A Court of Wings and Ruin Chapter 1: Everything Is Very Chill

Surprise! It’s back! Book three of Sarah J Maas’ A Court of Thorns and Roses fantasy/romance/political maneuvering series, motherfuckers!

Previously… wow, fuck, it’s been a little while since we wrapped up A Court of Mist and Fury, huh? Maybe we should quickly recap what happened in the first two books in this series? In case you forgot what happened like I did

A Very Quick Recap of ACOTOR and ACOMAF

There’s this world named Prythian where there’s mortal humans and immortal faeries, and this young woman Feyre – ok, fuck, I’m already bored. I need a different way to do this.

A Very Quick Recap of ACOTAR and ACOMAF, To The Tune of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Theme Song

Now this is the story all about how
Feyre’s life got flipped turned upside down
I’d like to take a thousand pages (actually it’s more)
And tell you how Feyre became the High Lady of Night Court

In south, south Prythian, born and raised
In the forest near the Wall, she spent most of her days
Huntin’ game, paintin’, feedin’ her fam,
And then shootin’ a wolf (but turns out it’s a trap!)
When a faerie in disguise who was up to no good
Started makin’ trouble in her neighborhood
He had this one little curse, so he kidnapped Feyre
And said “You’re movin’ in with Tamlin and Lucien in Spring Court” (…Feyre!)

Feyre cried and feared she would be a faerie’s feast
But it turned out to be the plot of Beauty and the Beast
The two fell in love, dad and sisters got some riches
Feyre kinda shrugged and said “I might as well kick it”
But bad guy Rhysand found her, yo, this is bad
So Tamlin sent her home, but she came right back
Queen Amarantha already took him captive
Feyre came to save him like, “A riddle? Yo, I got this”
The curse was lifted and it’s a complicated story
Am killed Feyre, Tam killed Am, and it was very gory
But Rhysand got the High Lords to all save Feyre’s life
(Because Rhys secretly wanted her to be his wife!)

Feyre and Tamlin got engaged and when the wedding came near
Rhysand showed up like “whoops, Feyre and I had made a deal”
Rhys takes Feyre, “yo homes, to Night Court!”
Also it’s the sequel now, so Tamlin is the worst?
Turns out Rhysand is the good guy (tbh this is debatable)
Feyre makes new friends, “hey, Tamlin, smell ya later, yo”
And then not much happens and the real villain shows up:
The King of Hybern, mortal queens, and Tamlin (who now sucks)
The King offers the human queens a little immortality
And tests the Cauldron on Feyre’s sisters (and Lucien loves one unconditionally?)
Their plan to save the world having just gone really wrong
Feyre acts like she was under Rhysand’s love spell all along
Tamlin takes her back, but Rhysand knows the score
Because now she’s really the High Lady of Night Court

If I left something out, just read the ACOTAR wiki like I did because I’m fucking never doing that again.

A Court of Wings and Ruin: Prologue Thing

The book starts with a prologue from Rhysand’s perspective set two years before the Wall, during the War, because sure, fuck it, why would I actually write a summary about the chapter of this book that I mentioned in the title of this post any fewer than seven, eight hundred words into the post?

The buzzing flies and screaming survivors had long since replaced the beating war-drums.
The killing field was now a tangled sprawl of corpses, human and faerie alike

And ya know, it’s fine. ACOTAR was always more of a “this story makes no sense, the characters aren’t consistently written, I don’t know what its themes are supposed to be” bad book than it was a “this writing is terrible” bad book. Although that definitely depends on your personal taste, as the writing tends to flirt with sounding melodramatic or like a song from Blink-182’s goth phase:

Flies already crawled along eyes gazing unblinkingly upward. They didn’t differentiate between mortal and immortal flesh.

Like so.

Rhysand describes a terrible battle in which his father ordered him to defend a keep from being captured by Loyalist forces, which went on for days, cost reinforcements after reinforcements, very aware every single one of them was heading for a slaughter, and then finally ended with the Loyalist army in retreat.

The kingdoms and territories that wanted their human slaves would not lose this war unless they had no other choice. And even then … We’d learned the hard way, very early on, that they had no regard for the ancient rules and rites of battle.

I’m glad we finally have a flashback to the most important event in Prythian’s history to give us keen insights like “people are surprised that the people who want to defend slavery are not honorable”. A Court of Wings and Ruin came out in 2017 when apparently everyone finds this sort of thing surprising in the real world too. What a time to be alive.

It’s a short, but emotional passage where Rhysand looks through the fields of dead for anyone he recognizes. And then, at last…

Part One: Princess of Carrion

Ok, almost there.

A Court of Wings and Ruin: Chapter 1

We did it, guys! We’re at chapter one!

The chapter is also titled “Feyre” so I’m guessing we’re getting a bunch of chapters from Rhysand’s perspective in this book too. That sounds… toxic…

Feyre is painting some roses and straight chillin’, which is 100% why it’s very important to remember that the last book ended with her pretending she was under a spell and still in love with Tamlin and goes back to Spring Court with him, because this is a bit of a shift in tone.

The painting was a lie.

I don’t know why I reminded you about the melodrama thing. Feyre is pretty determined to remind you herself.

