Calendar Girl (April) Chapter 3: Can You Guess Where the Almond Smell is Coming From?

glasses and pontytail not another teen movie

Calendar Girl (April) Chapter 3:

Mia is really getting a kick out of pretending to be Mason’s girlfriend. She’s loving the baseball games and the partying, and this generally seems like the absolute best $100,000 ever earned.

She’s also being very mature about the Wes situation. She’s not shoving her feelings aside, but understands that she can’t fault him for hooking up with someone else given their circumstances. They text a bit, but none of it is very exciting and certainly doesn’t cover any new ground.

Mia, Mason and Rachel prepare for his big day meeting with sponsors. It’s always good business practice to bring your new beau to meetings with you to prove what a serious guy you are. This was a very astute move on Mason and his PR team’s part.

Mia tries to play matchmaker and tell Mason that Rachel is gonna think he’s so sexy in his suit, but he’s not buying it. Even though Rachel shows up two seconds later and is obviously super into him! Mia sure has her work cut out for her in this book.

Rachel doesn’t approve of Mia’s outfit, but Mason is like, “My compliments to the chef!”

“Hey, you look perfect. Sexy as hell. The media has seen you in jeans and t-shirts all week. Now it’s time to see you looking posh and young. Exactly how I like my women. Besides, do you think the big wigs would think I’d be with some stuck up professional with a stick up her ass?”

Think about how Mason has been portrayed thus far. Do you believe for one second he would say, “posh and young”? This sounds like something a grandmother would say. Especially since there isn’t anything non-young about jeans and t-shirts specifically. Especially since I just do not see Mason saying “posh” in any context.

But damn if he doesn’t have a point about big wigs being really shrewd when it comes to what kind of women a potential business partner might be dating. They would see through this ruse faster than you can say, “Why is Mia at this meeting? Seriously, someone explain.”

I kissed Mason’s cheek then wiped away the lipstick left on his clean-shaven jaw. “Speaking of sexy, doesn’t Rachel look hot in her suit?” I gestured with a head tilt in Rachel’s direction.

Mason’s lip curled up at each corner showing those drop dead sexy dimples. “I’d do her,” were the stupid words that came out of his mouth. You could take the player out of Boston but you couldn’t take the player out of the man. At this, I punched his arm.

“How many conversations have we had about you being a jack-ass?” I put up both hands and marked off each finger.

But it seems like actually they’re best friends now and Mia doesn’t really mind his misogynistic antics? We are only 3 chapters into this, when did this transformation take place?

we learn we grow gif

Anyway, Rachel hits it out of the park (see, I can make baseball jokes too) at the meetings.

Rachel, however, spoke her mind and made it very clear why she could afford perfectly tailored suits and whatever fee Mason was paying her.

She could afford the fee Mason was paying her? That’s good news, I was worried.

Anyway, everything goes fantastically, so Mason suggests they have a pizza party back at his suite. Things could not possibly get out of control at a pizza party! Kids have those!

Beers, boys, pizza…um yeah. “Hell yeah!” I said. “Come on Rach, you gotta celebrate, let your hair down.”

Mason’s eyes went to Rachel’s golden hair. “Now that’s something I’ve never seen.” His hand came up to her ponytail and spun it around his hand into a fist and let it go. “Would love to see this fuckin’ gold down, curled around your face. So pretty,”

In this case, I can envision anyone saying these words. If you try applying this to different hair colors, it only increases the weirdness. Quick, pretend someone attractive and blonde is in front of you. Now imagine, WITH A COMPLETELY STRAIGHT FACE AND NO HINT OF IRONY, that you refer to their hair as gold and are really specific about it curling around their face. Doesn’t it feel incorrect? It sure did for me.

It only gets weirder.

he leaned close to her ear and this time my eyes went wide. She looked positively ready to drop to the floor either in surprise or fear. Could be a little of both. Mason sniffed against the space near her ear. “Christ, you smell good. That’s the fuckin’ almond smell I can’t place. It’s you. It’s always been you. Smells so good I could eat it.” He growled into her neck and inhaled loudly before pulling away. He looked at Rachel like a hungry lion before a juicy steak.

Rachel has worked for him for years. This means that for years he has been living with the haunting mystery of where the almond smell is coming from. Mason has frequently wondered, “What is this almond smell?? I CAN’T PLACE IT!”

But even worse than the fact that this is one of the least exciting mysteries of all time is that he couldn’t put two and two together? “Rachel walks in the room…almond smell…she walks out…shit I feel like I’m on the cusp of something here.” You mean to tell me he’s never been close enough to smell her before?

I feel like this should have been played up more in the past two chapters, like if Mason was peppering his conversations with mentions of the almond smell he couldn’t pinpoint. This reveal would have packed quite the punch.

I’ll move on in this post, but just know I haven’t moved on in my heart from this almond smell nonsense.

At the party later, Mia again starts judging a lot of the women around her. Not the ones she deems appropriately dressed, but the hos who are clearly just trying to hook up with a baseball player! She says they’re all groupies, though, so I don’t understand why she’s so down on the ones who aren’t wearing jeans.

Anyway, Rachel and Mia go off on their own to get drunk, and Mia continues to try to play matchmaker. Thats when Mia makes a shocking discovery:

Getting up on my knees, I got behind her and pulled out her ponytail. Her long golden locks framed around her face perfectly, adding to her beauty. “Wow. You’re fucking hot!”

glasses and pontytail not another teen movie

This is absolutely just the scene from Not Another Teen Movie where Janie’s makeover consists of someone removing her glasses and her ponytail. Here’s proof:

Despite her complaints of all the hos at the party, Mia sexes up Rachel’s outfit and tells her that she’s going after Mason tonight!

I had a mission and even though it was a stupid one, I was convinced it would work.

Boy was I wrong.

Uh oh.

2+
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4 comments

  1. Dana

    Did anybody else think of that big mystery novel trope where the sudden smell of almonds basically always signifies death?

    Fuck it, I hope that was intentional on the author’s part and she is in fact foreshadowing Mason’s untimely demise. That’s really the only way this book would have a genuinely happy ending.

    9+
  2. Jennifer Layton

    Mason comes across as kind of threatening. Maybe I’m still recovering from our House of Night discussion yesterday.

    4+
  3. Judy F.

    It reminded me of Edward smelling Bella’s blood in Twilight, I thought we had crossed over to another vampire novel 🙂

    4+
  4. Madeline

    I would have preferred that the almond smell meant cynaide. Because it’s likely that someone’s trying to kill this weird, hairsmelling jackass.

    1+

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