Do You Guys Remember Sylvia Day’s “Golden” Song?

Hello, readers both old and new! Except, uh, especially old ones right at this particular moment. Earlier this year, we finished the fifth and final book in Sylvia Day’s Crossfire series. It was a momentous occasion, as we first read Bared to You during our first year of this blog! And then this year we finally finished this dark, dark deed of ours.

Oh, and sometime along the way, the fictional rock band in Crossfire, The Six-Ninths, had a hit song, which for some unfathomable reason, I decided to perform and then put on the internet.

Oh god, I was so young and foolish.

To jog your memory, a recurring subplot throughout the Crossfire series (that goes absolutely nowhere) is Eva’s ex-boyfriend Brett, who is 1) now a mega successful, douchebag rock star, 2) still trying to win Eva back, and 3) so unimportant I had to google his name just now to write this post.

In the second book, Reflected In You, Brett’s band The Dick Jokes The Six-Ninths release their breakout first hit, “Golden”. (They never release another song in the entire series, so it’s technically canon that they’re a shitty one-hit wonder.) “Golden” is, like most things in Crossfire, about being inscrutably obsessed with Eva. It’s a rock ballad epic that chronicles Brett’s lost love, begging her to take him back.

But most importantly, Sylvia Day wrote the fucking lyrics. On its own, it’s not so remarkable that a writer, you know, wrote words, but do remember what blog this is as you take in this song that – in the books – took the world by storm:

Golden girl, there you are.
I’m singing for the crowd, the music’s loud.
I’m living my dream, riding the high,
But I see you there, sunlight in your hair,
And I’m ready to go, desperate to fly.

Golden girl, there you are.
Dancing for the crowd, the music’s loud.
I want you so bad. I can’t look away.
Later, you’ll drop to your knees. You’ll beg me please.
And then you’ll go, it’s only your body I know.

Back when we first covered this, we mostly panned the lyrics for sounding both generic and amateurish. It’s like a computer was given Top 40 radio and came up with its own cliched statements about love and sex. It’s like a song written by someone who has never heard a song before, given how suspiciously absent any sense of meter or rhythm is in this mess. It’s fucking ridiculous and fucking incredible. Between those whiny lyrics and Brett’s douchey rockstar persona, you can just imagine this song is basically Nickelback meets “Hey There, Delilah”.

Except you don’t have to imagine anymore because there’s an official fucking version of this song now.

IT SOUNDS JUST LIKE IT DID IN MY HEAD. The blaring loud-soft electric guitar dynamic and overproduced vocals and oversexed lyrics are right out of a Nickelback song! The singer is struggling so much with the nonexistent meter that no two lines of the chorus follow the same melody or start on the same beat! A GUITAR SOLO THAT’S JUST ENDLESS SIXTEENTH NOTES. IT IS MY EVERYTHING.

As Sylvia Day explained on her website (where she includes a mere 30-second sample of the song):

Since the release of Reflected in You, readers have been curious about “Golden,” the song sung by Six-Ninths’ frontman Brett Kline at the concert Eva attended with Gideon, Arnoldo, and Shawna. A post-breakup love song from Brett to Eva, “Golden” became Six-Ninths’ breakout hit–as well as the source of wild tabloid speculation.

Now, you can hear “Golden” for yourself and add it to your favorite playlist. It didn’t win Eva back for Brett, but it’s still a great song.

I love her assurance that her own song is a great song, and the suggestion that in addition to merely listening to the song, you can also add it to playlists! What a time to be alive.

And best of all, Sylvia Day’s fans finally have a real, mostly listenable version of this song now, instead of the shitty one with a godawful Chad Kroeger impression I made as a joke that’s been on the internet three years longer than Sylvia Day’s real thing. Something bad could have happened!

FUCK. WHY DOES MY VIDEO COME UP FIRST.

FUCK.

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

WHY IS IT THE FIRST RESULT?

Ok. Good. At least I don’t turn up at all if anyone just googles “six ninths golden”. The most bare bones search term anyone could use. I think I’m relatively safe.

Well, goodbye forever.