I’d begun it yesterday, an idle study of the rose garden lurking beyond the open windows of the studio. […] If I’d painted this glimpse into the court the way my gut had urged me, it would have been flesh-shredding thorns [and] flowers that choked off the sunlight for any plants smaller than them

Guys do you think this is a metaphor for something I’m not sure

I supposed that in the past weeks, I had crafted my demeanor as intricately as one of these paintings.

Ok, we’re just gonna skip ahead to the bit where Tamlin and Lucien show up. I love when characters in books have hobbies and all, but I dunno how much of Feyre the Moody, Very Serious Artist I can take.

We learn that Feyre is in a new room now because Tamlin destroyed her old room after she left him for Rhysand. Don’t forget, Tamlin sucks now. You didn’t even need a summary of the first book, really, in retrospect. It doesn’t feature any of the same characters.

Tamlin tells Feyre that the three of them have a meeting with Ianthe, the High Priestess who was apparently working with Tamlin but betrayed them, most notably selling out Feyre’s human sisters to the King of Hybern. Feyre tells us she’s looking forward to fucking destroying Ianthe. Tamlin is like “I’m sure she had a good reason for betraying all of us.” Don’t forget, Tamlin is a fucking dolt now.

Also, perhaps you remember that Lucien is the only person who didn’t believe Feyre’s “oh no! I’ve totally been under a love spell the whole time!” ruse. Somehow. I really can’t stress this enough. Tamlin may have reappeared after being absent for almost all of book 2, but his brain’s whereabouts are still unknown.

It was Lucien who answered, studying my painting as if it held the proof I knew he was searching for. “Yes. She … had her reasons. She is willing to explain them to you.”

But Lucien’s kept his doubts to himself because he fell in magic predestined love at first sight (still a real thing in these books) with Feyre’s sister, Elain, whom he thinks is being held captive by Rhysand, so he has to sort of stay on her good side. Honestly, I never thought I’d say this, but thank god for ACOTAR‘s predestined mate bullshit: Lucien’s conflicting motives will probably mean he’s the only interesting character we’re gonna get in this book for a while. Feyre can’t narrate anything without being like “I allowed it because not allowing it […] would ruin my ruse” every other page, like we’re unfamiliar with the very concept of being sneaky.

On their way to the meeting, Lucien and Feyre have a conversation out of earshot of Tamlin where they get to drop a little bit of pretense.

“it sounds like you’ve already chosen not to believe her.”
[Lucien] fell into step beside me. “She dragged two innocent women into this.”
“She was working to ensure Hybern’s alliance held strong.”
Lucien halted me […] “You’re smarter than that. […] Where is he keeping her?”
I knew who he meant.

You see what I mean about how Feyre’s explaining the entire book to us, right? Goddamn, it’s a shame that our best character right now is basically just whining “MY MATE” like he’s doing a fantasy Borat impression.

“I need to find her.”
“You don’t even know Elain.”

Even. The characters. In this book. Think the mate stuff. Is stupid.

They have their meeting with Ianthe, the High Priestess. Feyre cannot wait to hear what kinda bullshit she’s got for them about betraying them to the King of Hybern. I can’t wait to see how flat this scene is gonna land since it’s about a character who appeared for maybe twenty pages at the beginning of the last book selling them out to a character who appeared for maybe twenty pages at the end of the last book.

“I wish to begin by saying how truly sorry I am. I acted out of a desire to … to grant what I believed you perhaps yearned for but did not dare voice, while also keeping our allies in Hybern satisfied with our allegiance.” […]
finding her true motive … I’d been waiting these weeks for this meeting. […] “Why would I ever wish for my sisters to endure that?” My voice came out trembling, cold.
Ianthe lifted her head, scanning my unsure, if not a bit aloof, face. “So you could be with them forever.”

Tamlin, who is a fucking moron now, is like, “Yep, that checks out. Now, you be good now!”

Lucien answered, “If you expect our gratitude, you’ll be waiting a while, Ianthe.”
Tamlin shot him a warning look—both at the words and the tone. […] “we’ve already agreed to certain conditions. Sacrifices. If we break apart now … even with Hybern as our ally, we have to present a solid front. Together.”
He still trusted her. Still thought that Ianthe had merely made a bad call. Had no idea what lurked beneath

They keep talking and Feyre learns that at least Tamlin doesn’t trust Hybern enough to move his citizens to the eastern part of his territory juuust in case… which also tells Feyre that Hybern will be arriving in the western part of the country. Good detective work, Feyre!

The chapter ends with Tamlin informing everyone btw their allies they totally trust are arriving tomorrow.

“The first delegation from Hybern arrives tomorrow.” Lucien’s golden skin paled. Tamlin added, “Jurian will be here by noon.”

“Wait, Matthew, you left Jurian out of the Fresh Prince summary rap!” YEAH, AND SARAH J MASS LEFT JURIAN OUT OF ALMOST THIS ENTIRE SERIES UNTIL THE CLIMAX OF THE LAST BOOK. YOU TELL ME WHY THE FUCK HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE IMPORTANT.

And speaking of the summary of ACOTAR and ACOMAF to the tune of the theme song from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air… well… let’s just say anyone who’s pledging to our patreon… should check it… for a video… OK BYE FIND US ON PATREON

Or you can now support us with a one-time donation vis a vis a cup of coffee? You don’t get to see me rap, but tbh you might come out on top on that deal