By the time you have read this, I will have hopefully watched all the new Arrested Developments. Can. Not. Wait!
Chapter 19
Ray wakes up, and Ana is relieved her father is okay. This goes on for a few pages. That night at the hotel, Ana and Christian chill out, eat dinner and listen to some music.
In the background, Christian’s iPod is on shuffle and Dido is warbling on about white flags.
Is this a weird attack on Dido’s music? If so, I do not appreciate it. Then again this is coming from someone who has an entire blog dedicated to mocking books that in my opinion are very bad. I guess James is entitled to her own opinions as oddly expressed as they may be. Ana and Christian have yay-my-dad-is-not-in-a-coma-sex! Christian ties Ana up on a sofa. Christ, this series is so bold and daring! Ana even touches herself in front of Christian. I’ll let Ana explain, though.
“Again. I want to see you. See you enjoy your touch.” Oh fuck. I repeat the process. This is so . . . erotic.
After this round of sex, Ana says she wants to go again. Christian awkwardly mentions Ana’s dad in response.
I giggle and he chuckles. “I’m glad Ray’s conscious. Seems all your appetites are back,” he says, not disguising the smile in his voice.
Yes, it’s good her father is okay because now she’s ready for sex again! Whew, that was a close one, you guys. There’s a scene where Ana tries to convince Christian of how much she loves him and then she tells us like forty times how he’s her poor, sweet Fifty. It’s just another section of the book copy/pasted from earlier parts. Hmmm, here’s something that might be new? Christian tells Ana a detective from Seattle needs to talk to her about Hyde so he’s coming to her in Portland! But then the scene shifts to a really pointless one where Ray is cranky, but Ana is just happy he’s okay! It’s so pointless it just ends with Ana going to get him coffee. Even James wasn’t sure how to get out of that one. Ana leaves the room to find Christian alone in the waiting room.
“There’s no one here.” His voice is deliciously low, and I know he’s threatening to spank me. I am about to dare him, when a young couple enters the room. She is weeping softly.
I shrug apologetically at Christian, and he nods. He picks up his laptop, takes my hand, and leads me out of the room. “They need the privacy more than we do,” Christian murmurs. “We’ll have our fun later.”
Outside Taylor is waiting patiently. “Let’s all go get coffee and doughnuts.”
Don’t you hate it when you and your partner want to get frisky in a hospital waiting room and a couple walks in. Also, I love how the “she” refers to absolutely no one. I guess she’s part of the couple, or James was so fucking bored with all this she forgot her initial vision of the scene included two people, not just one. And was it Taylor that suggested they all get coffee and doughnuts? Only moments before Ana was going, and Christian insisted she take Taylor. It’s just such an awkward way to end this scene. Shit, now I want a doughnut.
Anywho, the detective shows up and apparently Hyde is turning everything around on Ana. He’s saying she’s the one who harassed him and such. What a douche. I’m not sure if we’re supposed to read this scene and even momentarily worry that Ana might actually be wrongly accused of something or that Hyde won’t get what’s coming to him. I definitely am not concerned.
Ana tells the real story of what happened. We find out that no one who used to work for Hyde will testify against him and that he apparently sent Christian some sort of note. Of course he hasn’t told Ana about the note. If she did that to him you can just imagine the rage he’d fly into! Fuck you, Christian.
We don’t hear more about a note after the detective leaves. Instead we jump to a new scene of Ana in Ray’s new room in a hospital in Seattle. She leaves, but before she can get very far her gyno shows up and says Ana’s missed a ton of appointments and might be pregnant. Two seconds later she tests Ana and yes, Ana is pregnant. Either nothing at all is happening in this book or SO MUCH in one page.
Ana’s like, “OMG how’d I let this happen?!” I dunno Ana, maybe you should keep track of these things.
I think “How could I possibly be pregnant?!?” and its variations need to go on the list of “Stupidest lines that could appear in an erotic novel”. Shit, Anna, wanna talk about the birds and the bees again? A hint: It’s not the spanking.
Gee, I didn’t see that coming. Impressed. If no one told me 50 shades was once a fanfic, this would be when I’d find out. Actually, no. “My very own Christian Grey-flavored popsicle”. That would be it.
it’s irritating na that ‘oh 50 50.. My lost boy’ crap and i had the audiobook.
you poor soul
I am sad to report that the new Arrested Development episodes are very hit and miss, though I understand some may disagree. Maybe we can get a Wednesday post with your thoughts. It’s still funny but maybe my hopes were too high…
I would totally be down for a wednesday post about the new arrested development if Ariel is. I have Opinions.
I’m still working my way through all of them (because I’m busy and also because they haven’t fully sucked me in the way they used to), but I could be down for this.
Did E.L.James do the math when she made Anas character pregnant? Ana says she is newly pregnant 4 or 5 weeks. She was on her honeymoon then. She could not have gotten pregnant because of missing her shot while going through some recent traumatic events because that was only over a 2 week period not even that long. Get the emails in Freed when she emails Kate on her honeymoon and check out the date when she finds out how far along she is. It doesn’t add up to her missing her shot. Sorry, but apparently looking at it in chronological order the shot did fail.
I love you. I wish there was a way I could put gifs in my comments and give you a standing ovation one <3