On the days we write about Allegiant, our readership just plummets. All you people want is Grey!

Allegiant Chapter 45: Tris

Caleb is examining serums because when it comes down to it, isn’t this whole series just about serums of one sort or another? Tris reminds us it’s the last day of his life, so I’m going to remind you guys that it’s supposed to be the last day of his life because I’m a responsible blogger.

Right now Cara is spending some time with the people in the control room so she can spike their beverages with peace serum and shut off the lights in the compound while they’re too drunk to notice, just like Nita and Tobias did a few weeks ago.

Fuck’s sake…is the peace serum the one that made Tris really loopy at the Amity compound? I can’t keep these serums straight. And would these people really be so drunk (off the peace serum?) that they don’t notice when they’re suddenly engulfed in darkness?

Tris asks Matthew to leave her and Caleb alone, which is hilarious because this implies Matthew’s presence is actually worth noting. Caleb reminisces about when they used to play ‘Candor’ together:

“I keep thinking about when we were young and we played ‘Candor,’” he says. “How I used to sit you down in a chair in the living room and ask you questions? Remember?”

“Yes,” I say. I lean my hips into the lab table. “You used to find the pulse in my wrist and tell me that if I lied, you would be able to tell, because the Candor can always tell when other people are lying. It wasn’t very nice.”

Abnegation is literally so terrible even the children’s’ games are boring and awful. Do you think they were also playing ‘Amity’ and just discussing how to properly grow wheat and generally being very pleasant to one another?

Caleb laughs. “That one time, you confessed to stealing a book from the school library just as Mom came home—”

“And I had to go to the librarian and apologize!” I laugh too. “That librarian was awful. She always called everyone ‘young lady’ or ‘young man.’”

“Oh, she loved me, though. Did you know that when I was a library volunteer and was supposed to be shelving books during my lunch hour, I was really just standing in the aisles and reading? She caught me a few times and never said anything about it.”

Tris is surprised she never knew this about Caleb, and they agree it’s a shame they weren’t more honest with each other. So they decide to play Candor now, which is just them being honest with each other.

Tris admits that she wants to forgive him/thinks she does and isn’t sure if it’s only because he’s volunteered to die, and Caleb says he’s volunteered to die to redeem himself…which I thought we already were clear on?

Suddenly, an emergency lockdown, uh oh! This means the plan might have to be put into action quicker than planned. Which leads to some foreshadowing:

I cross the room and retrieve our guns from the counter, but itching at the back of my mind is what Tobias said yesterday—that the Abnegation say you should only let someone sacrifice himself for you if it’s the ultimate way for them to show they love you.

And for Caleb, that’s not what this is.

Well, it’s a good thing the factions are completely meaningless, I guess.

Allegiant Chapter 46: Tobias

Tobias confronts Peter about the fact that he didn’t inoculate himself from the truth serum. Tobias says he knows Peter wants the memory serum and that he wants to know why. For some reason, Peter would rather fight Tobias for it. Just why? But that’s basically my only reaction to the book at this point.

Oh, wait, the ‘why’ is just because it leads to a ~dramatic~ revelation that comes as about as much of a surprise as the fact that Caleb volunteered for the suicide mission out of guilt: 

“You are not special,” I say. “I like to hurt people too. I can make the cruelest choice. The difference is, sometimes I don’t, and you always do, and that makes you evil.”

I step over him and start down Michigan Avenue again. But before I take more than a few steps, I hear his voice.

“That’s why I want it,” he says, his voice shaking.”

[…]

“I want the serum because I’m sick of being this way,” he says. “I’m sick of doing bad things and liking it and then wondering what’s wrong with me. I want it to be over. I want to start again.”

YOU MEAN THE BAD CHARACTER THAT SUDDENLY STOPPED BEING BAD BUT WAS STILL MEANT TO BE A JERK WANTS TO FORGET BEING BAD?????? This is crazier than the time the guilty character wanted to do something noble to redeem himself!

This to me reeks of bullshit. Peter’s memories being taken away won’t change *him*, and if he’s aware enough of all of this, I have trouble believing he still enjoys being bad. He’s basically stopped being bad since they took him out of Chicago, so what the fuck is he on about at this point?

Tobias agrees to let Peter “reset” himself and they continue onwards to find Tobias’ mother.