Untamed Chapter 15:

Zoey’s schedule has been totally messed up because of her move to Super Advanced Awesome Vampyre Sociology 1000055555. NOW SHE’S GOING TO BE IN ERIK’S DRAMA CLASS. Damn. Drama class is about see some real drama.

There’s no time to dwell on Erik, though, as Zoey has to head off to meet with Street Cats. Remember, volunteering with stray cats is going to begin the healing process between humans and vampyres.

In the car with Darius and Aphrodite (who are still flirting up a storm), Zoey reveals that Aphrodite is going to be part of the cleansing ritual tomorrow night. Panic overtakes Aphrodite, but Darius is oblivious:

“I’m looking forward to it,” Darius said, smiling warmly at Aphrodite. “The power of your circle is unique.”

Read that line aloud suggestively. I promise you, it’s fun.

“I have never known so many powerfully gifted fledglings,” Darius said.

“Honey, you have no idea how gifted I am,” she said breathily, leaning toward him and laughing softly.

I think the Casts imagine all over-the-top flirting as Samantha’s dialogue from Sex in the City.

Zoey is super stressed about the whole situation.

I pawed around in my purse, looking for the Advil and couldn’t find any—of course, drugs don’t work on fledglings very well, so it probably wouldn’t help my headache anyway. Didn’t look like I was going to get the distraction, either. What it looked like I was going to get was typical for me—more trouble and stress and probably a nice dose of raging diarrhea.

Oh ho ho, that Zoey. So relatable with her real-talk about diarrhea. MY HERO. At this point, Zoey’s diarrhea is more of a developed character than Jack.

When they arrive at Street Cats, there’s a huge fucking twist that no one, least of all Zoey, could have ever anticipated.

“Welcome to Street Cats. Is this your first visit?”

I looked from Aphrodite to the—

Nun?!

What the fuck?! A NUN. A FUCKING NUN! Jesus Christ, I was not prepared.

“Young lady?” she prompted me, her smile not fading.

“Oh, uh, yeah. I mean, yes. This is the first time I’ve been to Street Cats,” I said not brilliantly. My mind was racing. What was a nun doing here?

I don’t know, but she’s clearly up to no good.

Then from my side vision, I glimpsed another black-robed figure flit by and realized there were more nuns in the hallway off the gift shop.

Nuns?

The nuns are preparing for the attack!!!!!!

Zoey is worried that the nuns will be opposed to vampyres working with stray cats. I’m so tired of nuns and vampyres facing off about these stray fucking cats. Can’t we all just get along and save the cats together, guys??

Aphrodite is really aggressive with the friendly nun for some reason:

“I didn’t know the Benedictine sisters were involved with Street Cats,” Aphrodite surprised me by saying.

“Why, yes. We’ve been running Street Cats for the past two years. Cats are very spiritual creatures, don’t you think?”

Aphrodite snorted. “Spiritual? They’ve been killed for being witches’ familiars and in league with the devil. If a black one walks across their path, people think it’s bad luck. Is that what you mean by spiritual?”

If Aphrodite is going to be so passionate about something, I really wish it was a more appropriate social justice issue than cats’ bad PR.

But then everyone acknowledges that being a woman and a cat is hard, so we can all get along?

I wanted to smack her for how disrespectful she sounded, but the nun wasn’t ruffled at all. “Don’t you think that is because cats have always been so closely associated with women? Especially those considered wise women by the general public? So, naturally, in a predominately male-dominated society, a certain type of people would see sinister things in them.”

I felt Aphrodite’s little start of surprise. “Yes, that’s what I think. I’m surprised you think so, too, though,” she said honestly. I noticed Darius had stopped pretending to shop and was listening to their exchange with obvious interest.

Stray cats! Social justice! Gender politics! Darius pretending to shop for cat toys! This chapter has it all.

“Young lady, just because I have a wimple over my head, it doesn’t mean it has kept me from thinkingor having a mind of my own. And I can guarantee you I have had many more run-ins with male domination than have you.” Her smile made her words less harsh than they might have been.

This badass nun is Sister Mary Angela, manager of Street Cats.

Aphrodite reveals her father is the mayor, and Sister Mary Angela puts two and two together and realizes Aphrodite is a vampyre. I guess the mayor’s daughter being a vampyre would probably make the news? Okay, I’ll buy that…but this next part gives me pause:

“Yes, Aphrodite is a fledgling and I’m Zoey Redbird, vampyre fledgling and Leader of the Dark Daughters.”

Why would Sister Mary Angela have any clue who the Dark Daughters are? “Of course I’ve heard of your vampyre sorority! That is definitely the kind of interesting group of people a nun would be interested in.”

Sister Mary Angela is super chill about all this. At one point, Zoey even tries to point out how important she is by again saying, “I’m the Leader of the Dark Daughters,” but luckily Aphrodite cuts her off and talks about the recent murders instead.

They talk a little about religion and how Sister Mary Angela is down with vampyres and thinks that their goddess is “another incarnation of our Blessed Mother, Mary.” Does this make sense? I don’t really understand how Nyx = Jesus’ mom…but as you can all tell from my Left Behind recaps, I’m pretty clueless.

Anyway, Zoey really wants everyone to know she’s the goddamned Leader of the Dark Daughters:

My mind was still having trouble grasping the fact that this nun was so totally okay with vampyres, but I mentally shook myself and focused enough to say, “As the Leader of the Dark Daughters, I thought it would be a good idea if we got involved with a local charity.”

JUST GIVE SOME CONTEXT, DUDE. The Dark Daughters are probably not a universally known thing.

Zoey explains why they want to volunteer at Street Cats, and she and Darius talk about how awesome their cats are…but Aphrodite is sad because no cat has ever chosen her. Can you see where this is going? Yes, Aphrodite is 100% going to find a cat at Street Cats BECUZ NYX WUZ GUIDING HER HERE ALL ALONG.

Everyone starts pitching in to help save the cats, and Stevie Rae shows up. She is as shocked about the nuns as everyone else, but is relieved to know they are harmless and plotting no attacks…yet.