with you, oui?”

Gotta admit, that was pretty beautiful. The way he thought of having sex and making love, how it tied to the woman and the relationship he had with each of them.

“So, we’re going to love one another forever, only we’re not committing to one another in the way a married couple or even a boyfriend and girlfriend do,” I confirmed.

“Oui. Exactly, ma jolie! You’ve got it. My commitment to you is to love you wholly for our time, and that will stay with you. And I will take your love with me. Then forever, we will both know that this time was built on trust, love, and friendship.” He paused then kissed me softly. “Nothing more in life is needed.”

I’m still not on board with this dude, but it’s mostly because I still think he’s super creepy.

Then he asks permission to love her now, and Mia fucking cries and says yes???? Oh my lord, what?

Sawyer from Lost says 'yeah, whatever'

Mia reflects on how inspired she is by this beautiful sentiment, and decides that she’ll let herself feel this kind of connection with each client. So I guess Mia and the reader are meant to assume each guy will be sexy in his own unique way, oui?

Mia also reminds us that Wes is different and she loves him. She probably means she loves him differently than Alec or her future sexy clients. I really am curious if he’s end-game or not. Or if the true love story will be between Mia and herself.

Later, Mia wakes up and goes to find Alec:

“I don’t need much sleep. Once I was inspired by your body, I had to paint it.”

“Are you saying, we had sex and you were so taken by the experience you came down here and painted this?”

“Oui. Your naked body. Making love to you gave me all the energy I needed to create this beautiful image for the world to see. Now you can see, oui?”

Guys…I don’t want to startle you, but did you realize this whole time Alec was French? I can’t believe i only just realized it now when he said oui for the 600th time.

Mia stares at another amazing work of art Alec is making of her, and she begins to weep from its beauty as she learns to love herself. The power of art astounds us all! Then Alec makes Mia kiss the paintings some more like she did last time. What a metaphor, what an artist.

Alec asks Mia what each painting makes her feels. The one called “No Love for Me” makes her sad, but the one with the kisses makes her feel hope and love. She should really be the one paying Alec for his art therapy – couldn’t he have just hired anyone to paint?

The end of the chapter has Alec dramatically reveal that this work is called ““To Love Thyself.” Which is not heavy-handed at all and completely beautiful and romantic and realistic, thank you very much.



  1. Jennifer Layton Reply

    “Making love to you gave me all the energy I needed to create this beautiful — ” OK stop, stop right there. Don’t guys just conk out after sex? Am I dating the wrong guys?

    • Sue W Reply

      I dunno – most guys I’ve known want to get up and eat lunch or something. I’m the one who conks out. 😀

      • 22aer22 Reply

        I feel like it depends, if it’s late at night and you were going to go to bed anyway…but if it’s right before dinner it’s like TIME FOR FOOD NOW! Very situational.

  2. Andreas Reply

    Apparently Calender Girl may be getting turned into a TV series. I think this will be the perfect chance to visually express Alecs frenchness by him constantly wearing clothes looking like le tricolore, carrying le baguette around everywhere and maybe even having little replicas of la Tour Eiffel randomly strewn around, oui?

      • 22aer22 Post authorReply

        I don’t even know how this will looks as a series. Will each ‘month’ be a season with the goal of this lasting like 12 seasons, or will 2 guys be smooshed into one? Given it would probably not be on network tv, I’m guessing there would only be like 10-12 eps in a season, which just isn’t enough time for a dream boat like Alec to be done justice.

        And OUI!!!! If this does become a show somehow, from the bottom of my heart I hope that’s how they portray him.

  3. wordswithhannah Reply

    “Are you saying, we had sex and you were so taken by the experience you came down here and painted this?”

    Please, authors, I am begging you: trust that your audience has at least two brain cells to rub together and can figure out your GENIUS SUBTEXT all on their own and don’t actually require you to explain it to them in painstaking detail.


    [Are you saying that I used the emphasis of italics to drive home the earnestness of my plea? Oui, oui!]


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    • 22aer22 Post authorReply

      If we’re being generous, I guess it could be in there more because Mia is just so stunned that he could have been so inspired by sex with her that he painted something soooo amazing, but since I have no idea who Mia is actually supposed to be as a character, it’s unclear.


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