Sunday, June 12, 2011
Another day has finally ticked over in the rapidly moving yet never-ending world of Darker.
They watch fireworks at the gala, so actually time hasn’t really moved forward all that much, the clock has just struck midnight. Lest we miss a single second of this riveting drama.
My parents have gone overboard for their guests, and it makes me feel a little less annoyed with them.
See, from everything we know about Christian, I would have thought he’d start bitching about how overboard his parents went. When I think he’s going to zig left, he zags right.
Ana says she’s tired and wants to head home. They say goodnight to Christian’s family:
Mia pouts because she’s not getting her way, but she doesn’t push it. “You must come by sometime next week. Maybe we can hit the mall?”
How old is Mia? Is this honestly something we’re supposed to believe is a pastime of hers? I know nothing about the lifestyles of the rich and the famous, but do they generally still bother hitting the mall?
Daily reminder that Christian hates condoms:
Dr. Greene will make a house call and that I have a surprise for her.
“Dr. Greene?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I hate condoms.”
“It’s my body,” she grumbles.
“It’s mine, too,” I whisper.
I KNOW I ALREADY SCREAMED ABOUT THIS IN THE ORIGINAL SERIES, BUT I WILL SCREAM ABOUT IT AGAIN! I hate this! I hate this so much! No it is not your fucking body too, Christian. And notice here how his stupid internal monologue disappears because apparently there is still no justification available for this terrible line. Nope. All we get is this:
Ana. Please. I. Hate. Them.
I can honestly say what I learned from Christian’s POV is the true extent to which he hates condoms. I will not walk away from these books with any questions or doubts about that.
One of the security guards brings a letter to Ana – oh! It’s from Elena. I don’t remember what Elena wrote to her, but I do remember her signing it as Mrs. Robinson. Ana is rightfully annoyed that Christian told Elena this.
Ana (too) quickly moves on from this, and naps in the car. I respect car naps, so I’m slightly more forgiving of how this is not addressed further. This gives Christian time to reflect on the wacky day they’ve had:
Yeah. It’s been quite a day. Ana and the check. Her bad temper. Her willfulness. The lipstick. The sex.
Yes. The sex.
We split the day into four fucking parts, and you mean to tell me that’s all we had to write?
When they arrive home, security informs them that Ana’s car has been vandalised. I only wish this would turn into an American Vandal style true crime parody.
Security is going to do a sweep of the apartment, and Christian decides to get in on the fun.
“No, Christian.” Ana tries to stop me, her fingers clasping my lapels. “You have to stay with me.”
“Do as you’re told, Anastasia. Wait here.”
It doesn’t even make sense why Christian isn’t letting the one thousand members of his security team deal with this. Again, this would have been a chance to give us some insight into this, but it’s just skipped over like it’s obvious why he’s partaking in the sweep of the apartment.
Everything looks okay, so they come back inside. Ana decides that this is a good time to share Elena’s note.
Anastasia, I may have misjudged you. And you have definitely misjudged me. Call me if you need to fill in any of the blanks— we could have lunch. Christian doesn’t want me talking to you, but I would be more than happy to help. Don’t get me wrong, I approve, believe me— but so help me, if you hurt him … He’s been hurt enough. Call me: (206) 279-6261.
Mrs. Robinson
Forgetting the rest of the content for a second–is that number real? If anyone in the US tries to call it, let me know what happens.
I know we found out in the end Elena’s intentions were bad, but I really can’t suss out what she was trying to achieve here, how she envisioned her lunch with Ana going. Christian is angry and baffled, and for once I’m with him. Although, he goes so far as to briefly suspect Elena and Leila are working together. Actually, that would have been pretty wild.
Christian puzzles over why Leila is so obsessed with him despite the fact she ended their relationship. This triggers a flashback about Leila:
“I have developed feelings for you. I had hoped you would collar me and that I would stay by your side forevermore.”
Collar? Forevermore? I think to myself. What’s this once-upon-a-time bullshit?
I did laugh at this (and I think I was meant to for once). I was thinking the exact same thing as Christian pretty much.
“I can’t. It’s not within me.” I’ve always been honest with her. This is nothing that she doesn’t know.
“It is within you, Sir. But maybe I’m not the person to make you realize it.” She sounds sad. She looks back down at her clean plate. “I’d like to terminate our relationship.”
Shockingly, Christian and Leila have a lovely breakup talk. Christian is kind, but honest about what he wants, and Leila respects that and decides it’s time to move on. This is the first time I felt a flashback served a purpose. It makes me feel bad for Leila, worried that she’s obviously going through something terrible to make her act this way when she comes across as rational in the flashback.
Christian is brooding in his study when Ana finds him and urges him to come to bed. After they notice the door to the balcony is open, Ana tells Christian she thought she saw someone standing by the bed. He’s of course furious with her. On the one hand, Ana should be on her toes because they know someone might be in the apartment. On the other hand, I get why she might think it’s just her mind playing tricks.
Christian insists they need to get out of the apartment. Ana thinks they shouldn’t run.
“Taylor knows and understands guns. He’ll be quicker with a gun than she is.” I hope.
“Ray was in the army. He taught me to shoot.”
“You, with a gun?” I scoff. I’m shocked. I loathe guns.
We’ve talked about guns a lot in this book, but suddenly he loathes them when Ana says she knows how to shoot one?
Christian and Ana go to a hotel for the night. Once there Christian patronisingly praises Ana.
“…After a day like today, or yesterday, rather, you’re not whining or running off into the hills screaming. I am in awe of you. You’re very strong.”
You’re not whining. Shut up, Christian.
Christian wants to lose himself in Ana. What a surprise. And of course she agrees.
“You make me forget everything. You are the best therapy.” I ease out of her again, and ease back inside her.
Oh god. Why do all the men in these books think that?
Christian realises he’s in love with Ana but can’t tell her yet.
See, I was kind of hoping the reason Christian hated condoms was because he had phimosis (where your foreskin is too tight) because that would a) give him an actual reason and b) mean he would be in constant pain whenever he was fucking, and this idea pleases me greatly. Hopefully he develops it, and suffers without Anna knowing for the rest of the books. A pretty karmic punishment, I think.
I just do not understand the condom thing, in terms of the Ideal Fantasy Man. Is it sexy that he hates condoms for no defined reason? It’s one of his main personality traits at this point so it must be important somehow.
Condoms killed his mother, clearly
““It’s my body,” she grumbles.
“It’s mine, too,” I whisper.”
please, tell me Christian Grey dies in the end
I like how he scoffs when she says she knows about guns. Because, as we all know, she is too stupid to have knowledge.