Grey: Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The chapter again opens with another of Christian’s nightmares, which seem to be progressing in such a logical sequence as is customary for nightmares. This nightmare is about a man who shouts at and hits Christian and his mother. The man and Christian’s mother leave the house, and Christian hides in the closet wondering where his mother is.

As usual, Christian is perturbed by his nightmare, and decides to go for a run to shake it off. This has already happened so many times that I had to check to make sure I was reading the right chapter.

Anyway, Ana texts Christian to let him know she has safely arrived in Georgia. Can you imagine if EL James had played us all for fools here and revealed that actually Ana died in a tragic plane crash and all of Fifty Shades of Grey took place in the mind of a Christian who had truly snapped? That would have been amazing!

Alas, though, Christian just sees that one of Ana’s emails has only just come through to him. It’s a very well-written, self-aware email, which explains some of Ana’s complicated feelings. I would paraphrase, except it’s the same complicated emotions she’s been dealing with not only for this book but in the other three books we already read. We get it, she’s not sure about being a submissive.

After going for his usual Run of Contemplation and Complex Emotions, Christian returns home and composes his email to Ana. Even though in her email she explained that she has trouble communicating with him in person because he “dazzles” her so much, he asks her why she struggles to communicate with him in person. Dude, she JUST EXPLAINED THAT YOU FLUSTER HER, not to mention you’re so dominating you probably wouldn’t let her get more than a couple sentences out without cutting her off and telling her how she feels.

I completely understand that James has to include the same emails as the other books, because “important” things do get said in those emails. However, the thing that I don’t understand is why she didn’t take the opportunity to at all make Christian’s point of view interesting, to add something to these scenes. She had this second chance, and all she does is give Christian reactions like, “I’m glad she’s eating.” “Good point, Miss Steele.” These are moments where he could feasibly be discussing his previous relationships whether it’s with Elena or Leila. Whenever these relationships come up, they’re glossed over quickly, right when it’s starting to touch on something even remotely interesting. I know, I know my expectations are way too high considering the crap we saw in the first three books, but, you know, dream big or go home?

Once Christian sends his email off to Ana, he “stomp[s] into the kitchen to see what Gail has prepared for breakfast.” Given his email was mostly a comforting, fairly thoughtful response to what Ana had written and didn’t convey any anger (for once), it seemed really weird to me that he stomped into the kitchen. Maybe it was more of a CHRISTIAN GREY WANT FOOD situation than a direct reaction to his email exchange with Ana.

Christian and Elena agree to meet for dinner, and Elena says Christian’s being so coy about the new woman in his life. Here’s Christian’s very Christian reaction:

Why are the women in my life so nosy? Elena. My mother. Ana…I wonder for the hundredth time what she’s doing.

Oh, but Christian’s not nosy, he’s just concerned for her safety! No hypocrisy to see here, people, move along.

EL James quickly runs out of things to write about, so she resumes copy/pasting email exchanges in, with new additions like “her reply pings into my inbox”  and “I find myself drumming my fingers, waiting for her reply.” Riveting shit! They flirt a bit and Christian gets an erection which is par for the course. Although, His cock doesn’t directly comment on this. The location of Christian’s inner cock is currently unknown.

Christian prepares to leave for dinner with Elena and flirts with Ana some more. So this is where that “I’m glad she’s eating…” comment happens, and Christian is shocked to learn that Ana has trouble eating around him. He acts like this is really quite a shock, but it’s so normal when you’re really into someone to have so many butterflies it’s hard to eat. Then again I really shouldn’t be surprised Christian doesn’t know that since he’s never known love b4 <3.

Dinner with Elena is slightly more interesting, but the bar is so low given 85% of this chapter was the same emails from the previous book, 5% was Christian’s lame reactions or anticipation over Ana’s next email arriving, and 5% was his interactions with his staff members. Seriously, at one point it’s just him telling someone what he wants in his coffee!

Elena, who is supposed to be super elegant and polished I think, says this, “Christian. This girl. Spill the beans.”

But Christian’s beans are not so easily spilled. He does open up a bit about Ana and explains that she’s in Georgia thinking things over, and Elena encourages him to go to Ana. Even though it’s dubious advice, during this whole scene I get the sense that Elena is being genuinely nice and supportive. At one point she admonishes him for being too negative about himself, which is really interesting because Christian tells Ana the exact same thing. It’s like the one interesting parallel I have seen in these books between Christian and Ana.

I really wish Elena’s storyline hadn’t gone down the cliche route in later books. i know we’re supposed to see her as this horrible villain, but I always got the impression she was obviously a flawed human being that made bad choices, but that she actually was really encouraging about Christian’s relationship to Ana and not an overall evil bitch.

The chapter ends with Christian getting Ana’s email where she asks if he was at dinner with Elena, and he’s like, ‘Whelp. This has to be answered in person, so guess I’m going to Georgia!” Except that question absolutely did not have to be answered in person. It is very easy to type, “yes.”

Where do you think Christian’s inner cock is? I’m starting to worry.