It’s the Lazy Reader’s Guide on a SUNDAY! Everything’s gone MAD!
Left Behind
Ariel doesn’t understand Carpathia’s convoluted rise to power, and our main characters finally cross paths!
- Buck has a meeting with Bailey (his new boss) and Steve (his former boss who’s going to work for Carpathia and is already apparently evil). They talk about the rumors that Carpathia is getting some fancy-pants job at the UN tomorrow. It doesn’t matter what job exactly. Nothing in this book makes sense.
- Steve confirms that Carpathia will only take the job if the rest of the work meets certain demands, including 10% disarmament and a seven-year peace treaty with Israel. Very suspicious. Definitely sounds like the mad work of the antichrist to me.
- After that meeting, Buck, Rayford, Hattie, and Chloe all meet at last. Now this story will totally make sense.
- Buck and Chloe are already madly in love. It’s the worst.
- Rayford tells Hattie that he’s sorry he led her on because he was only ever interested in using her for sex. Then he tells her about how he’s found Jesus. This is probably more objectively the worst, but ugh I really can’t with Buck and Chloe and it’s just the first chapter of that shit.
House of Night: Untamed
Zoey and company perform a ritual, which is oddly the only one that happens in this book. Neferet barely even pretends to not be an evil villain in front of the vampyre president, who doesn’t seem to be bothered. Next week we read the last chapter. It remains to be seen what exactly was untamed.
- It’s a ritual. We’ve read like four dozen of them before.
- Zoey reveals that Aphrodite isn’t really blessed with an earth affinity, but was holding it for the undead Stevie Rae, who is revealing her existence to the vampyre world… now!
- Neferet accuses Zoey of reanimating her dead students, and reveals Stark, claiming this is proof of Zoey’s evil deeds. She then tells Stark to shoot Stevie Rae in the chest with a bow and arrow, which nobody finds even a little weird.
- Neferet declares herself the Queen Tsi Sgili and “then the night exploded”, so that oughta be fun.
- Vampyre highest priestess Shekinah has like two lines of dialogue during all this madness, because apparently she doesn’t give a fuck.
And More!
Jezebel has a great breakdown on the shitshow about to go down on The Bachelor. Yes, I’ve been watching The Bachelor. I’m super into it. Not gonna lie.
Advertisements
I’m pretty sure Neferet revealed Stark and it was him who shot Stevie Rae. Although I have to admit, it would have been a much more interesting story if it had been Jack.
Neferet: “This is my gay tornado and he’s gonna shot people!”
Jack: “I have been an evil gay spy all along!!!”
Zoey: And this was the time that I realized that Jack had not just been gay all the time but also that he was evil and now would shot people. I just … felt the truth of this. Deep in my guts.
Oh shit, did I get the names mixed up??? Whoops. Thanks. I’m gonna fix that.
Although goddamn, “this is my gay tornado he is gonna shoot people” might have been when I came around on these books