Calendar Girl (August) Chapter 7: Mia Basically Remembers Max is Her Brother

Calendar Girl (August) Chapter 7:

Apparently the Cunninghams had absolutely no concern for another person’s privacy.

How did that sentence not start with, “Like everyone else in this story,”?

Mia wakes up to texts from Maddy who is super excited she and her fiance are being flown out to Texas on a private plane. Mia is none too pleased:

Jesus! It looked like little miss Cyndi-farm-girl worked fast. Somehow she got Maddy’s number from my phone without me noticing it.

How is Mia being so blasé about this awful invasion of privacy? The way she refers to Cyndi is weird and rude, but more on the condescending than outraged side.

Mia realizes that Cyndi had also changed her clothes while she was in the room, and instead of being even more outraged, she says,

“The sweet prego came into my room, found me face down, shoes and all, and took care of me.”

WHAT? That seems equally unacceptable to me given THEY DO NOT KNOW EACH OTHER AND THEN CYNDI WENT INTO MIA’S PHONE! Based on these two things somehow Mia is like, “I’m 50/50 about Cyndi.”

Mia calls Wes to catch up about what’s been going on, and he actually speaks some sense about the whole thing:

“Babe, you there?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m here. Just not too happy about everything you said. I knew it was odd when you told me about the job initially, and my investigator has found nothing but good things about the guy. He’s solid, a family man, big in business and heir to the Cunningham Oil & Gas fortune. Apparently, the Cunninghams are keeping the sister and percentage deal under wraps because my guy said he couldn’t find a word of it in his research.”

MIA GET OUT OF THE HOUSE WHAT THE FUCK! I mean, even if we find out they made up the whole thing just so Max could meet Mia that would not answer the barrage of questions I have. Like why he would hire his half-sister as an escort rather than just contact her in a normal way and explain the situation. Also why would they make up this lie and convince Mia she is committing fraud/why is Mia committing fraud/omg the questions are endless.

Instead of being alarmed as fuck, Mia says,

“Wes, it’s hard being here. The more time I spend with this family, the more I wish it were real,”

“Remember that time Cyndi invaded my privacy? Remember that time Max started crying when I mentioned my sister or asked me about my boring aunt? IT’S LIKE HAVING A FAMILY AND I CHERISH THESE PEOPLE.” No seriously, why is she longing to be part of their family? It makes no sense.

Anyway, later this happens:

That evening, a dream I’d had a few times over the years came back. I was around four years old and playing playing at special park-like area connected to one of the local Vegas casinos. A young boy with a mop of yellow curls on his head led me around by the hand.

So it’s Max, right? And it’s a memory not a dream, right? Unless Matthew’s hope that this is all a comedy of errors is reality and this dream is a red herring. That blonde boy is actually named Jim and he’s a data analyst for a mobile gaming website nowadays! Gotcha, readers!

The boy tells Mia he has to watch her while his dad and her mom have an important talk. Remember, this is probably just some random boy named Jim who is being introduced here for no foreshadowing reasons whatsoever.

The boy nodded, his hair flopping over his eyes. He pushed the strands away, and his intense green eyes stared back at me. People told me all the time that my eyes were like a cat’s, but I thought this boy’s eyes looked more like a cat’s. Kind of like Mom’s. “Well, my daddy says he wants to marry your mommy and be a family. That would make you my sister.”

Hm. Guys, I’m starting to suspect that maybe this isn’t some random guy named Jim and could actually be Max, but I’m not sure. There haven’t been enough clues yet.

Mia tells Max  this random boy that her mom is already married to her dad and that she’s kind of terrible anyway and he should get a better mom…so they wander around together pointing at women who could become his new mother. What fun these long-lost siblings were deprived of over the ensuing years.

Their parents show up, and then the boy’s father kisses Mia’s mom, begging her to come be with him. Then Mia’s dad shows up, completely oblivious to everything going on. How the hell is this a dream? It is so extremely detailed that there is no way it could be a dream or a memory from a four-year-old child.

Usually, I could control my dreams enough that I could go back to them or think about what I wanted to and dream of that. This time when I closed my eyes, I went head first into another memory.

Even Mia can’t keep whether it’s a dream or memory straight.

[Matthew adds: Also, can we take a second to appreciate that what’s seriously happening is that Mia is just sitting there, like “Hang on, I need to remember harder” and then she just… remembers more stuff? The actual way we’re getting this reveal is Mia explaining “I could control my dreams” and then she remembers her way into the plot twist.]

In this next dream/memory, Mia is out and about with her parents:

That’s when a man bumped into the two of them on the street. A teenager stood next to him and caught Mom around the waist. She turned, ready to yell at the intruder even though they were being helpful. I knew instantly it was the boy from the past only much older. The father looked unchanged. He even wore a big cowboy hat like he’d worn that day a few years before.

Oh my gosh what? HOW DID SHE KNOW THIS INSTANTLY? How does she not know instantly now that this is Max? My commentary is so unnecessary here. The book has achieved new levels of ridiculous that I could not have even imagined.

Mia remembers that the boy in the dream/memory is introduced as Max. Guys, do you think this is the Max from this book? He’s wearing a cowboy hat, so it’s a bit suspicious. But everyone from Texas is legally required to wear cowboy hats and lots people are named Max, so I bet it’s a coincidence. The memory ends with Max’s dad trying to get Mia’s mother’s phone number, but her telling them they’re better off without her. Somehow Mia’s dad is oblivious to everything.

Mia wakes up from her dream, and she must realize the truth now, right?

They were memories, ones that made one thing clear as day.

I knew Maxwell Cunningham and his father knew my mother.

Um…yeah, I guess that’s the one thing that’s clear.

Although, actually, I really am starting to wonder if Mia is Max’s half-sister, and the will thing was just the dumbest cover story ever.