Look, you guys, as awful as I think Bared to You is, I just really want to finish the series. I want to know what happens, and I already know the characters and want to keep mocking them. Cary and his dickery alone is enough for me to want to keep going. If you don’t remember who Cary is, you need to go back and refresh yo memory and/or buy our Bared to You e-book when it comes out later this month.
Previously, everyone was an idiot.
Chapter 1
Currently, everyone continues to be an idiot. Eva opens this book telling us how kewl New York is and how there’s so much energy. Then she connects this (somehow) to Gideon just giving her two orgasms. Then she’s like,
My hair was still damp from a shower, and the towel wrapped around me was my only article of clothing. I had an hour and a half before I had to be at work, which was cutting it a little too close for comfort. Obviously, I was going to have to allot time in my morning routine for sex, otherwise I’d always be scrambling. Gideon woke up ready to conquer the world, and he liked to start that domination with me.
I guess it’s nice that for once Eva’s biggest worry seems to be scheduling sex into her morning routine. It sounds like she better get on that, because Gideon’s world domination is no joke, and if his penis is not satisfied, then what? THEN WHAT?
Eva spends awhile telling us what she’s wearing and how she’s doing her hair, then describing how Gideon looks while he’s on the phone, looking out his window at the city. Man, if the rest of the book is this riveting, we’re all in for a treat.
I should’ve become used to the change that came over him when he looked at me, but it still hit me with a force strong enough to rock me on my feet. That look conveyed how hard and deep he wanted to fuck me— which he did every chance he got— and it also afforded me a glimpse of his raw, unrelenting force of will.
Eva isn’t really in the mood for more sex, but she kind of is, but no she can’t! But then Gideon pins her against the wall, and then she can, but then they don’t because it’s time for coffee. Anyway, in between all those decisions she assures us that even when Gideon kind of acts rapey with her, it’s okay because he knows what she wants and he’s not like other men, or something.
“You know what happens when you run, angel.” Gideon nipped my lower lip with his teeth and then soothed the sting with the caress of his tongue. “I catch you.”
No seriously, it’s fine, you guys. They’ve been dating for less than a month, so obviously there’s no way he could be a creep. She would already know!
Gideon has to go away on business for the weekend, and he wants Eva to come, but she says she has to sort things out with Cary (remember he had that orgy in the living room? I bet he didn’t even wash the cushions after!) But then she realizes this,
Most couples didn’t spend every free moment together, but we weren’t like most people. We both had hang-ups, insecurities, and an addiction to each other that required regular contact to keep us functioning properly.
Are you fucking kidding me? All couples require regular contact in some form or another, and pretty much everyone has hang-ups and insecurities and an addiction to someone who they just started dating who they’re really into. Just skype for the weekend, dumbass.
They argue back and forth about this. Eva hates the idea of being apart, but she doesn’t want to give in and just go with him. From this we get a god damn Fifty Shades moment.
Gideon straightened , shrugging off his brooding sensuality and instantly capturing me with his severe intensity . So mercurial— like me.
I thought now that I was done with that series I wouldn’t have to read the word mercurial fifty shades thousand times. Why is being mercurial supposed to be so sexy? It means you rapidly change moods. Isn’t this profoundly unsexy and concerning? I mean I get that Eva is like this too and it could be interesting to see two troubled people help heal each other, but I just think it’s written so idiotically I can’t respect it.
Apparently Gideon is also just straight up nervous about leaving Eva behind because for some reason he thinks Nathan (the step-brother who sexually abused her when she was younger) might come after her…? I wish they would explain why this is a legitimate concern. Eva decides to go away with Cary for the weekend, and Gideon agrees on the condition that she stay at one of his hotels and take his plane, and if they go anywhere outside the hotel they have to go with security. Wait…I think I’ve read this all before.
At this point in the book I guess Day was worried their meeting had been too random, which isn’t romantic! Before Eva fell on her knees in front of Gideon – no, it was an accident you guys! There were no sexual undertones in that scene! – Gideon actually saw her from his car before she went into the office, but here, Day tells it so masterfully, I won’t deny you the pleasure of reading it yourselves:
“You stopped right next to the Bentley,” he went on, “and your head tilted back. You were looking up at the building and I pictured you on your knees, looking up at me that same way.”
The low growl in Gideon’s voice had me squirming in his lap. “What way?” I whispered, mesmerized by the fire in his eyes.
“With excitement. A little awe . . . a little intimidation.”
Why is it that you can’t find a decent guy who will just say, “When I first met you, I imagined you giving me a blow job.” Romance is seriously dead in real life, you guys. Where is MY Gideon Cross?
Take Our PollI’d looked into his eyes and realized how tightly reined he was, what a shadowed soul he had. I had seen power and hunger and control and demand. Somewhere inside me, I’d known he would take me over. It was a relief to know he’d felt the same upheaval over me.
Oh my god, what? No! This never happened! Footage not found! She thought he was hot, and when he first approached her, he was basically just trying to bang her no strings attached. You cannot go back and pretend like this was some sort of super romantic meeting! Fuck you, Day.
Because we need more drama, Eva makes a joke about how she’s not even his type because she’s blonde and he usually dates brunettes. This then leads to a tense moment about Corinne, Gideon’s former fiance. What a stupid way to re-introduce drama!
Magdalene Perez— one of Gideon’s friends who wished she were more— had said she’d kept her dark hair long to emulate Corinne. But I hadn’t grasped the complexity of that observation. My God . . . if it was true, Corinne had tremendous power over Gideon, way more than I could bear.
My God…What madness will come next? Perhaps Gideon will eat the same flavored ice-cream as Corinne. If her hair has this much power over him, I don’t know if he and Eva are going to be able to make it with her blonde hair in the picture.
They decide to talk this serious issue out in therapy later that night, but all becomes well quickly as they begin talking about how much they love each other again and how they’re going to have sex later. Whew, I was like, “Oh my God is this the end for them?” But then it was like, “Everything is okay so I can rest easy now!”
There’s not even a cliffhanger, it’s more like a sexhanger. Sex will be had later, but you don’t get to read it yet ;).