We’re down to the final two Hush, Hush posts! I have a question to ask you guys, Matt and I have been talking like we’re never going to touch the next books in this series, but I’m curious as to what you think. If you have other feelings about this (a different reason why we should or shouldn’t, or if you have book suggestions) click “other” and let us know what you think. We’ll probably have more polls like this looking for book suggestions, but I’m curious!
Take Our PollChapter 24
In case you forgot, Nora just touched Patch’s scars again and has teleported into one of his memories! Things could not be getting any more interesting. No, seriously, that’s about as interesting as this book gets.
The chapter begins with the most awkward description of a wet shirt I’ve ever heard. “I was on my back, my cami sponging up moisture beneath me.” Ya know writers out there reading this, sometimes it’s just okay to say, “my cami was wet.”
Nora looks around her only to find she is next to a skeleton. A human skeleton. She sits up and sees patch crouching on a headstone behind her. He’s wearing Levi’s. Why on earth are these books obsessed with Levi’s? Does Levi’s have some sort of subliminal ad campaign to get their product mentioned in fiction targeted at dumb women who don’t know better?
Then the Irish dude (Rixon) we met at Bo’s enters the scene. He starts talking about how Cheshvan (the time to possess humans or something) has just started. Rixon starts talking about the guy from the prologue, Chauncey, and how he’s giving the gift of life/feeling back to Patch. So I guess the agreement is that Patch can possess him for a bit?
Patch starts talking about The Book of Enoch which is apparently about a fallen angel who becomes human. OMG THIS IS DIFFERENT THAN TWILIGHT BECAUSE INSTEAD OF THE GIRL BECOMING A VAMPIRE THE ANGEL BECOMES A HUMAN!!!!
They keep going around in circles about whether or not Patch can do this, and then for some reason Rixon explains what possession means.
You’ve got to possess him. A process by which you take his body and use it as your own.
Thanks, Poindexter asshole.
They get into another homoerotic fight for no apparent reason, and Nora returns to the Now. So that more lame stuff can happen:
“You possess other people’s bodies…”
He accepted the statement with a nod.
“Do you want to possess my body?”
“I want to do a lot of things to your body, but that’s not one of them.”
Maybe he means that platonically?
Then Patch explains the difference between the body he has now and what he wants. “I can’t feel you. I experience everything through a sheet of glass, and the only way I can cut through that sheet is by possessing a human body.”
Things get even cheesier when Patch explains that he kisses Nora anyway, because he can feel her in his heart. He starts talking about the things ladies want like emotions and stuffs.
He explains when he fell he thought he’d just become human and not have to deal with all this other bullshit. Apparently, he was in love with a human. Nora doesn’t really react to any of the things I’ve just mentioned, but she does tell Patch that Dabria has been working at the school, and Patch decides to go look through her files (because that is everyone’s solution to everything in this book), and see what she’s up to!
I suppose the storm is done, because Patch goes to get the jeep? But I thought the engine was messed up? Lord, I’m lost.
Also, how in the fuck does Elliot fit into all this?
Chapter 25
Patch drives Nora back to her house, and he goes inside with her to make sure Dabria isn’t there. Hey, that just happened in Fifty Shades when Christian went in to see if his crazy ex was hiding in his house! What is it with these books?
Nora takes a whole paragraph to tell us about the clothes she puts on. Including Levi’s. I am TELLING you. There is a conspiracy.
This whole time Nora has been so worried her mom will be pissed, but it turns out she got trapped somewhere else too! Whew, our hero is safe from a good grounding. Then Nora tries to call Vee and reveals that all along she has been worried about Vee, though she hasn’t mentioned Vee for awhile now.
The invisible thread tying us together had been warning me for hours now that she was in danger. If anything, the feeling was heightening with each passing minute.
So Nora had the time to calmly describe putting on Levi’s but not that she was concerned about her best, albeit shitty, friend? I don’t buy this shizzy.
Then Dabria shows up saying she wants Patch. Then we find out she was the one who attacked Vee and implanted thoughts in Vee’s mind to make her think Patch was guilty. Brainception!
Dabria starts insisting Patch doesn’t care for Nora and just wants to kill her. I don’t know, ya’ll, I think he wants to bang her brains out and like cuddle. Dabria goes onto explain the reason Patch would want to kill Nora is that she’s a direct descendant of Chauncey and thus also has Nephil blood in her. Apparently, Patch has to sacrifice a female descendant of his vassal in order to become human. I’m gonna need a nap after this chapter, boy oh boy.
Dabria starts whining about how Patch picked a human over her while going all Fatal Attraction on Nora with a knife. Nora runs away while Dabria continues to cry about her boy problems. There is a chase scene. Nora kicks the knife out of Dabria’s hands BAM. Nora hides in a closet, calls the police, then waits until Patch comes to her rescue.
Patch tells Nora he’s going to take care of Dabria, and the chapter ends with Nora calling Vee’s mom and sort of alerting her to the fact that there’s a problem?
Chapter 26
At the suggestion of Vee’s mother, Nora goes to the movie theater to see if Vee is there. Nora ends up just watching a movie, and then Patch shows up and says they need to talk.
Apparently no one else can see Patch, though, and Nora just looks like an insane person. That would make for a better story, if Nora imagined all this shit. I say the same thing about Fifty Shades all the time too, though. Maybe I need to stop believing that shitty books can be saved by characters being insane. I know deep down it isn’t true.
Fitzpatrick is a master of making characters have these very long conversations that seem like they’re going to be revealing, but really just rehash information we already know. Patch just confirms that Nora is a descendent of Chauncey, that he doesn’t want to kill her. The only new thing is that Dabria wouldn’t be allowed back in heaven after trying to kill Nora, and Patch ripped her wings off.
Then Vee calls! She’s all, come hang out, and then Elliot gets on the phone, and is like, “If you don’t come hang out, I’ll murder Vee.”
I say let him murder Vee!
Chapter 27
The pacing in this book is just fucking terrible. 90% of the time nothing at all is happening, and then all the “action” takes place at the same time so it makes my brain hurt.
But the first half of this chapter is literally just Nora telling Patch about Elliot. Why not just write, “I told Patch what had been going on…”
Obstacle! Patch’s car tires have been slashes. So Nora runs into the theater, finds a guy from school she helped with a paper, and asks to borrow his car. If someone interrupted my movie to ask me to borrow my car, I’d straight up stab them in the face.
Oh, but then Patch gives him $300. Okay, I guess I’d probably agree then too! All’s well.
The chapter ends with them at the school. Hopefully Vee’s already dead.