The Story Still Isn’t Sure You’re Paying Attention: House of Night Untamed Chapter 14

There is EXCITING BLOG NEWS at the end of this post! WHATEVER COULD IT BE?

Who forgot what’s happening in House of Night over the break? Who usually forgets what’s happening in House of Night because there’s so little going on regardless?

House of Night: Untamed Chapter 14

Zoey kicks off the chapter with a quick, quirky reminder that day and night are flipped around for her because she’s a vampyre. Because in the middle of the fourth book of the series, reminders of the basic premise are what’s keeping this series afloat.

I hadn’t needed to set my alarm to go off at five o’clock that evening (which is really my morning— remember, a fledgling’s day and night are mixed up, as in our school starts at 8 P.M. and ends at 3 A.M.).

This would be like, if halfway through the fourth Harry Potter book, we suddenly had Hermione remind the reader what the differences between muggles and wizards are, and then give examples of each juuuust in case we hadn’t, I dunno, read the first three and a half books about wizard adventures.

Speaking of reminders of things that we should definitely know by chapter fourteen of book four, this chapter is loaded with dialogue that either, 1) even the characters are pointing out has been said a million times already:

“I know I’ve told you this before, but you are slow as a fat kid on crutches,” [Aphrodite] said.
“Aphrodite, you’re mean. I know I’ve told you that before, too,” I said

Or, 2) characters are even visibly tired of hearing again and again:

“Hey, remember what Nyx said. You’re still special to her.”
Aphrodite rolled her eyes.

Or, 3) are those endlessly repeated things distilled to their most basic form:

“We hate her,” Erin and Shaunee said together.

Oh my God. I think the characters IN House of Night have as much disdain for House of Night as I do by this point. They’ve never been more relatable.

Zoey meets up with the twins for breakfast and they suggest she pitch the idea of a flea market to the Street Cats charity she and Aphrodite are meeting up with later. This is probably not important, but it feels more useful than telling you that the twins talked about how much they hate Aphrodite for the bajillionth time.

I sighed. “But [Aphrodite] really was nice to me last night.”
“Probably because she has a serious personality disorder,” Erin said.

Can we appreciate the irony that the twins are the ones claiming someone has a personality disorder?

“Yeah, I think she’s one of those split-personality people,” Shaunee said.

COMING FROM THE CHARACTER WHOSE PERSONALITY IS LITERALLY SPLIT WITH ANOTHER PERSON. SERIOUSLY, CAN WE TALK HERE?

Zoey calls Stevie Rae to confirm that they’re going to meet later that day. Stevie Rae has one of the few lines in the book that genuinely put a smile on my face.

“[The other undead fledglings are] not eating anybody. Really. But I gotta go make sure the pizza delivery guy doesn’t remember too much of this particular delivery.”

Zoey then meets with Shekinah to tell her her plans to bring Aphrodite with her to the meeting with the human charity. Shekinah uses sarcasm to make even Zoey’s TOTES QUIRKY BLURBS seem tolerable somehow.

“you will be well protected in the company of Darius.”
“Yeah, he reminds me of a mountain,” I said without thinking, then blushed at my moronic description.
But Shekinah smiled. “He does, indeed, remind one of a mountain.”

They also briefly talk about how Stark just died, lest we forget he was actually in the plot for a little while there. Shekinah has other strange news for Zoey:

“Here is your new class schedule. With my approval, Neferet has transferred you from an entry-level of Vampyre Sociology to a sixth former level of the class. […] You’re too unusually developed to stay in such a simplistic level of sociology.”

This makes no sense. It’s not like Zoey magically learned five years of academic education in the last month. Like, if a twelve year old magically became 21, you wouldn’t immediately move them to a 300-level undergrad class. And yet that is how this school is run. Kids are just put into classes based on their age instead of their academic background. Hell, Erik Nightwas even pulled out out school just because he physically developed too much! HOW DOES THE VAMPYRE WORLD FUNCTION?

Before Zoey leaves, Shekinah also asks if Zoey and her gifted friends can perform a cleansing ritual in light of all the heavy shit that’s happened at the school lately. Zoey sums up why this is a problem.

So I had to lead a cleansing ritual for the whole school tomorrow— minus my earth element— even though everyone believed Aphrodite still had her affinity for earth. Well, everyone believed Aphrodite was still a fledgling, too. Oh, jeesh. I was in serious trouble. Again.

Which of course means Zoey is in no trouble at all, and that she’s making someone else’s problem all about her. I seriously don’t think a single new development happened in this chapter.

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