House of Night (Hunted) Chapter 32:
Darius returns and announces that the wall has fallen, but he had to kill a Raven Mocker in the process. Lenobia explains that this is good because now everyone will be expecting Zoey and friends to escape through the broken wall…but that’s just a diversion! The full plan is still not revealed to us, but I’m sure it will be a thrilling adventure.
Team Zoey begin mounting their horses, and…hey, wait a minute. I can’t remember the last time House of Night mentioned that Damien was gay.
With a long-suffering sigh he put his knee in her hands and tried (unsuccessfully) to stifle a very gay squeal as she boosted him up on Persephone’s broad back.
Okay, I can relax now. The same can’t be said for Zoey.
As you can well imagine, I was pretty concerned about having a raging case of nervous diarrhea.
Do it, Hunted. I fucking dare you. Have Zoey have nervous diarrhea on her horse while they’re escaping, and I will show some respect. But we both know you’re just bluffing.
Lenobia finally details the convoluted escape plan which involves the other allied professors casting confusion spells, fighting Raven Mockers, and having Shaunee start a fire in the stables so…the horses run around on campus adding more confusion on top of the confusion spell that is apparently a thing.
There was no time for flowery words or inspiring music; there was only time for action.
If you were to ask me to describe this series on opposite day, then these would be exactly the words I would use. Yup, House of Night only has time for action.
They then carry out their plan, which is a big challenge to recap because it is both extremely confusing and boring since it’s exactly what Lenobia just described to us above. They call the elements to protect them, call fire to burn the stables and heat the horses’ shoes so they can melt the ice, and the remaining horses start running around campus…which will distract the Raven Mockers and very powerful vampyres. I like the idea of Kalona and Neferet’s downfall being distracting horses.
Behind us I could hear the screams of panicked horses and the terrible cries of the Raven Mockers. I gritted my teeth and hoped Lenobia’s mares were taking out a bunch of the birdmen.
Wait, the horses are supposed to be fighting the Raven Mockers? This seems like animal abuse.
The gang escapes as they watch Dragon distracting some Raven Mockers, and they run through Tulsa which is covered in ice and seems “post-apocalyptic” somehow after like 1 night. They notice Raven Mockers are chasing them…and Darius pulls out a gun??? Even Zoey points out how weird this is.
Out of his jacket pocket he pulled a black gun. I’d never seen any of the Sons of Erebus carry modern weapons, and it looked completely out of place in his hand. He said something to Aphrodite, who was pressed against his back. She slid to the side a little, allowing him to swivel around. He lifted his arm, sighted, and squeezed off half-a-dozen shots. The sound was deafening in the frozen night, but not half as eerie as what followed it – the screams of wounded Raven Mockers and the thud! crash! of bodies as they fell from the sky.
I’m surprised the gun was so effective. Maybe there’s something magical about the bullets?
Everything is okay right away, and a paragraph later they find the Abbey. Sister Mary Angela greets Zoey, but then they notice there are more Raven Mockers around them. Good thing Darius brought a gun to a Raven Mocker fight!
Gaye Squeel would be a great name for a drag queen. I’m just saying.
Ru Paul would be so proud <3
If I were giving my character infallible “gut feelings” about the true nature of humanity, I would not also give her gastrointestinal distress as a running joke.
So is Neferet really evil, or is Zoey just having a flare-up of her Crohn’s disease? WHAT A PLOT CONUNDRUM!
HAHAHAHA is it a gut feeling or plot-diarrhea? Tune in next week!
Zoey needs to go to a doctor, her stomach has a serious problem
THIS WOMAN NEEDS SERIOUS MEDICAL ATTENTION! Why is everyone laughing at her pain?
Hey, whatever happened to the HoN reviews? Stopping halfway through their cunning plan has left me in such suspense!
Wow, I’m so happy you were enjoying our HoN reviews! Fear not, I think we’ll be going back to the series at some point in the future 😉
Coming raaather late to the party here, but I’ve read through all the HoN posts and am left with a few lingering impressions:
The Casts obviously have it in for evangelical Christianity, yet even as they denigrate it, they manage to retain some of the worst aspects of it. Of note:
A. Sex — especially girls being wanting/engaging in sex — is inherently bad.
B. Judge people by what they wear and whether or not they meet your standards of hygiene or fashion choice.
C. God (or in this case, Nyx) dispenses “insights” and “miracles” sporadically, but only if you manage to behave in a way that keeps her approval — like a wonky vending machine that you have to keep feeding money in hopes that it’ll work when you’re really hungry.
D. Explaining away the times that the Divine Vending Machine fails to dispense as “free will.”
E. Drugs, alcohol, and sex are all bad in pretty much any quantity.
F. Gay is scary so we either condemn it or make it the punchline of a joke every dang time.
I grew up an evangelical, plus spent my teen years in what was basically a fundamentalist cult-lite, so all those elements of the story stood out to me. It was so weird to read the same old warped views in a story that was supposed to be edgy and worldly-wise. I still keep to the faith, but I’ve actively rejected those aspects of it. The Casts seem to have done the opposite.
Such lazy writing. I know this because I’m a writer too. I recognize when authors are basically writing fanfic with their own characters. It’s fun because you love these characters, and you love seeing what do together. The difference is that I then gave my manuscript to good readers, who came back and said that those parts seemed kind of silly; and then an editor who flat-out said it didn’t work and I needed to get back to my actual story.
Obviously I enjoyed your satisfyingly incisive commentary, and I’m glad I didn’t have to read these books.