Dick Heaven: Reflected in You Chapter 4

Chapter 4

We open with Eva having a graphic nightmare about her step-brother Nathan sexually assaulting her. No jokes to be found here, folks, let’s move this along. Gideon wakes Eva up and comforts her. I guess there are more important things going on, though, because Cary shows up, causing Eva to grow concerned about…what Gideon is wearing.

I turned my head to find Cary standing in the threshold of my bathroom, his handsome face marred by a frown. He was fully dressed in loose jeans and a henley, which made me aware that Gideon was fully dressed, too.

I guess when people wake up from terrifying dreams about past traumatic events such as sexual assault, it’s common for them to immediately grow suspicious of their boyfriend and ask why he is wearing something different than he went to bed in. Detective Eva never rests, y’all, not even in dark times.

Turns out Cary and Gideon both just returned to the apartment. Gideon says he’s wearing different clothes because he had to go out and take care of some business. I hear Wendy’s is open till 2 a.m. or later so maybe that’s where he went? I mean, it’s only after midnight, and maybe he’s worried Eva will judge him given most of his worth rests in his perfect abs, which many a late night burger and shake can destroy.

Eva decides she needs another shower and quickly seizes this moment to remind us of how hot Gideon’s body:

Gideon turned on the water, then started stripping, blessedly distracting me with the sight of his gloriously tight body. His muscles were hard and well defined, his build lean yet powerful and elegant.

Like I said, his big secret is obviously that he’s become addicted to fast food. What’s Eva gonna do when he loses his gloriously tight body?

Gideon takes care of Eva, but then of course they can’t share a tender moment without his erection showing up and Eva being stupid about it:

He was already thick and hard between us, but he grew more so as I cuddled into him. “Eva . . .” He cleared his throat. “Let me finish, angel.”

I nipped his jaw with my teeth and reached down to grip his perfect ass, tugging him tighter against me . “Why don’t you get started instead?”

“That isn’t where this was headed.”

For once Gideon is the voice of reason, which is more of a twist than anything else this series has thrown at us thus far.

Instead, Gideon decides he should masturbate for Eva and inspire her to masturbate too because he’s worried she might freak out if they have sex too soon after her nightmare. Eva is thrilled. I am confused. More importantly, though, Day uses this moment to show off her hilarious sense of humor:

It was somehow as intimate as when he was inside me, maybe more so because we were wide open and on display. Totally bared. Our pleasure reflected in each other.

You guys. Do you not see how genius this is? The first book was called Bared to You and Day is all like, “totally bared (to you),” and THIS book is called Reflected in You. But you see, she didn’t write those exact words in these sentences, so it was like a subtle head nod to us the reader because we are aware of what the title of the books are! Because we are reading them! Usually even the most skilled authors can only work in one titular line into their story, but Day has managed two in one pace! Mind blown.

Gideon begins to tell Eva how to touch herself and also how sexy she is, which leads to this gold nugget:

Feel how tight you are? A hot, tight, plush little heaven for my dick.

Who talks that way? No seriously? Who could possibly think this is sexy. If someone said this to me, I’d be like, “As flattered as I am that you think my vagina is dick heaven. No, I’m sorry. A plush dick heaven. Anyway, as flattered as I am, YOU ARE DISGUSTING!”

This portion of the chapter finishes with…finishing.

His groans vibrated against me and he came violently, spurting repeatedly against my stomach.

Immediately following that romantic conclusion to Gideon helping Eva through her traumatic nightmare, we jump ahead to the next morning with Eva talking to Cary in the kitchen while Gideon is asleep. Cary makes good points about whether or not Gideon might always have secrets. He also says that the guy from the orgy whose nose Gideon broke wants to press charges. Luckily, he didn’t actually see who punched him, so Cary is covering for Gideon.

The only remotely interesting thing about this conversation is that Cary finally addressed the fact that his sexuality has been really confusing this whole time. It’s fine if he’s bi, but it would have been easier to just explain that right away. Anyway, he’d been dating this guy Trey, but cheating on him kind of put a damper on that relationship. Also, apparently Trey wants him to be straight up, 10000% gay and Cary isn’t. So instead, Cary is going to have uncomplicated sex with this blonde floozy who he cheated on Trey with. Now you know.

Their conversation ends with Cary agreeing to just let Eva and Gideon be even though he doesn’t fully approve. This is also how the chapter ends. I’m not really understanding what that conversation was supposed to accomplish as, again, it was like having the worst case of ADD ever in the history of ever. Man, I wish just one conversation in this book could focus on one topic for more than a sentence or two. Then again, I actually think a book like The Host is worse because it focuses on doing a chore for like thirty pages. IS THERE NO MIDDLE GROUND IN THESE BAD BOOKS?!?!