Chapter 11:
The kids are about to be crushed to death in this scary house of mirrors. The kids cry for help, but Lizzy accepts her fate that she is going to be crushed to death. And that’s it! That’s the end of this chapter already.
Chapter 12:
I couldn’t hear Luke or Clay anymore.
I could only hear my gasping, choked breaths.
I shut my eyes.
And felt the floor drop away.
I bet the HorrorLand Horrors who designed this attraction are so pleased that the intricacy of their work is on full display here. I bet they were feeling really inspired from creating the Doom Slide and decided they wanted to utilize the same functionality.
Lizzy falls through an open chute and winds up outside again with the boys. Everyone is just so relieved to be alive, and Luke decides they have to keep going on rides since they’re so cool. This kid is really playing with fire.
Clay and Lizzy try to reason with Luke, but his faith in HorrorLand is unshakeable:
“But, Luke, what if they mess up?” I asked him. “What if the machines get goofed up? What if the timing gets off? Let’s say the floor underneath us got stuck. Then what?”
Luke didn’t reply. He stared back at me thoughtfully.
“What would have happened to us if the floor hadn’t dropped away at the right moment?” I demanded.
Luke shrugged. “They make sure everything works okay,” he answered finally.
Clay wonders if anyone has ever died at the park, so they stop some Horrors to ask.
“Hey, has anyone ever died here in this park?” Luke asked.
The Horror kept walking. The black balloons bobbed above his head. “Only once,” he told Luke.
“One person died here?” Luke asked.
The Horror shook his big green head. “No. Not what I meant.”
“What did you mean?” Luke demanded.
“A person can only die once here,” the Horror said. “No one has ever died twice.”
God damn it, Horror! You are being willfully obtuse.
Chapter 13:
The Horror walks off without ever really addressing the question of how many fucking people died here, not how many times the same person died. I mean, really! That’s not a question that’s easy to misinterpret.
Lizzy suggest they go find their parents (the first good idea I’ve heard all day!) and the boys reluctantly agree. As they begin their search, they pass a ride with the sign, “OUT OF ORDER. DO YOU DARE TO RIDE IT ANYWAY?” What are they trying to achieve at this theme park???
They encounter a few spooky things along the way like tree snakes (which they never actually see, they just think they hear hissing and stuff near a sign warning about TREE SNAKES) and evil laughter coming from a statue. Eventually, they see a sign, “FRONT EXIT. DON’T BOTHER. YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE.” Oh, okay, guess we’ll just stay here forever then.
Then they wind up in a barn called Bat Barn. When the kids enter, the door slams shut behind them, and they are soon surrounded by bats. I do not understand how any of them are surprised by this turn of events given everything that has happened in HorrorLand thus far.
Chapter 14:
Everyone cries for help again and just kind of shout, “Bats!!!” over and over again. I don’t know how effective this method is to be rescued, but I guess they don’t really have any other options. Lizzy soon realizes no one is coming to help them no matter how many time they shout “Help bats!”
Chapter 15:
The barn door opens, and everything is okay. I’m trying to remember if as a kid I was tense and worried every time one of these scary things happened and then super relieved when the situation resolved itself. I really can’t recall how I felt about this book, but I sure remember being afraid of Night of the Living Dummy.
Luke comes to the conclusion that there weren’t actually bats in the barn, it was all special effects. This gives the kids something else to repetitively argue about for the chapter, making my post very easy to write.
I ignored him and led the way down the path toward the front gate. Two people in Horror costumes appeared on the path, going the other way, chatting enthusiastically.
“Is this the way to the front gate?” I called to them.
They ignored my question and walked right past us.
“Hey — !” I called to them.
But they both kept jabbering away and didn’t even seem to see or hear me.
It sounds like working at HorrorLand is a pretty good time. I mean, these Horrors are clearly catching up on the latest gos and really enjoying life! And they clearly do not have to give a fuck about providing stellar customer service.
I would love to work at HorrorLand and come up with ridiculous signs like, “ALLIGATOR POND. FEEL FREE TO SWIM HERE.” I mean they must have so much fun coming up with these! I bet that’s what the Horrors were chatting enthusiastically about.
The kids frantically search for their parents and eventually ask a Horror if she’s seen their parents:
She nodded. “Yeah. I remember them. They left. They left about half an hour ago.”
“Huh?” I gaped at her in disbelief.
“They asked me to give you a message,” the Horror said.
“Message? What message?” I asked.
“Good-bye,” the Horror replied.
I don’t trust this answer to be true, mostly because of the misunderstanding about the ‘how many people died at this park’ question fiasco.