Calendar Girl (April) Chapter 9: Find Out Who Mia’s Next Client is

i have no idea what's happening

Calendar Girl (April) Chapter 9:

We pick up right where we left off, with the immediate aftermath of Rachel discovering Mason and Mia in bed together. Mason is so ashamed of himself until Mia points out that they didn’t actually have sex and that this is a last-ditch effort to add some zing to this story.

He pushed his thumbs into his temples, his big hand spreading wide. “I remember fondling your tits and asking to fuck them.” He groaned and looked at me guiltily.

“Well, don’t tell her that part. That was just stupid drunk behavior and no one else saw it. Harmless.”

Though I’m sure everyone’s idea of harmless is a sliding scale, I would personally prefer it if my SO didn’t engage in that kind of behavior. From what we’ve seen of Rachel so far, I can’t imagine her reaction would be, “Oh you were just fondling Mia’s tits and trying unsuccessfully to convince her to let you fuck them? My bad!”

Mia determines that the only way for Mason to get out of this jam is to tell Rachel he loves her. She tries to get Rachel to talk to her, but no dice. The clock is running out, and there’s only two days left until Mia leaves!

There’s actually a pretty compassionate moment from Mia during all of this:

Even though Rachel said some pretty hurtful things to me, I could understand why she said them. When you’re faced with losing everything you’ve ever wanted, you lash out. It’s normal and the brunette in bed with your boyfriend is a pretty good target. I deserved whatever and more of what she had to say. Though I didn’t like that she believed I was a whore. It was something I, too, struggled with as an escort. One who had sex with her first two clients. Of course, I didn’t with the last two, but she thought differently.
This is one of the few times Mia’s inner conflict, and the fact that she’s a decent person, has shone through without it being spelled out to us or immediately contradicted. Of course Rachel’s words stung because they’re the same things Mia has been concerned about (some of the time.)
Aunt Millie calls Mia just in time to tell Mia she should be sleeping with all her clients.
“Honey, you’re young, gorgeous, and an escort for incredibly rich, good looking men. Yes, of course, I think you’re going to get some of that. If I were in your shoes, I most certainly would. In the past, I definitely had my share of beautiful rich men.”
Are there really no unattractive rich men who hire these escorts? You have got to be seriously shitting me here. What a world these people live in.

Aunt Millie then gives a Mia a back-in-my-day speech about how when she was working as an escort, it was expected she sleep with her clients and she didn’t get a bonus like Mia. WHAT IS THE LESSON HERE?

She also tells Mia a cautionary tale about how she fell in love with a client once and he screwed her over. There are no more details than that given, but somehow this convinces Mia that she needs to put walls up again with Wes. So I guess that was the lesson?
Then Mia finds out her next client is in Hawaii and wants her to model swimsuits for him. We finally get some answers about whether someone has finally noticed that Mia appears every month with a new famous dude.
“…His name is Angel D’Amico. He wanted you because he’s followed you in the smut mags. Seen that you’re getting attention and making the rounds with some pretty big names…”
Surely he can’t be the only person to put two and two together here, right?
They talk about how he’s designing bathing suits for curvy women, and Mia is very excited. I wonder if she’ll again learn how to love herself in the next book even though she’s never seemed at all concerned about her body.
“…But the good news, the designer is a fifty year old Italian. Married to an ex-model named Rosa who works with the girls. And you’re not going to be on point every second. You’ll work a standard day or two modeling then have most the week off. I know they have around one to two shoots per week planned. The rest of the time will be yours. Even confirmed that you’ll be staying in a rented two bedroom bungalow right on the beach.”

“My own place? I don’t have to stay with them?”

“Nope and they won’t be providing you with clothing. That’s the tradeoff. Since you will only be shooting ads and maybe attending a couple parties with the couple you’ll have most of the time to yourself so you’ll wear what you want. You get to keep the bathing suits though.” Sweet!

i have no idea what's happening
Wait, why are they hiring her as an escort then and not just as a model at some point? This makes no sense. Surely there are wiser financial decisions to be made here.
I just realized Mia is probably going to have to solve some sort of marital problems between these people, and given Mia’s track record she’s probably just going to try to convince them to have or adopt a baby.
A month in Hawaii. My life just got a hundred times better. “Think I could bring Gin and Maddy?” From the extra twenty from Wes and Alec, I had enough saved to be able to pay their way. They could stay with me, so really we just needed plane tickets and food.

“As long as you make your shoot days, you can do whatever you want. Should I book them some tickets?”

What the fuck? Again, surely there are wiser financial decisions to be made here! Her father is still in a coma! She does mention she has to check about Maddy’s spring break and whether Gin can get off work, but of course they’re going to be able to come. Although, it definitely won’t make any sense if they’re there the whole month.
Mia then gets another call because that’s apparently this whole chapter. It’s the hospital! Mason is in the ER because he was in a small car accident, but he’s actually fine! Oh, so that’s how he and Rachel are going to reconcile. How original. It won’t matter that the hospital is set to release him in a couple hours, this will be the wakeup call Rachel needs to remember life is too short.
Mia then calls Mason’s brother whatshisface because seriously all the action is just phone calls this chapter. She tells the brother everything, and he’s like, “Oh my god! Hey! Rachel’s here drinking right now at my bar!”
Mia rushes over and tells Rachel Mason loves her as Rachel drunkenly says how perfect Mia is and complains about how she’ll never be good enough for guys. But Mia cuts her off and reveals Mason is in the hospital AND HE NEEDS RACHEL! Whew, it’s a good thing he ended up in the hospital at this convenient time.


  1. Cara Reply

    The next book’s setup makes NO SENSE. When it said she’d be modeling, my first thought was, “Then why are they hiring an escort and not a model?” But then, naively, I thought maybe I was reading it wrong and they wanted a live-in model, like a walking dress form. Maybe they need an escort because they want someone to be there 24/7, whenever the designer needs to fit something on a person, and models don’t work like that (maybe). BUT that’s not even what they’re doing! They’re literally hiring an escort, through an escort service, to do photoshoots. Why?? And why is Mia wasting money when the whole premise of this series is that she needs money?!?

  2. Mara Reply

    These books started ridiculous, but that next premise is something else. If Logic already has to stretch so far to accommodate the plot, what on earth will the story’s reality look like by the end of this mess? I’m almost scared to speculate.

  3. matthewjulius Reply

    I just don’t believe for a second that the only people paying for these escorts are young, handsome, heart-of-gold types and not, like, the entire Trump cabinet.

  4. Pip Reply

    Guys if this is the true face of escorting, being surrounded by beautiful, caring rich men,and not sleazy perverts who just want a Fleshlight that they can take out in public, then sign me right up.

    • 22aer22 Post authorReply

      Yeah, I am on the wrong career path if this is reality. I mean, I’ll just have to hit the gym some more, but that’s an investment that will clearly pay off here!

  5. Erin Reply

    Every time I read one of these posts, it takes me like 10 minutes to figure out who everyone is again. THESE BOOKS MAKE NO SENSE!!!


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