Hello, friends! Sorry for the impromptu break. Much like our new hero Maxim, I have RESPONSIBILITIES!!!! But here I am, back with chapter three of The Mister!
Previously Alessia saw her very first naked man and he was none other than our angsty treadmill-runnin’, thames-starin’ hero Maxim! She cleans Maxim’s fancy flat by day and also plays his piano in secret by day.
The Mister Chapter 3:
Maxim is cranky because his friends want to fence with him, but now that his brother is dead, Maxim has RESPONSIBILITIES! He goes to da club to forget his troubles and hopefully meet someone to hook up with. Just in case you weren’t sure what this guy was all about!
I hope we’re all on the same page that Maxim’s whole character arc will be: He went to da club to hook up…until he didn’t go to da club anymore because true love. A journey I truly can’t wait to be taken on.
At the club, Maxim considers whether or not he’ll miss modeling now that he has RESPONSIBILITIES! But will he miss it? Maybe.
I also got to meet hot, skinny women.
I take a slug of my drink and scan the room. That’s what I want now: a hot, willing woman, skinny or otherwise.
It’s Let’s Fuck Thursday.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 48). Random House. Kindle Edition.
Let it be known that this is the start of a new worldwide holiday. (Just checking. but is that actually a thing? Am I just not as hip with the kids as E L James? You can tell me, I can take it.)
In no time at all, he finds a sexy lady and brings her home.
She tastes of lipstick and Jägermeister – an intriguing combination.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 48). Random House. Kindle Edition.
Intriguing is a generous word. That sounds nasty.
An inordinate amount of time is spent focussed on how this sexy lady–Leticia–keeps scratching, and his internal thoughts about this amused me greatly as they sound so similar to Christian Grey’s inner thoughts. It’s like coming home!
I present to you, a montage!
She puts her hands on my chest and rakes her nails over my sternum to the edge of my jacket.
Shit! It’s almost painful. She has scarlet talons, not nails, talons that match her lipstick.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 49). Random House. Kindle Edition.
The mood she’s in, I’m relieved that she takes her time and doesn’t just rip my shirt open – I like this shirt! Slipping it off me, she lets it fall to my feet and digs her nails into my shoulders.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 49). Random House. Kindle Edition.
‘Cool ink,’ she says as her hands travel from my shoulders down my arms and towards the waistband of my jeans, her nails leaving tracks across my stomach.
Ow! Boy, she’s aggressive.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 50). Random House. Kindle Edition.
There she pushes me towards the bed and again rakes her nails over my belly as her fingers find the top button of my jeans.
Fuck! She likes it rough.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 50). Random House. Kindle Edition.
She drags her nails down my abdomen towards my flies.
Ow! Fuck this! She’s dangerous.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 51). Random House. Kindle Edition.
Finally, in an act of self-defense, Maxim convinces her to be restrained. Whew! He had to find some way to protect himself without sacrificing getting laid. This man is totally fit to run an empire, I don’t know why he’s so afraid of not being able to fill his brother’s shoes.
The next day after some angsting about an upcoming lunch with his mother and sister (uh oh! I smell MORE family drama!), Maxim wanders into the kitchen only to come face to face with none other than Alessia!
I turn around at the kitchen entrance and halt. I’m expecting to see Leticia, but a slight young woman stands in the hallway staring at me. Her eyes are large and dark, reminding me of a startled doe, but she’s dressed in a ghastly blue housecoat, cheap overwashed jeans, old trainers, and a blue headscarf that conceals her hair.
She says nothing.
‘Hi. Who the hell are you?’ I ask.
James, E L. The Mister (p. 54). Random House. Kindle Edition.
The chemistry is electric.
If you enjoyed today’s post, please consider buying the BBGT writers a cup of coffee, it means a lot to us!
Or consider becoming a Patron to support the blog!
the idea of ELJ being hip to the kids got an awful laugh out of me
I’m so glad because I was genuinely terrified I’d get a lot of comments like, “Um yes…She’s got her finger on the pulse of the YOUTHS right now.”
So, lately James announced that her next book* might be a BDSM-themed gay novel because then she would be able to write something without a power-imbalance caused by gender-roles**. Seems such things are necessary because non-weak women are apparently so non-realistic that they shatter the readers suspension of disbelief harder than the deus-ex-machina finale of my planned “Harry Potter and the Smurfs fight Emperor Palpatine” fanfic (original content, plz not steal!!!) and will prevent us from enjoying her smut.
(* As soon as she has decided if she wants to rip off Supernatural, Sherlock or something from Austen (if she manages to dumb down the characters, that is).)
(** Don’t worry, I fully believe in her ability to find the most unrealistic offensive masc!top / fem!bottom stereotypes ever and use them accordingly well.)
Literally what could go wrong.
I also refuse to believe that “her fans” were clamoring for m/m erotica. A looooot of her fans had probably never read a romance novel prior to 50SoG nor read one since, and if “down there” is a dizzying height of sexual awakening, making the leap to “and also two dudes banging is super hot” seems unlikely at best. The most likely scenario is that she realized that there’s an enormous market for m/m erotica and changed course accordingly, but she can’t just outright SAY that.
Just saying, I would looooove to hear from her fans who truly wanted her to write m/m erotica so badly that they reached out to her with this amazing business opportunity.
Leticia is our savior who tried to kill the next Christian Grey using her nails