Beautiful Sacrifice Chapter 20: Falyn Says They Were SO NOT On A Break

Previously, WE WERE ON A BREAAAAAAAK

Beautiful Break: Chapter 20

WE WERE ON A BREAAAAAK

ok fine I’ll write the post. I’m just trying to save y’all some time.

Previously, we attended Travis and Abby’s vow renewal ceremony from Falyn’s point of view. We got cameos from Maddox brothers and Maddox brother love interests past and future. None of them stood out because they’re all incredibly interchangeable. We meet Ellie, the main character of the next (and last!) book. Ariel read that chapter and thought Ellie was super weird. I read that chapter and got bummed out I’m not reading Ellie’s book which at least seems way more interesting than the one I’m currently reading. If only we were… on a b

Beautiful Sacrifice: Chapter 20

The ceremony ends, everyone sobs about how beautiful it was, and Falyn does the one thing we saw her do before this book started, which doesn’t seem any less weird and forced in this context either, since she still doesn’t know any of these damn people:

I held up my phone to Thomas and Liis. “Say cheese!”
Thomas stood behind Liis, enveloping her in his arms, and kissed her cheek.
I snapped the picture and then flipped my phone around to show them the result. “Perfect.”
Thomas hugged her to his chest. “She is.”
“Aw, cute,” I said.

AND THUS WE HAVE COME FULL CIRCLE

Taylor and Falyn playfully flirt a little bit. Ellison and Tyler continue to be more entertaining than Falyn and Taylor despite being basically the same people.

“What is all that about?” I asked Taylor.
“Oh, Liis and Camille?”
I nodded.
Ellison leaned in. “They both dated Thomas. It’s going to be awkward for a while, but it’ll get better.”
“Well, you’ve both kissed the same guy,” Tyler said.
Ellison playfully punched him, but the contact still made a thud.

I know as soon as we start reading their story I’m going to hate every single second of my time with them. Just let me pine over how they actually seem like they have mildly amusing banter when observed from a distance before we go back to Taybore and Snoryn.

“Goddamn, I’m glad you’re here,” he said, leaning the remaining inches to kiss the corner of my mouth. “I was really sweating it until you texted me.”
“I told you I would come.”
He scanned my face and touched his thumb to my bottom lip. “I want you. Just you. Nothing else. I’m not just content with that, Falyn. You’re not part of what I want. You’re everything I want. Anything else is a bonus.”

OH MY GOD, JUST START HAVING THE FIGHT YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY GOING TO HAVE ALREADY.

Falyn can’t help but notice that, after two weeks apart, she desperately wants to jump Taylor’s bones. They dance at the party after the ceremony and stay out fairly late, and Taylor gets utterly shitfaced and falling-over drunk. Falyn, as always, does not drink. No, the story never acknowledges that Taylor can’t consent to sex right now. It does the opposite.

“I’m trying to be polite, but all I can think about is getting you back to the room.”
“We’ll see them tomorrow. It’s been a long day. I think they’ll understand,” I said, unable to even pretend I wanted to stay a second longer.

But on their way back to their room, they’re interrupted by crossover magic!

“You act as if loving someone can just be flipped off like a light switch. We’ve had this conversation a dozen times. I want you. I’m with you.”
Taylor froze, and I ran into him from behind.
“Sorry,” Taylor whispered, but he wasn’t being as quiet as he likely thought. “That’s Tommy.”

They eavesdrop on the fight from Beautiful (googles which book in this series is which) Redemption where Thomas accidentally calls Liis by his ex’s name. Thought that scene was dramatic before? Wait until it’s out of context and in another book where some unrelated dipshits spell out what it means for you!

Liis cried. “You’ve made me believe all weekend that you were falling for me!”
“I am! I have! Jesus Christ, Camille, how can I get that through your head?”
“Oh, fuck,” Taylor said. “That’s not good.”
“Did he just call her Camille?” I asked, horrified.
Taylor nodded

WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IN A DIFFERENT STORY? BEAUTIFUL REDEMPTION, IN STORES NOW!

