House of Night (Hunted): Chapter 11
After a whole chapter of Erik and Heath’s dick measuring contest, Zoey actually says what we’re all thinking for once.
“You two fucking suck. Why are you my best prospects? Still? After five fucking books? Holy shit, I need to rethink my life.”
Ok, you caught me. What she actually says is still pretty okay, though:
“You know, you two are ridiculous with your puffing up and your testosterone and crap. I mean, I could summon the elements and kick both of your butts.”
Erik still acts like a huge ass (I know, right? Still. Imagine.) and tries to deescalate the situation by saying, “I know I don’t have anything to worry about with you and him.” Not because he trusts Zoey or anything! He just announces that he doesn’t see Heath as a threat. I don’t care what else happens in this book so long as Zoey dumps Erik roughly a half-dozen chapters after they’re official again.
Heath looks at Zoey, who remains silent, and then goes to leave, but stops right before he actually leaves, insisting he really does need to talk to Zoey alone.
Guess who’s the worst about this? CAN YOU GUESS?
“Hell no,” Erik said, moving toward me possessively. “She’s not going anywhere with you.”
I was frowning up at Erik, about to tell him that he really wasn’t the boss of me, when he did something that totally, utterly, and completely pissed me off. He actually grabbed my wrist and jerked me toward him, even though I hadn’t taken one step to follow Heath. […] “You’re not going anywhere with him,” he repeated to me.
My temper spiked.
YAS QUEEN. SLAY.
[My stepdad] was nothing more than a big bully. Suddenly I was seeing that same attitude reflected in Erik. […]
“Erik, enough. Just because we’re back together doesn’t mean you can tell me what to do.”
“How about does it mean you don’t cheat on me again with your human boyfriend?” Erik snapped.
DRAG HIM.
“Why the hell do you think you can talk to me like that?”
Ok, before we get too proud of Zoey, keep in mind that this is all so she can talk to… Heath…
In the electric silence Heath’s chuckle was supermocking.
I genuinely can’t decide if this one-word “supermocking” is stupid or superb.
Now, before we move on, let’s think about this. Obviously, if Zoey wants to talk to Heath, sure, let her talk to Heath. And if she wants to be Erik’s girlfriend again, sure, let her be Erik’s girlfriend again. It’s nice to see a character just do things they want without spending chapters and chapters and chapters deliberating about it (see: basically any romance novel we read on this blog, take your pick). But this same old fight with Erik over the same old jealousy? Gee, it’s almost like they shouldn’t have gotten back together without talking about their old issues first? And maybe the reader is kind of just tired of looking for reasons to care?
There’s a bit of an ice storm still happening, so they talk in Heath’s truck. Heath expresses concern about Zoey living in the tunnels with the red fledglings, but she assures him they’ve changed and aren’t a threat anymore.
Heath studied my face for a long time, then he let out a heavy sigh. “You’re the one who’s the priestess and stuff like that, so you know what you’re doing.”
Wow, Heath actually respects Zoey’s decisions, and can have reasonable conversations about their disagreements? Holy shit! Haha, maybe Zoey should be with Heath instead of Erik!
Heath took my hand and turned it over so that he could look at the intricate tattoos […] “It’s really amazing that this has happened to you […] Sometimes when I’m waking up in the morning I forget that you’ve been Marked […] But now even that’s gone.”
No. No. Book, I was kidding. Book. Stop this.
“I can’t change any of this.”
“Yes, you can.” Heath lifted my hand and pressed my palm […] just over his heart. “Can you feel it beating?” he whispered.
THIS AGAIN? Oh my god, we’re a third of the way through now. Is nothing new going to happen in this book?
“Cut me, Zo. Drink my blood again.” His voice was deep and harsh with desire. […] “Put the Imprint back between us where it belongs.”
Zoey almost does it, thinking about how much she enjoyed being with Heath, but remembers how much she broke his heart when she broke the Imprint. She quickly leaves the car. Erik won’t take a hint.
“Remember how painful it was when our Imprint broke? Remember how you said it made you feel like you wanted to die?”
“Then don’t break it again.”
“It’s not that simple. My life isn’t that simple anymore.”
Boy. Chill.
“I’m going to go back down there. To my people and my vampyre boyfriend.”
I love how things in House of Night are designated as a thing or a vampyre thing, seemingly completely at random.
Zoey shouts at Heath to forget her, to leave and never come back. This might sound like a trite, cliche summary, but it’s actually what’s in the book.
Suddenly, Zoey sees Neferet stalking them in the tree! But then it turns into a Raven Mocker. I guess the reader is supposed to figure out that the Raven Mockers can shapeshift, but why bother explaining new magical beings to the reader when you can have a fifth straight book of Zoey explaining why she can’t be with Heath.
“Zzzzzoey?” It breathed my name, its voice sounding wrong and flat and utterly inhuman. “We havvvve been loooooking for you.”
My body felt frozen. My mind was screaming inside my head they’ve been looking for me!
We can read, Zoey.
“My father will be very pleassssssed when I presssssent you to him,” the Mocker hissed, spreading his wings as if he was preparing to fly down and snatch me up.
“I’ll have to say ‘hell no’ to that little messed-up plan of yours,” Heath yelled.
If Heath gets killed off before Erik, I swear I’m fucking done with these books.
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So I’m a “pantser” not a “planner” when I write. I just sit down and write things as they occur to me. If I could work with an outline, where all this stuff was laid out beforehand, I would, but I can’t. I’ve tried. Sometimes this means that I need to go back and add in foreshadowing, or excise scenes/characters that are superfluous to the plot.
I’m pretty sure the Casts are “pantsers”. They write things down without any kind of plan going in. BUT THAT’S WHAT EDITORS ARE FOR, and that’s why writers need to listen to them! Because an editor would look at Heath and go “Soooo what’s the overall plan for Heath, here? Why is he showing up? What’s his arc? Why is he still in love with Zoey? What PURPOSE does this serve and also why is nothing happening in this book?” Writing without purpose is one of the great literary sins in my eyes, and almost nothing in this series has a purpose.
Of course, this was published when the vampire craze was just kicking off, so I’m pretty sure the publishing house just saw $$$ and sent it to an editor with a note pinned to it that said “Fix the commas and don’t worry about the rest, xoxo”.
So yeah: why is Zoey back with Erik? Why is Heath still around? Why are we spinning a re-tread of the last however many books instead of moving the story forward? Why does nothing in this chapter serve a narrative purpose until the last freaking paragraph??