Eva Continues to Have Her Period: Entwined with You Chapter 15

Last week, the Russian mob showed up out of nowhere to serve as a convenient way to exclude Gideon as a suspect for Nathan’s murder. Gideon and Eva wonder who set all of this up to protect Gideon, I wonder if Sylvia Day drew this out of a hat, and if so, what might some of the other options have been.

Chapter 15

In case you’d forgotten, Eva has her period. Some of us speculated that maybe Day included this Very Important Detail as a way of reminding us that Eva isn’t pregnant, reminding us that Eva is just like the rest of us ladiez or even as an excuse to make her a little grumpier for a chapter.

But actually here’s the real reason this information is included:

Partly due to my period, we hadn’t had sex the night before. Instead, we had enjoyed the simple comfort of just being together. We’d curled up on my bed and watched television until the exhaustion of my overkill run on the treadmill pulled me under.

Because there’s literally no other excuse for not having sex, Eva’s period had to be mentioned and cited as the sole reason behind a sexless night for our heroes. Lest we all grow concerned over why Gideon and Eva simply spent a night watched television together, which is a true rarity for couples.

Eva continues the book’s everlasting warmup to whatever is masquerading as plot these days:

Sighing, I knew what had me on edge. It was Thursday and Brett was coming to New York, if he wasn’t in the city already.

I think at least 8 of the past chapters have reminded us that Eva is going to be meeting with Brett this week. It makes no sense because I feel like every chapter starts with Eva waking up for work, and yet no time ever actually seems to pass. [Matthew says: By this point, the Crossfire series reads like a ping-pong game, played with a dozen people, and every two minutes they all stop playing to bang each other.]

Eva frets that now is a terrible time for Brett to come back into her life since she and Gideon are just starting to get on track. Again, I’m getting serious deja vu. Aren’t these two always just starting to get on track/fall into a rhythm/work through their issues only for thins to stay exactly the same? [Matthew says: Exactly. Isn’t this exactly what the situation was the last time Brett was in town?]

The problem could be solved by Eva simply cancelling on Brett. That is a real thing that people do – just like having nights where they just sit around and watch television with their significant other! [Matthew says: Also a real thing people do: not hang out with their exes they’ve moved on from. Nothing is making you stay friends. As far as arbitrary ways to create conflict go, “I have to meet up with my ex” is the romance genre’s “the killer is somewhere in this abandoned building, let’s split up”.]

Eva, needing to see Gideon, heads next door.

Once I’d gone inside, I tossed my keys on the breakfast bar and headed down the hallway to the guest room. He wasn’t there and my heart sank, but I kept searching, because I could feel him. There was a tingling awareness I experienced only when he was nearby.

What if all of these mentions of Eva’s ability to “sense” when Gideon nearby is actually going to later be revealed as a supernatural ability to sense ghosts…and then we find out that Bruce Willis Gideon has been dead this whole time! Now that’s a plot I could get behind.

Alas, that’s not the case this chapter. Instead it’s time for Entwined with You to pay homage to Fifty Shades of Grey. 

“I want you and came prepared to have you, but it could be messy. I mean, it’s the tail end, so maybe not, but if period sex isn’t your thing—which I’d totally get, because it has never been my thing—”
“You’re my thing, angel. I’ll take you any way I can get you.”

No mention of any tampons being pulled out, but this was clearly a shoutout to our other favourite couple. I wish that Saturday Night Live or someone would do a sketch where Gideon and Eva meet Christian and Ana and both couples just absolutely hate each other and walk away saying things like, “Wow, that is the most unhealthy relationship I’ve ever seen!”

So now you must be thinking that it’s finally time to go to Brett’s fucking music video premiere because it’s been like five years already. But no. Now it’s time for more sex and mentions of Eva’s “greedy little cunt.” It’s also time for one of Geva’s oddly disjointed conversations that rapidly shift from attempts to be incredibly profound to crudely sexual in the space of a sentence.

“I’ll make you happy the rest of your life,” I promised him. My hips churned, desire sliding hot and thick through my veins. “There’s nothing I want more.”
Leaning forward, Gideon flicked the tip of his tongue over my nipple, a quick swipe that sent a sharp ache through my breast. “I love your tits. Did you know that?”

Their wedding vows are going to be incredible. “I will cherish you and your breasts forever and always. And period sex will always be on the table as long as it’s the tail end.”

Naturally, what follows this sex scene is a discussion about Gideon’s past traumas. BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT???

Laying my cheek against his chest, I listened to his heart pounding, his perspiration mingling with mine.
“Eva.” He exhaled harshly. “Those answers you want from me … I need you to ask the questions.” […]
“I am ready.” His gaze held mine, blazing with power and determination. “I need you to be ready. Because it won’t be long before I’m going to ask you a question, Eva. And I’m going to need you to give me the right answer.”

Eva, do you prefer Taco Bell or Chipotle? I need you to be honest, because there is only one right answer.

“Ask me, Eva,” he commanded.
“Gideon—”
“Now.”
Frustrated by his obstinacy, I stewed for a minute, then decided that whatever the reason, there were questions that needed answers no matter what. “Dr. Lucas. Do you know why he lied to your mother?”
His jaw worked as he clenched his teeth, his eyes turning hard and cold. “He was protecting his brother-in-law.”
“What?” I sat back, my thoughts spinning. “Anne’s brother? The woman you were sleeping with?”
“Fucking,” he corrected harshly. “Everyone in Anne’s family is in the mental health field. The whole fucked-up lot of them. She’s a shrink. Did any of your Google searches dig that up?”