Liis storms off, and Thomas wanders off to encounter Taylor and Falyn. I’m gonna be honest, I don’t remember anything about who Thomas is supposed to be as a character except that he seemed like less of a bro than his younger brothers. Well, let’s watch him climb up the toxic masculinity ladder as he very obviously encourages his piss-drunk brother to lie to Falyn about something important:

“Hey, man. You all right?” Taylor asked, using me to steady himself.
Thomas’s expression softened from anger to concern. “How much have you had to drink?”
“A lot,” I said.
“Not that much,” Taylor said at the same time.
Thomas glanced at me and then leaned closer to his brother. “Remember what I said. Just sleep it off. You know how you get.”

Aaaaand then tries to force Falyn into going along with it:

He looked at me. “Make sure he goes straight to bed. No shower. Don’t even undress him. Just get him into bed, so he can pass out.”
I frowned. I’d seen Taylor drunk before. He had been wasted on New Year’s Eve. I was the sad drunk. Taylor just liked to talk a lot—like, until sunrise. But I liked it. He was honest and shameless about his thoughts and feelings on everything. There was no filter, no holding back.
“Falyn?” Thomas said in an authoritative voice.
“I heard you,” I said, unappreciative of the order.

Jesus, I’m glad one of these women finally got fed up with a Maddox bro telling her what was best for her. Maybe it only works when it’s not the one they’re fucking destined to love forever.

Falyn gets Taylor back to their room and demands to know what’s going on.

“What is going on with you?”
“Nothing,” he said, pulling me up to stand. […]
“Does it have something to do with what Thomas said?”
He shook his head. “No.”

lol jk she tries to jump his bones even though he’s too drunk to give consent! ROMANCE!

I crawled on top of him, and his hands found their way to my hips. He groaned as I sucked on his bottom lip, and his erection formed beneath me as I kissed him.

Taylor tells Falyn he just wants to go to sleep. Falyn’s voice jumps “an octave higher” and she protests. Class act, that Falyn. Taylor starts mumbling about how he doesn’t want Falyn to leave him, and then he starts mumbling not-so-discreetly about doing things he shouldn’t have done. Falyn finally figures it out.

My lips parted as the truth set in.
“Baby, I swear to God, I didn’t know we were still together. That’s not an excuse because I shouldn’t have done it anyway.”
“What did you do?”

“You went home with someone.”
“I… the bar was across the street from Thomas’s place. She came back with me.”
“So, he knows,” I said, rolling my eyes at my own words. “Of course he knows. He didn’t want you to tell me.”
“He didn’t believe you’d forgive me.”
“I won’t.” […] I hopped off the bed.

Can we talk about how somehow the shittiest person in this story is Thomas, who had maybe half a dozen lines of dialogue in this story, tops, and then fucked off back to his own story?

Falyn lets Taylor have it.

“I admit that what I did was shitty. [But] You said you were thinking about it. You were thinking about our future and whether you wanted to be with me despite the fact that I’m barren. And you go fuck someone? […] Don’t touch me.”

“You can’t what?”
“Do this.” I looked over at him. “I can’t stay with you now. It’s not fair for you to even ask.”
“You’re right. It’s not. But I don’t give a fuck. I can’t lose you again.”

“Thomas didn’t want you to tell me, but you did anyway. Why?”
“I was going to tell you. I had to before we—”
“You didn’t use anything?”
“I can’t remember,” he said, ashamed.

Falyn storms off to the bathroom to contemplate how much more complicated everything just got. She cries and tries to pull herself together before she goes back to face Taylor.

“I’m going to stay,” I said. “We have a lot to work out. But don’t make me feel like I need to console you. When you’re around me, you’re going to have to suck it up.”
He nodded […] “Can I hold you?” he asked.
“No,” I said simply, lying down and turning my back to him.

Ok, I talk a lot of shit about McGuire’s writing and how cookie-cutter these beautiful Maddox brother books are, but I’m being 100% serious that the last sentence in this chapter is… shockingly beautiful?

We had spent enough nights together that I knew he wasn’t asleep, too, just by the way he breathed, but we lay there, not speaking, not touching, both of us feeling tortured.

Honestly. I love the quiet pain in this moment. There’s good tension here between how much they share and how much distance there is between them now. “We had spent enough nights together that I knew he wasn’t asleep, too” is a detail that just feels lived in, showing not telling, inviting the reader into a very specific emotional hell. This might be my favorite thing Jamie McGuire’s ever written.