Calendar Girl (October) Chapter 1: Mia Calls Alec, I’m So Sorry

Well, we’re back with the 10th instalment of Calendar Girl, and though it’s unclear where the hell we’re going with the story anymore, I’m glad we’re staying on this wild ride until the bitter end.

Calendar Girl (October) Chapter 1:

Mia mixes the drama of Wes returning from his kidnapping with her getting used to referring to Wes’ mansion as her home. It’s very weird to read:

Silence. That’s what greeted me when I entered Wes’s Malibu home. My home. I don’t know what I expected. Perhaps the thought crossed my mind that the universe would suddenly open up and deliver heaven on Earth in the form of my man safe and sound on American soil, standing in the comfort of our home. Because ultimately, that’s what it was. Our home. Wes had been adamant that I change my way of thinking about what Gin referred to as the Malibu mansion.

…the universe would make sure Wes came home safe and sound because Mia was finally ready to call this her home? Checks out.

Then Mia explains that even though Wes offered to look for a totally new place together, she wanted to just “immerse [herself] in everything that was him.” I’ll just go ahead and add this to the ever-growing list of things that are incredibly unhealthy about their relationship.

We get a long detour about all the new decorations Wes added sometime before he was kidnapped while Mia was Max’s client (remember when Mia’s long-lost brother hired her as an escort and then didn’t tell her they were related? Great times.) The timeline feels off to me – I thought Wes was filming for awhile before he was kidnapped? I was also confused about why he’d put a small statue of a ballerina above their fireplace, but it turns out it was Mia’s mother…which leads to a long detour about Mia’s complicated feelings about her mother.

It had pride of place on the mantle, and as much as I wanted to knock it off, let it crash to the ground, I left it there. Had I not wanted to keep it, the item would have been donated. Sometimes memories hurt, even the really beautiful ones.

The sad thing is – I like that last sentence! It’s just the way we got there was so forced. It’s a shame really.

And it’s not even over! Mia continues to “survey the living room” just so she can have an excuse to go on tangents about Maddy and how Mia felt when she went off to college. Just because she sees Wes put out a photograph of Maddy! This is aggressively boringly awful, you guys.

We went from class to class as she showed me each one of her courses and what the program book said she’d be learning in them.

I promise you, this is teaching us nothing new about Mia or Maddy that we didn’t already get from all the other times Mia has asserted that Maddy is her entire world and she loves her a lot. It’s filler because apparently nothing else is happening in October. 

Continuing my journey into the kitchen, I found a collage of images held by magnets to the fridge.

This is a joke right? Mia can’t possibly go on for more pages about these pictures of her and characters that we already know her relationship to. Is this meant for readers who are beginning this series in book ten? Who are these people? Why are these people?

Finally, Mia enters their bedroom and sees that Wes has put one of the “portraits” of Mia that Alec took when they were in Seattle together…does she mean a photograph? Or he took the photo and then made a portrait? Anyway, this leads to Mia flashing back and recapping that whole scene and everything going on in her life at that time. Robot Mia desperately needs her flashback settings adjusted.

Mia calls Alec and simultaneously sends him a photo of the photo.

A few clicks could be heard. “Ah, mais oui, you are seeing you, non?”

“Ah, but yes, you are seeing you, no?” Alec is even dumber than I remember him. Obviously Mia is seeing herself! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE JUST SENT HIM A VISUAL CONFIRMATION OF!

There are moments in time when a person wants to reach through a phone and strangle the person they’re talking to.

I have never agreed with Mia more (or possibly ever.) However, Mia is annoyed that he doesn’t get her confusion or frustration over the fact that this picture is in her boyfriend’s bedroom. It seems kind of weird to be annoyed specifically about this given Alec would have zero information about where Wes put this or that it was Mia’s boyfriend who purchased the picture. In fact, Alec seems to have forgotten Mia has a boyfriend even though she definitely told him they couldn’t flirt/hook up anymore because she was taken.

Alec gasped. “Ma jolie, you have a copain? A boyfriend?” The word rolled around in his French accent almost making me forget I was annoyed that he wasn’t getting it. “You have made a life commitment. Félicitations!” He congratulated me, yet provided no answer as to why the art was there.

I groaned.  “Alec, honey, pay attention.”

He hummed. “Oh, chérie, you always have my attention. Especially when you are bare to me. I can remember exactly what it felt like to have you in my arms that month. You recall, oui?”

What is wrong with this guy?

Alec goes on a tangent to explain he refuses to sell two of the pieces of art he made of Mia – one of which is the painting of them having sex, which he has hanging on his wall. He also only sold the other paintings to be people he vetted personally. This makes no fucking sense. Why would any of these people agree to be interviewed to buy his art? They’re not adopting a child.

So Wes went in for an interview with Alec. Wes impressed Alec with his chill about the past Alec/Mia relationship, so Alec told Wes if he picked the right art…he would sell it to him. I hate Alec. In fact, Alec is so impressed that he chose right that he just gifted Wes the art…that is worth half a million dollars apparently. WHAT THE HELL? MIA SELL THIS PAINTING AND PAY OFF YOUR DEBTS! Turns out, Alec planned on giving Mia half of what he sold it for anyway.

I’m even more confused now as to why Alec pretending he didn’t know Mia had a boyfriend when she’d explicitely told him…and he’d met Wes in person. This dude.

The chapter ends with Mia having a dream about being with Wes. This chapter was just pure, unadulterated filler, let’s all be honest about that.