God damn it, Cary, you had one job! [Matthew says: Now it’s like Cary has no purpose in this plot!] Someone needs to sit that man down and talk to him about his Google searching ability. This book was brought to you by Google by the way, with each purchase of a Crossfire book you get a $100 voucher for Adwords.

I’m not sure if it’s by accident or not, but Sylvia Day draws a pretty gross parallel between Gideon and Dr. Lucas:

“It wasn’t until I met you that I finally started to get it,” he said, his hands tightening around my waist. “He loves Anne. Maybe as much as I love you. Enough to overlook her cheating and cover up for her brother to spare her the truth. Or embarrassment.”

Murder/covering up pedophelia ~True Love~. I’m sure as she penned this scene, that’s not quite what she meant to do, but it’s really all I can see when I read this paragraph. Can these people justify anything simply be being like, “Well, I totally get why this person burned down the Comcast headquarters. I mean, they kept his girlfriend on the phone for like seven hours and charged her for services she never even received. If he loves her half as much as I love you, I mean, it was the only reasonable thing this guy could do!”

Gideon then reveals what happened to his abuser:

And the brother-in-law?” I asked. “What happened to him?”
Gideon’s chin lifted and his gaze narrowed. “The statute of limitations ran out for me, but I confronted him, told him if he ever went into practice or laid a hand on another child I’d set up an unlimited fund dedicated to prosecuting him civilly and criminally on behalf of his victims. Shortly after that, he killed himself.”

Apparently this man had a son, so Gideon feels really guilty because his own father had committed suicide in the past and knows what it feels like to be abandoned. I feel pretty terrible that Gideon feels responsible for some kid’s misery, but then Eva’s like, “Yeah, but maybe you saved this kid from getting molested!” And it’s really hard to formulate an opinion on this scene.

On the one hand, yeah, we were all thinking it. This guy was fucked to the up. But on the other hand, Gideon’s guilt is really understandable here, and to try to alleviate it by speculating on whether or not this guy would have sexually abused his child seems to just make a fucked up situation even more fucked up somehow. [Matthew says: This is like Minority Report, but if every mystery was resolved with “because sex”.]

Instead of focusing on this more, Gideon seems to use Eva’s sympathy as a way to guilt her into moving in with him. [Matthew says: Wait, aren’t they still putting up appearances that they’re not a couple? Is this even a subplot anymore?] Suddenly changing the topic to, “You’re holding back from me. Let’s move in together tomorrow.” I feel like the only way this conversation could get anymore tense is if they started arguing about the Israeli/Palestinian conflict.

The conversation ends with them discussing how first they need to essentially come out as a couple again to the public, because that’s clearly the most important thing to talk about right now. And it’s all gonna start at the prom Brett’s big video premiere that may or may not even fucking happen in this book.

The next day (see, time is allegedly passing), Eva goes to work, interacts with minor characters about things like getting lunch and big butts:

“Are you asking me out to lunch?”
“Please.” He clasped his hands together like he was praying. “You’re one of the few women I know who actually enjoys eating.” [I was going to make a joke here about really trying to convince us of Eva’s reliability while she lives in a 5 star apartment in New York that her rich stepfather pays for, but then I remembered how Ana was never eating and Christian had to force her to eat, and I’m actually sort of grateful to this book for how it treats Eva and eating. But also, shut the fuck up, Will. This is the most cliched/annoying/somewhat offensive thing men say about women. Just let us eat a plate of nachos in peace without pointing out how “different” we are than women who order a salad.]
“I’ve got the butt to show for it, too,” I said ruefully. “But sure. I’m game.”

After work, Eva runs into Brett and Cary:

Brett’s short-cropped hair was naturally dark blond, but he’d had the tips dyed platinum and the look was a good one for him, with his tanned skin and irises of a beautiful emerald green. On stage he was usually shirtless, but today he was dressed in black cargo pants and bloodred T-shirt, his arms covered in sleeves of tattoos that writhed over his muscles.

Honest to God, I thought Eva was going to follow this up with, “Wow, I can’t believe I ever liked this guy. Jesus Christ, I’m embarrassed.” Because that’s the obvious next line in this situation. Tips dyed platinum? You didn’t tell me he was in an N*SYNC tribute band!

Jesus, he was sexy as hell.

What? No! Eva! I’m sorry about those things I said about you and Gideon. Please, tell us more about what a panther/urban predator Gideon is. Anything but the platinum tips!!!

Brett tries to kiss Eva, and of course in that same moment she locks eyes with Gideon who is standing right behind Brett. OF COURSE BECAUSE OF COURSE. [Matthew says: I like how nothing even happened between the identical “Brett tries to kiss Eva” scene in this book and the last book; it just looped back around again. The Brett-Eva subplot is like ordering lobster, learning that you’re allergic to lobster, and then ordering lobster the next day. Brett is just always trying to kiss Eva, independent of any continuity in the fucking series.]

Okay, so my question of the week is, who here has/hasn’t tried Chipotle? If you have, what are your thoughts. If you haven’t, why haven’t you? Even though I’ve been really crappy at responding to comments lately, I swear I read them and love them all. I’ve just been apartment hunting, but now that that’s done, I’m back!