Site icon Bad Books, Good Times

Calendar Girl (September) Chapter 4: Are you There, God? It’s Me, Mia

Matthew went on holiday for what like a week and this is what happens on the blog? This is live footage of Matthew returning:

Calendar Girl (September) Chapter 4:

We open with Mia praying to God. We get the usual, “Hey, I don’t come here often, but uh, what’s up, God?” type comments. She wants to know that Wes is okay:

“…I’d know if he was dead. Wouldn’t I? I mean, You make these soulmate connections, right? Soulmates feel the other in a way that’s not describable. Therefore, if my other half wasn’t on this Earth anymore, I’d feel it.”

At this point, God is like, ‘I mean sure if you’re reading a story with fantasy or supernatural elements…wait is that what this story has been all along? makes…okay no this still makes no fucking sense what is going on here? I didn’t authorise this.”

Mia then gives God the whole speech she wants to give Wes about love. This is awkward for God.

The next day, Mia wakes up to texts from Blaine demanding she meet him for dinner to discuss how she can make up her missed payments. Mia refuses and tells him she’ll pay him back with 5% interest. The whole thing is so underwhelming because Mia has multiple avenues to pay make up the missed monthly payments. I get Wes is missing, but WHAT ABOUT MAX? His whole MO is that he would literally do anything for Mia, and she could just pay him back as soon as the inheritance stuff is worked out. Why is this an issue?

The simple truth was, I didn’t have his money, and there was no way I was going to be able to make it magically appear.

Blatant lie! She tries to explain it’s because she can’t bear the thought of asking Max for money right away, but again, he’s already offered without Mia asking for the money! In the last book! And she’s offering to pay him back. I can’t with this.

Blaine keeps trying to insist on dinner, and Mia reminds us? Tells us for the first time? About when Blaine cheated on her.

Now again. It’s like he forgot that he cheated on me with not one woman but two— at the same fucking time— the very day he proposed.

This is…such a weird detail. Seriously, has this come up before?

Blaine had offered me the world— jewels, a penthouse apartment overlooking the strip. The works. Said I wouldn’t have to worry about anything but looking beautiful and taking care of my man.

So Mia showed him and found a brother and a new boyfriend who offered her the same exact thing!

We get like six more pages of reminders about how bad Blaine is (though he is still barely a character in this series despite being the antagonist) before Mia gets word that her father is doing better. She sends Blaine some more texts refusing his dinner invite, and he threatens her, but Mia ignores him and goes to see her dad.

Everyone is excited because Pops is breathing on his own again.

The doctor took a breath. “We don’t know for sure, but it’s definitely a good sign. In my experience, patients who start breathing on their own end up getting stronger far more quickly. The problem in your father’s case is that he was already in a coma. One we couldn’t explain.

I love this doctor. He’s so straight up like, “Guys, we’re not even going to try to pretend we understand wtf is going on in this story either.” This is an A+ dude.

Mia comforts Maddie and gives her hope:

“…He’s been through a lot, but he has us to come back to. That has to count for something. It has to be enough.”

Max, of course, makes it creepy.

Max came up behind us and tugged us into the warmth of his broad chest. “It’s enough. Believe me, ladies, you two are more than enough.”

Stop! Stop talking like this now, sir!

Later, Warren calls Mia and tells him that Wes is confirmed to have been kidnapped.

“…the team being held includes Weston and Gina DeLuca, the lead actress in the film.”

Oh no not only is Wes being held by terrorists, but he’s with the sexy star of his film who he used to hook up with! JEALOUS. I’m not kidding, Mia is actually like UG about Gina right now.

Then shit gets fucking awful…like I don’t know if I can laugh at it? I mean it’s so absurd and out of place in this story, but it’s terrible. The government was sent a video and it shows Wes talking to one of the member’s of his crew, and then the guy gets beheaded in front of him. Like what the hell, Calendar Girl? What have you become? Wasn’t this supposed to be an erotic novel?

I kid you not, Mia is like, “I can heal Wes with my body.”

I’d take it all away with my words, my body, and by loving him more than he’d ever known in this lifetime.

NOW IS NOT THE TIME, GIRL.

Advertisements
Exit mobile version