It’s been a hot minute, but previously the sponge was evil and Goosebumps tried to figure out who the hell owned it/was cursed by it.
But right now they have no idea where the grool even is omg.
Chapter 23:
Carlo hazards a guess that some kids he raced earlier might have picked up his gross dirty sponge for…reasons. You know, because if you saw a dirty sponge on the ground your first instinct would be to snatch it up.
“Carlo,” Daniel whispered nervously. “Those guys are really big. They look like they’re in high school.”
I spotted two older boys standing on the side of the baseball field. Their heads were bent, and they were staring at something in the taller boy’s hands.
Okay, you might have convinced me that some kids would pick up a sponge…but why would teenagers have picked this up???
The Grool!
I ran up to them. “Hey, how’s it going?” I said in my friendliest voice. “I know this sounds dumb, but you’ve got my favorite sponge. Can I have it back?”
Yes, this sounds very dumb.
“Your favorite sponge?” he repeated. He grinned. “Sorry. You’re mistaken. This is my favorite sponge.”
This dude deserves whatever punishment the grool has in store for him.
For some reason this fool refuses to return this gross, dirty, worthless sponge. Even after he’s warned that the sponge is evil!
He made a big show of tucking the sponge into his back pocket — where he knew I couldn’t get it.
He stepped to the plate, crouched in a batter’s stance …
Thwock!
The very first pitch beaned the guy in the head.
Good.
The sponge falls out of his pocket, and for NO FUCKING REASON, his friend grabs it and throws it, telling our heroes to go chase it.
Chapter 24:
The kids collect the sponge and bike ride home until…
I heard the blare of a horn and the shrill squeal of brakes.
I turned around in time to see an enormous black and silver truck skidding over the street, about to crush me like a bug.
Chapter 25:
Whew everything is fine! The driver avoids hitting Kat and shouts at her that she shouldn’t be out in the street. Other than that, things are fine, and the kids continue home.
In a fit of rage Main Character tries to run over the grool with her bike, and it gets, for lack of a better word, aroused.
“Look at it!” Daniel shouted, pointing. “The Grool is getting even more excited. You’re helping it, not hurting it!”
I lowered my eyes to the Grool. It pulsed faster than before.
Am I crazy, or is this grool super sexual?
I know most Goosebumps books aren’t masterpieces, but this one just is particularly boring. It’s just been the same exact thing for so many chapters now! Now Kat decides to try to shove the sponge into the garbage disposal???? Yes, that’s going to be the thing that breaks the curse.
But it’s not at all.
Chapter 26:
The grool is fine and in one piece again. It “throbs with joy” (omg ew!!) and is clearly better than ever.
They decide to try to read the book with the info about grools in it again because maybe they missed something important.
He started reading: “The Grool cannot be killed — by force or by any violent means.”
“That’s it?” I demanded. “There’s nothing else?”
Oh, girl.
But then Kat is like, “AHA! Not by force! I have an idea!!”
Chapter 27:
Kat starts singing to the grool and being very kind to it. Oh god she is literally going to kill it with kindness isn’t she, and it’s also going to sound weirdly sexual, isn’t it?
I forced myself to stroke the Grool lovingly.
[…]
The Grool’s violent throbbing had slowed to a gentle pulse.
The grool is so loved that it dies.
Chapter 28:
I have no idea how there is still more story to wrap up here. Oh wait, Kat has to explain to Daniel and Carlo what just happened. She tells them the grool was so evil it couldn’t stand to be loved, which is one of the saddest things I’ve ever written on this blog.
But then they hear spooky breathing behind them, and they think the grool is back, but I bet you the dog is back.
Chapter 29:
THE DOG IS BACK SOMEHOW!
Now that the grool is dead, everyone rejoices and flowers literally come back to life.
We hurried into the ice-cream parlor. “Table for three,” Daniel said with a grin. The waitress seated us, handed out menus, and wiped the table with a … sponge!
“Yuck! Get that thing out of here!” Daniel shrieked.
The waitress didn’t understand. But we all laughed —
These children need to find a therapist who specialises in sponge-trauma.
They return home, and the dog is upset by something under the sink. Kat is like, “Everyone calm down, it’s just a potato.”
But then the potato bites her and it has a mouthful of teeth???? What the fuck kind of house did these people move into??? I hope Netflix makes a Hill House style original series about this.