OMG WILL TOBIAS SHOOT TRIS THUS ENDING THEIR LOVE STORY AND THIS SERIES?!?!
Chapter 39
The shot doesn’t come. He stares at me with the same ferocity but doesn’t move. Why doesn’t he shoot me? His heart pounds against my palm, and my own heart lifts. He is Divergent. He can fight this simulation. Any simulation.
That is a really weirdly specific gene to have been gifted with. “Well, I wasn’t born with a high IQ or anything, but what I can tell you is that I could certainly break free of literally any simulation no matter how strong the serum!”
No better time than now for a teenage makeout sesh.
Something like a sob and a sigh and a moan escapes him, and he kisses me again.
What is it with these books and the strange noises they try to describe? Everyone is always letting out these complex noises that always seem to be a combination of sounds that are probably at odds with one another. Please try sobbing/moaning/sighing at the same time. The sigh just doesn’t work! [Matthew says: I tried it just now and it came out like a walrus noise? And then I remembered I’m in Grand Central Station.]
“How did you do it?” I say.
“I don’t know,” he says. “I just heard your voice.”
I’m not buying this moment. Right now the sound I’m making is something like barfing, laughing, whinnying, and singing opera to express just how little I believe in this moment.
Can we please talk about how Four is somehow an expert in computer programming, which I highly doubt is taught MORE in dystopian America than in today’s America. Is Insurgent just going to be about Four starting his own startup company that creates an App that’s basically Tinder but exclusive to each faction? I don’t even know what that would be called. This is why I’ll never be able to start my own company! [Matthew says: Instead of swiping left or right, you choose cheese or a knife! Nobody ever knows what they’re actually deciding.]
On one of the security cameras, Tris sees that Dauntless guards are surrounding her crew, but Four is able to stop the simulation in the knick of time, whew.
But maybe I spoke too soon!
“I have to get the data,” he says, “or they’ll just start the simulation again.”
What the ever loving fuck does that even mean? My day job is all about working with data, and this is complete nonsense. I hope Four is going to quickly access Google Analytics to find some serious patterns in the data! Otherwise, we’ll have to start from the top. [Matthew says: Does this book seriously not know the difference between a program and data? Because that is exactly what is happening?]
Really, it sounds like Four is downloading the evil code [Matthew says: data], and he does this in under a page, so it was clearly not very fucking difficult to do at all, which is even more unbelievable.
Tris reunites with her brother.
“Caleb runs to me when I walk through the doors, and I fall against him. He holds me tightly.
“Dad?” he says.
I just shake my head.
“Well,” he says, almost choking on the word, “he would have wanted it that way.”
He would have wanted it what way?
This line would have made sense if Tris had explained that her father died protecting her, but in this case it just sounds like he wanted to die.
The book ends fairly quietly. Four is reluctantly reunited with his father, who continues to continues to be described in the laziest way possible.
“Stay away,” I hiss.
“Beatrice, what are you doing?” asks Caleb.
“Tris,” Tobias says.
Marcus gives me a scandalized look that seems false to me—his eyes are too wide and his mouth is too open. If I could find a way to smack that look off his face, I would.
At this rate, Marcus could tell us his favourite flavour of ice-cream is chocolate, and Tris would be like, “I couldn’t believe a word he said about the ice-cream. His eye twitched just slightly as he told me.”
They start heading to Amity to find protection for the time being, and on the way Four tells Tris he loves her. The passionately make-out with Caleb sitting across from them, probably feeling deeply uncomfortable.
Are you guys excited for Insurgent? We’re starting it tomorrow, so I hope you are!
WAIT. IT’S OCTOBER. TELL ME YOU ARE READING “CHICKEN, CHICKEN”.
The shot doesn’t come. He stares at me with the same ferocity but doesn’t move. Why doesn’t he shoot me?
Note to leaders of resistance movements: You know your plan is really bad when it involves giving weapons to the enemy and then wondering why they haven’t used them yet.
OPPENHEIMER: Mr. Truman, we need to tell you, we created this bomb that can literally level an entire city –
TRUMAN: I got it! Let’s give it to Japan!
OPPENHEIMER: But wait, Sir, why would you –
TRUMAN: I’M THE FUCKING PRESIDENT YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING FACE.
[Later]
TRUMAN: Man, we are SO lucky Japan hasn’t used the bomb yet, or we’d really be screwed. Luckily, that gives us enough time to invade and take over while they’re distracted wondering what to do with the bomb! I told you my plan was brilliant!
Just to put this in larger perspective.
…Except it’s worse because Tris doesn’t even have a really dumb plan. She just straight up gives Four a gun for no reason then wonders why she hasn’t been shot. It is utterly nonsensical.
So Four can’t shoot Tris because tru luv? And then they mosey on off into the sunset? Who didn’t see that coming?
I’ve been wondering something…if Divergent folks are so dangerous to society, why aren’t they killed or put in jail or something? Why let them run around and be a potential wrench in the works? The Man knows who they are, so it wouldn’t be all that hard.
Also, I picture Caleb sitting there with his hands over his ears going “La la la can’t hear you.” Not the time, Fris.
““Dad?” he says.”
I just shake my head.
““Well,” he says, almost choking on the word, “he would have wanted it that way.””
Somehow I doubt that, Caleb.
I feel like this conclusion was sort of rushed and just came out of nowhere. The title of this post even says it’s the final chapter of the book, and yet I was still thrown by it ending all of a sudden.
Anyway, guess what! I have my first college exams today, including precalculus! Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up and die! Yay!
Good Luck Dana!!
More fun!
A guy comes in to rob your house. You pull a shotgun on him.
“Oh, shit! A shotgun!” He turns to run.
“No, wait,” you say. And, with your children in the house with you, you hand him the gun.
Then you think to yourself, “I don’t get it. I gave him a gun. Why hasn’t he shot anybody yet?”
And that is literally what Tris just did.