Sweet Valley Confidential: Chapter 13
The chapter starts off with an unintentionally apt metaphor for the book as a whole:
“What do you think she’ll do? Do you think she’ll speak to me? To us?”
Jessica had already tried on five different outfits. […] All in all there were about ten different looks that were basically the same
WE GET IT. Jessica is doing basically the same thing over and over again. We’re on our thirteenth chapter of that. We pretty much got it. That and how she has somehow simultaneously tried on five and ten different outfits. If anyone can explain that to me, please help. This seems like it’s just a weird contradiction, but then again I am not especially talented at fashion.
Hm, if only we had some idea just why Jessica was suffering so.
If only she could have asked Elizabeth. Elizabeth would know. Elizabeth knew everything about her and sometimes better than she knew herself.
Just any idea at all!
That was almost the worst part – not hearing Elizabeth for these last eight months.
If only this could just be really, really explicitly spelled out for us over and over again while nothing else happened.
Another thing she would never again feel, Elizabeth’s arms around her, holding her.
That’d be so helpful.
A thousand times a day she needed Elizabeth
To me, as the reader.
[needed her] to pluck a piece of lint off her skirt
The fuck? Jessica. Girl. You really gotta pull yourself together.
Even Todd is getting tired of this shit. Or starts to.
She never asked him his opinion on any of the outfits. This was the shallow side of Jessica. […] But the truth was, even just watching her changing clothes, throwing rejects aside, studying herself in the mirror, grabbing another skirt, another blouse, working herself up to a small frenzy, he loved her.
I get that love is inexplicable and shit, but Sweet Valley Confidential has found a way to make it just exceptionally inexplicable.
Really, though, the whole point of this sequel when you stop to think about it is the twist that once they’re adults, Todd is with Jessica instead of Elizabeth. And thus far the story really hasn’t given us much reason why. That quote above about her struggling to find a good outfit is actually one of the book’s only attempts at offering any explanation. Which is underwhelming, to put it mildly.
This is especially important to keep in mind now, because in today’s chapter we finally get the flashback where Elizabeth finds out about Jessica and Todd! Related: here’s today’s forced segue into the flashback sequence:
But nothing could quiet her deep unhappiness. And with it came that terrible day and the explosion that ended everything.
Jessica and Todd find themselves alone at the house again, and to make things worse, Jessica’s husband Regan is arriving later that day for mysterious – but presumably angry – reasons!
“What’s he coming for?”
“I don’t know. That’s what scares me, that I don’t know.”
“What did he say when he called? How did he sound?”
“He didn’t call. He texted me. And that’s all it said: ‘I’ll be there within twenty-four hours.’”
To give credit where credit is due, I feel it’s worth pointing out that if this exact exchange took place in Fifty Shades or Crossfire or any Jamie McGuire novel, this would be framed as romantic behavior.
Sweet Valley Confidential uses the opportunity to discuss the tension between Jessica and Todd now that they’ve kissed again. Which is somehow a task beyond its abilities.
We are so awkward together. But it’s not like the anger of before, it’s different now. Even harder.
What on earth does “harder” mean in this context?
When Regan does arrive, he figures it out immediately.
But he’s still looking at Todd, perplexed. Then recognition hits. “I know you. You’re Elizabeth’s friend, right?”
“Right.” […]
Regan studies both of us. “Where is she?”
“Who?” Todd asks. […]
He’s taking his time, like he’s studying us. Then he looks back to me. Slowly. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me? I wouldn’t have wasted my time coming out here to get you.”
Aw geez. This is uncomfortable! I bet Jessica will have a thing or two to say which will sound like a human adult who is aware of what an emotionally trying circumstance she’s in.
“Hey,” I say. “Look … I’m, like, totally sorry for this whole thing.”
…yeah, that seems par for the course.
Regan has their affair totally figured out, which quickly brings their interaction to blows.
“You sleeping with him?” Regan asks, moving in closer, paying no attention to my question. “Of course you are, but the real question is, how long has it been going on?”
Before Regan gets too close to me, Todd shoves him back. And like two bucks in the wilderness, they fall to it. […] Just when it looks like nothing will stop them, from out of nowhere Elizabeth dives between them. I didn’t even see her come in.
Regan continues to be the only person in the room who seems to have gotten any adult dialogue. Not “adult”, like, not suitable for children. “Adult” as in doesn’t sound like a child.
“I can’t believe this,” Elizabeth says. “This is totally crazy.” […]
Regan recovers first. “You want to see crazy? Look what’s happening here. Look at them. […] Look at them. I’m here two minutes and I can see it. What’s with you? Don’t you know what’s going on right in front of your eyes? Or more likely, behind your back.”
…I mean, we’ve all been wondering that.
“I always knew you were a cheat. Don’t waste your money on lawyers. That prenup is iron.”
Lifting his shoulders and jutting out his chin, he shoots me one last nasty look and walks out the door. “Hey, I hope you two will be very happy. Actually, you three.”
Then he’s gone.
The tension after Regan leaves is – pleasant surprise here! – actually pretty great! It finally feels like a moment where the other shoe is just about to drop, and Jessica’s dread is finally palpable.
Nobody says anything. We just stand there, hoping for I don’t know what. Maybe somehow Regan’s words can be misinterpreted.
Hell, it even manages to get the other shoe to drop in – extending the shoe dropping metaphor, I guess – delightfully slow motion. This is like The Matrix‘s lobby scene of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“I don’t even want to guess what he’s talking about,” Elizabeth says to us. “I want you to tell me.”
Nothing has been misinterpreted.
Jessica desperately – and futilely – tries to salvage the situation. Elizabeth is having none of it.
I jump to the obvious defense. “Regan’s crazy jealous all the time. That’s one of the reasons I’m leaving him.”
It hits silence.
Then Elizabeth turns to Todd. “You’ve been acting weird since my sister got here. Do you hate her that much?”
I see the change on Elizabeth’s face, the realization, and she breaks the frieze, takes a deep breath, and shakes her head. “Oh, my God, it’s true. I must have been blind.”
…ok. According to the Oxford Dictionary, a “frieze” is “a broad horizontal band of sculpted or painted decoration, especially on a wall near the ceiling”. And “break the frieze” doesn’t seem to be an expression. And that’s it. So either Elizabeth is so angry about the affair that she’s destroying her house, or Sweet Valley Confidential tried to use a fancy word that sounds like “freeze” but totally doesn’t mean anything like that. This is definitely not the key takeaway in the moment where Elizabeth finally learns that her fiance is cheating on her, but it’s hard to ignore because now that part of the sentence literally means nothing.
Anyway, LET THEM FIGHT.
“No, Liz, it’s not like that.…” Todd says.
“Was it funny, my stupidity? Did you laugh about it? Or were you just grateful?”
“Please, Lizzie…” I start toward her, but she puts up her hand to stop me.
“I take it back. I don’t want to hear any of it. Go to hell, both of you!”
Grabbing her purse, she turns and, in a sweep of fury, marches to the door […]
“I don’t know when this started. Or how long it’s been going on. I only know one thing: You’re both despicable lowlifes!”
“Liz—” he starts, but she cuts him off.
“Liars! How could you do this to me?” Now the expression on her face is no longer fury. It has collapsed into total defeat, leaving her just enough strength to leave. Not even enough for a door slam. Only the smallest clicking sound as she pulls the door shut behind her.
I have just destroyed my dearest sister.
As opposed to any of her regular, non-dear sisters.
“What have we done.”
Not a question, a condemnation.
Todd tries to take me in his arms. I can feel his love, but I move away. I can’t bear the comfort now.
How can he love me?
Boy, do I wish this book were interested in answering that question.