PSA: You know the bar at the top of the BBGT website that lists books and genres that we’ve read? Well, we finally figured out how to get the page for each book to display posts in chapter order (like, you know, a book!), as opposed to reverse chronological order. You have no idea how long we’ve been trying to make the process of getting to the beginning of whatever book you feel like reading (not reading?) easier for all of you. Enjoy!
Sweet Valley High: Secrets, Chapter 10
Elizabeth’s still super down about this whole “my best friend thinks I revealed her secret past with sketchy men and copious drug use to the entire school” thing. High school, right?
Not even the world’s greatest boyfriend can turn her spirits around.
“Hey,” he said, “you don’t look too happy for someone who’s going to the dance tonight with the most fantastic guy on the West Coast.”
She forced a weak smile. “Burt Reynolds is taking me to the dance?”
And with that, a bunch of people reading this blog just felt really old. You know what else is upsetting? If this were House of Night, the reference would simply have been “Burt Reynolds is a vampire!”
It’s Sweet Valley High, so of course it manages to get more groan-worthy in no time at all:
Todd laughed. “That’s what I like about you, Liz. Even when you’re down, you can always smile.”
“That’s me, all right— smiling on the outside, crying on the inside.”
“This just isn’t like Enid. She’s never stayed mad at me for this long before. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear someone was feeding her lies about me. But who would want to do a terrible thing like that?”
Elizabeth. Girl. Do you forget your sister’s entire personality every single book? Is that going to be your thing? Because we’re only on book two, and I’m not 100% convinced this is the most plausible thing to fuel every single Sweet Valley book.
Elizabeth mentions that Jessica suggested it was for the best that she stay away from Enid, and – almost as if reading my thoughts – Todd becomes the only person in the book who seems to remember that Jessica is a manipulative sociopath.
“I wouldn’t exactly call your sister the world’s foremost expert on friendship,” said Todd. […]
Elizabeth defended her twin. “Jessica means well. It really is nice of her to want to help Enid.”
“I’m not so sure,” Todd warned.
Elizabeth feels upset that Enid’s going to miss the big dance that night, and Todd tries to sympathize with her situation. Note I said “tries”.
“I know what you mean,” he said. “It’s like the time when I was a little kid and my brother got sick on Halloween, and he had to stay in bed while I went trick-or-treating. Somehow it just wasn’t the same. Part of me felt like I should have stayed home, too.” He grinned. “It worked out for him, though, because I ended up giving him most of my candy.”
Wait, then what’s the candy in this metaphor? Is candy boys? Is he saying that Elizabeth should give Enid some boys? This story is either a very imperfect metaphor or the most unclear way of proposing a threesome ever.
“I’m glad you understand, Todd.”
Does he though?
“I hope I don’t act too depressed tonight.”
“Goes to show how well you know my tastes,” he said, brown eyes flashing. “I happen to love depressed blondes.”
Oh, Todd. You’re so basic.
So this scene showed what a wonderful guy Todd is, but what if it also told us? Just in case we didn’t quite pick up on how Todd is the best?
He tasted salty-sweet, a combination of french fries and vanilla milkshake. Todd’s kisses were one of the things Elizabeth loved best about him. They were like Todd himself— firm, but so gentle.…
Yo, as much as I love the “firm, but so gentle” part, just imagine if that paragraph just ended at “Todd’s kisses were one of the things Elizabeth loved best about him”, leaving us only with their french fries and vanilla milkshake flavor as explanation. I’d have totally bought that.
Later that day, at home, Jessica informs Elizabeth that their mom won’t let them go to the dance unless they clean their rooms. This is obviously the worst thing that could ever happen for Jessica, but it’s also a plot device for Elizabeth!
As she stooped to pick up some paper, she caught sight of a piece of pale blue stationery barely visible under the bed.
Oh shit!
One of George’s letters!
Oh! Shit!
She realized it must have been there all along and felt a sick, plummeting sensation in her stomach. Anyone could have come along and seen it.
OH SHIT!
No, not just anyone.
Now having finally realized that her s-
Only one person in this house besides their mother would have gone into this room.
Having finally r-
Jessica.
I realize that the reader didn’t have to solve this mystery like Elizabeth had to, but based on everything we all know about Jessica from the first book, I don’t think this is so much Elizabeth realizing that Jessica is responsible for manipulating her and Enid and Ronnie as it is Elizabeth remembering that Jessica exists.
Elizabeth lets the hatred flow through her.
Trembling with rage, she folded the letter and tucked it away in a drawer. She was so furious with Jessica at this moment that she could have strangled her.
I can’t wait to see how Elizabeth finds a wacky resolution for all of this.
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