Well, the votes are in, and for some reason more of you voted for Grey. That means we’re stuck with yet another super long chapter of doom. To preserve our sanity, Matt and I have combined forces to tackle this week’s Grey.

Grey: Thursday, June 2, 2011

Ana is talking in her sleep, and despite realizing this fact multiple times, Christian keeps responding to Ana.

“No. Please. Don’t leave me.”

What? It’s Ana. “I’m not going anywhere,” I mutter, bemused. Turning, I prop myself up on my elbow. She’s huddled beside me and she looks like she’s asleep.

“I won’t leave you,” she mumbles.

My scalp prickles. “I’m very glad to hear that.”

She sighs.

“Ana?” I whisper. But she doesn’t react. Her eyes are closed. She’s fast asleep. She must be dreaming… what is she dreaming about?

“Christian,” she says.

“Yes,” I respond automatically. But she says nothing; she’s definitely asleep, but I’ve never heard her talk in her sleep before.

Totally fine he responded automatically, but I love that immediately after this he re-re-reconfirms that Ana is fast asleep. You don’t say!

Christian goes about his business, and when he returns to the bedroom. Ana is still talking in her sleep. I can’t remember what her dream was about, but it makes no fucking sense from Christian’s POV.

She mumbles again, and I think she said “cage,” but I’m not sure.

[…]

“Strawberry,” she mutters, as I sit down beside her on the bed.

What’s with the fruit? 

“Anastasia,” I summon her gently.

“I want more.”

Christian is like, “I want more too,” and the assumption is that they’re both talking about more than a contract, but what if Ana just wants more fucking strawberries. And a cage is somehow involved, possibly full of the strawberries Ana desires.

“Time to get up, baby. I’m going to switch on the side light.” I reach across and switch it on, bathing her in a pool of dim light. She squints.

“No,” she whines. Her reluctance to wake is amusing and different. In my previous relationships a sleepy submissive could expect to be disciplined.

I don’t really understand why a sleepy submissive would be disciplined? If you wake anyone up really early, they’ll probably be sleepy despite eating a diet and following a workout plan assigned by Christian Grey.

Of course, Christian is waking Ana up to take her to “chase the dawn,” which is a line EL James is clearly proud of because she repeats it at least 20 times this chapter. Ana isn’t in on the plan, though, so most of her dialogue this chapter is just asking where they’re going.

During the car ride, product placement:

“Too depressing?” We can’t have that, Miss Steele, especially when I’m in such a good mood. “Do you want to choose some music? This is on my iPod.”

I tap the navigation screen and bring up the playlist.

“You choose,” I offer, wondering if she’ll like anything I have in iTunes.

Ana winds up putting on Britney Spear’s Toxic, which she quickly learned was put on Christian’s iPod not by Christian himself but by his former submissive, Leila. Given this was such a compelling piece of backstory, I’m really glad we finally have a chance to get more information about this:

“Sir, this submissive respectfully requests Master’s iPod.”

I glance away from the spreadsheet I’m reading and study her as she kneels beside me, her eyes cast down.

She’s been exceptional this weekend. How can I refuse?

“Sure, Leila, take it. I think it’s in the dock.”

“Thank you, Master,” she says, and stands with her usual grace, without looking at me.

Good girl.

And wearing only red high heels, she teeters over to the iPod dock and collects her reward. 

I like how this scene was put in intentionally and yet it reveals nothing. There’s no insight into Christian, his relationship with Leila, or even about why she put the song on the iPod or how he figured out that she put the song on there when she borrowed it then. It reminds me of the flashbacks in later seasons of Lost where it would just be Jack making a sandwich and it would be like ONE TIME KATE ALSO MADE A SANDWICH HER HER PAST ON THE RUN! WHAT A CONNECTION!

Because Christian is in a really good mood, he decides to tell Ana that Leila is the one who put the song on his iPod. I’m not sure what being in a good mood had to do with that decision, but I’m just relaying what Christian said in as accurate a fashion as possible.

Christian talks a little about his past experience with women, and I know the dialogue has to be the same, but surely he could have revealed more to us about the other women he had long term relationships with? Because he said there were four other women besides Elena, and we still learn nothing about any of them (except Leila, of course later).

Upon arriving at the airfield, they meet Mark Benson who is going to go up in the air with them. There are two things you need to know about Mark Benson:

Benson is British, with a firm handshake.

BOOM character sketch complete.

Even though Benson is there for the purpose of helping Christian and Ana get set up, Christian bristles when Benson tries to help them set up. Because touching Ana in any way is strictly forbidden when Christian is not the one doing the touching.

“First we need to strap on your parachute.” Benson reaches into the cockpit and pulls out a parachute for Ana.

“I’ll do that,” I offer, taking the bundle from Benson before he has a chance to put it or his hands on Ana.

Where do you think Christian draws the line with Ana being in a situation where a man might touch her in a completely non sexual way? Hair cuts are fine, but only if a gay man is doing the cutting? Male doctor’s are a no go?

“Thanks, Mr. Benson,” Ana says.

“Call me Mark,” he replies, fucking twinkling at her. I narrow my eyes at him. “Okay?” he asks me.

“Yep. Let’s go,” I say, impatient to be airborne and to get him away from my girl.

After that non-threatening threat threatens to break up Ana and Christian, it’s time to go flying! I can sum this scene up with one gif:

Thousands of words that otherwise would have lived a horrible, pointless life were saved with this gif.

They go to IHOP to get breakfast after because Christian is just a cool, down-to-earth guy, obviously. But is he going to have sex with Ana there? In case you forgot what happened from Ana’s POV, here’s the perfect reminder, and also one of my favourite lines ever:

Much as I’d like to, I’m not going to fuck her in the restroom at IHOP. She deserves better than that, and frankly, so do I.

He knows how to treat a lady right by not fucking her in an IHOP restroom. Just when you think you know Christian, you learn something new. But then Ana tries to pay for the meal, and Christian is like R U TRYIN 2 EMASCULATE ME, GIRL???? So you also learn some old things as well.

Christian drops Ana off at her mother’s house and promises to be over for dinner later. Now it is Matt’s turn, bye. Thanks Apple for sponsoring this chapter and post!