In case you’re feeling behind on Untamed, you can read this week’s Lazy Reader’s Guide to get up to speed.

House of Night, Untamed Chapter 7:

Damien tells Zoey that he and the rest of their friends want to talk. Of course, all the twins have to contribute is nasty comments to Aphrodite.

“And we’re glad to see she’s leaving,” Shaunee said, glaring at Aphrodite.

“Yeah, don’t let the door hit your skinny ass on the way out,” Erin said.

I saw the hurt that flashed across Aphrodite’s face. “Fine. I’m out of here,” she said.

It’s getting so old that we have to see someone bicker with Aphrodite in every single chapter. You’d think even the twins and Stevie Rae would get tired of this.

I’m fairly sure Damien never gets involved with this crap. He definitely acknowledges she exists in this chapter, which is good because I was starting to suspect that Aphrodite was a ghost that only bitchy teenage girls could interact with.

Zoey tells Aphrodite to stay, and then she points out to her friends that if Nyx trusts Aphrodite they all should too. I hope no one is surprised given this is how arguments are won in the world of House of Night. “Should we trust this other character???” “Well, it seems they are blessed by Nyx, so this requires no thought or risk on our behalf!”

There was a long pause during which the Twins, Jack, and Damien all shared looks, and then Damien finally said, “I suppose we do have to admit that Aphrodite is special to Nyx, but the honest truth is none of us trust her.”

“I trust her,” I said. Okay, maybe I didn’t trust her one hundred percent, but Nyx was working through her.

“Which is ironic, because we’re having trust issues with you,” Shaunee said.

Aphrodite seizes on this moment to point out how if Zoey’s friends all trust Nyx, they should probably also trust Zoey given she is the most special fledging to ever grace the Earth with her presence. SHE HAS AN AFFINITY FOR ALL THE ELEMENTS! She can do no wrong!!!!!!

“Aphrodite may have a point,” Damien said into the stunned silence.

“No shit?” Aphrodite said sarcastically. “Here’s another newsflash for the herd of nerd—my latest vision is of Zoey being killed and the world being thrown into total chaos because of it. And guess who was responsible for your supposed friend’s murder?” She paused, raising her brows at Damien and the Twins before answering her own question. “You all are. Zoey’s killed because you guys turn your backs on her.”

I still don’t quite understand how we take the giant leap from dumb teens ending friendships built on foundations weaker than cream cheese to the end of the world/Zoey’s death. But given the context of these books, Aphrodite makes the best point ever.

Everyone is disturbed by Aphrodite’s visions, and the twins have some very warm words that they’d like to share:

 “You pissed us off, Z,” Shaunee said, looking almost as pale as Damien.

“But we don’t want you to die,” Erin finished, looking equally upset.

And Jack has some more stupid and unnecessary words he’d like to share:

“I’d just die if you died,” Jack said, sniffling. Then he reached for Damien’s hand.

I am still in disbelief that Jack is around so much. Erik was Zoey’s boyfriend for a spell, and he was in the books less. I guess he had stiff competition like Heath and Loren for page space, though.

Aphrodite continues to fix all of Zoey’s friendship problems in one fell swoop. In a way, it’s nice that we won’t have to draw this conflict out for too long. In another way, it’s sad that Zoey’s going to be friends with these people again and that their falling out actually had no consequences.

“Since when have you cared whether Zoey lives or dies?” Damien said.

I feel like Zoey and Aphrodite have gotten along for multiple books now. Why is Damien still acting surprised by this?

“Since I’m working for Nyx, and not myself. And Nyx gives a shit about Zoey; therefore, I give a shit about Zoey. And it’s a good thing I do. You’re supposed to be her best friends, and a secret or two and some stupid misunderstandings have made you freeze her out.” Aphrodite looked and me and snorted, “Hell, Zoey, with friends like them, it’s a good thing we’re not enemies.”

Damien turned from Aphrodite, shaking his head and looking more hurt than angry. “What really confuses me about all of this is that it’s perfectly clear you’re telling her the things you won’t tell us.”

“Oh, please, gay boy. Don’t get your panties all in a big bunch over me taking your dorkish place beside Zoey. It’s simple why she tells me stuff. Vamps can’t read my mind.”

She’s completely right but…’gay boy’? The Casts are really reaching to make Aphrodite be the unlikably likable anti-hero. Look at her saying daring and callous things! She’s basically Sawyer from Lost! Seriously. Sawyer was all about giving everyone on the island dumb nicknames, and he had a dark past, full of pain and sorrow. His rough exterior hid a beautiful heart. Or something. It’s hard to remember, but it feels a lot like what the Casts want to achieve with Aphrodite.

The group realises that Zoey was trying to protect them all along! I mean, she was definitely protecting herself too for some of it, but definitely the Stevie Rae stuff was for their protection. Treasured friendships are restored.

Everyone starts fighting as soon as Aphrodite says something bitchy about Stevie Rae, but then they agree that they all need to get along for Zoey’s sake. I don’t think this fragile truce will last more than a chapter.

Zoey and Aphrodite head to Aphrodite’s room to discuss more things.

“Me, of course, and what I need you to help me with.” Aphrodite opened the door to her room, and we walked into what I liked to think of as her palace. I mean, jeesh, the place looked like she’d decorated it out of aGuide to Gossip Girl Design magazine—if there was such a thing. Which, sadly, there probably was. (Not that I don’t adore Gossip Girl !)

Have the Casts ever watched Gossip Girl? Or am I missing something essential to the show? I could understand Aphrodite’s fashion sense being compared…but her room design? I couldn’t tell you what the bedrooms looked like on the show because it never felt like a crucial part of my viewing experience. I feel like Gossip Girl is mainly close-ups of everyone’s beautiful faces saying dramatic things or making out with other beautiful faces.

Besides Aphrodite complaining about Zoey’s friends being dorks (as usual), Aphrodite tells Zoey she’s going to need to figure out a way for them to leave campus. Why? So they can go see Stevie Rae and the red fledglings of course.

She is confident Zoey will figure out a way to do this, and her confidence moves Zoey. I’m sure that somehow this is also so totally Gossip Girl.

The chapter ends on this exciting cliffhanger:

Aphrodite emerged with a green candle in a pretty green crystal glass and a fancy lighter.

“You need me to help you figure out something about a candle?”

“No, genius. Sometimes Ireally wonder about Nyx’s choices.” She handed me the little gold lighter. “I want you to help me figure out if I’ve lost my affinity for earth.”

WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT!?!?! Only Nyx knows for sure!