Fifty Shades of Weird Searches

By now many of you know about the odd searches that lead people to this blog. I even made a post specifically for all the searches related to Christian Grey’s penis, so it seemed right to make a post highlighting my favorite, bizarre searches which have brought people to Bad Books, Good Times.

How I’ve decided to arrange this is in order of most commonly searched to least commonly searched. Basically, I’ve browsed our summary pages and scrolled down the lists, carefully selecting my favorites. The number within the parenthesis indicates how many searches we’ve had for that particular phrase. Sadly, they really did summarize these searches or something because there are definitely hilarious ones I remember seeing previously that are not on this list. But there is still a lot to enjoy.

1. Laters baby meaning (38) & what does laters baby mean (13) & what is the significance of laters, baby (2) – I love these because I’m not entirely sure how “Laters baby” is cause for any sort of confusion. I just imagine someone sitting at their computer all, “But what does it mean????”
2. How to fuck like christian grey (9) – I bet if James came out with a how-to guide it would be a best-seller too.
3. Christian grey email signatures (6) – Apparently this was compelling enough that it was searched for more than once.
4. When does christian claim anna’s ass? (5)
5. Fifty shades of grey anas first spanking (5)
6. Does christian grey ejaculate on ana (5)
7. How long does christian grey last (4)
8. Do christian and ana get back together (3) – Okay, really? Was there ever any doubt? Come on, searcher(s).
9. Anastasia steele schizophrenia (3) – I LOVE this one.
10. Fifty shades of grey rolling eyes spanking chapter (3) – Really? Just one chapter about this? Try a bajillion.
11. Fifty shades sex scene video (3) – ….what? Were they looking for Matt’s reading of a sex scene or for some sort of Fifty Shades porno.
12. Christian grey just fucked hair quote (3)
13. Does christian grey kill ana (3) – I wish!
14. How does anastasia of 50 shades of grey describe cum (3)
15. 50 shades grey ripped jeans (2)
16. Fifty shades ass
17. Did christian grey slap anastasia steele on her face (2)
18. It slips down my throat, all seawater (2) – What does this even mean?
19. Color underwear taylor bought ana (2)
20. 50 shades of grey. do women like big penises (2) – I think this a question better suited for Cosmo.
21. In fifty shades what does christian mean when he says”youre so tight” to ana (2) – He clearly means she’s tight as in cool. Not that her vag is tight or anything. This isn’t that type of book.
22. Is chinese food bad for your brain (2) – How on earth did this bring anyone to the blog?
23. Celestial choir fifty shades of grey (2)
24. If u r fifteen where can u go to fuck a cougar (2) – AHHHHHH!!! Someone call his parents RIGHT NOW!
25. How does christian grey give orgasms (2) – a multitude of ways. One of which, as Matt accurately pointed out, is voice-activation.
26. No good reason sip n shop (2) – Whaaaaaa? I don’t even remotely understand.
27. Print cristian grey sex contract (2) – No. That would be a waste of paper. It’s already printed in like a bajillion books, and it’s in each of these books three times. Don’t do it!
28. Who is going to play in seven shades of gray (2) – No one. Because that’s not the right number of shades for this series, you fool.
29. Spanking erection (2)
30. Kings of leon and bdsm (2)
31. Bad books good time grey tampon (2)
32. Shades of grey braded hair (2)
33. Movie where the guy asks her if she is wearing underwear and tells her to give it to him under the table (2)
34. Whats with the subconcious in fifty shades (2) – Fuck if I know.
35. Who doesn’t have a email address? (2) – If you answered “Anastasia Steele”, congratulations, you win!
36. Fifty shadesof grey blowjob piano (2)
37. Whats the name of the son christian grey’s says he always wanted to fuck to (2) – It took me awhile to understand that “son” was meant to be “song”, and I was initially very disturbed.
38. The debut of ana’s “inner goddess” – she performs oral sex on christian for the first time (“he’s my very own christian grey-flavored popsicle!”) and suddenly, her “inner goddess” is “doing the merengue with some salsa moves.” (2) – Dear God, someone took the time to write this elaborate fucking search!
39. My favorite sex scene in fifty shades (2) – There are just so many gems to choose from.
40. ‘I declare this ana open,’ he breathes, and cuts the plastic. (1)
41. Why does christian grey refer to genitals as sex? (1) – Because James made him.
42. What women think of grey designer stubble (1)
43. “You want it, you got it, baby,” he mutters, producing a foil packet from his pants pocket (1) – Omigosh this is one of my all time favorite lines!
44. Which chapters of 50 shades of grey have sex scenes (1) – A better question is “which don’t?”
45. What was the reason christian grey left georgia (1) – What an incredibly odd and specific thing to search! I wonder why the wanted to fact-check this.
46. Where does christain gray sniff panties (1) – All over da place.
47. “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince” fifty shades of grey who? (1) – Who?? That was obviously Ana’s mother! Cliche Queen herself!
48. In fifty shades of grey what does ihop mean? (1) – It still just means International House of Pancakes. Is this a real question?
49. Is there someone like christian grey? (1) – Probably. But how is google going to help you confirm this?
50. Her vagina is dangerously cheesy (1) – BAHAHAHA GREATEST EVER!