Christian Grey and Ana’s Lives Are In Danger or Something: Fifty Shades Darker Chapter Eight

Fair warning: There’s a sex scene in this chapter that I just don’t even bother writing about.

Chapter Eight

Christian Grey has run into his apartment to find out if his homicidal ex Leila is hiding in it! Ana waits outside, feeling helpless.

Oh. I feel so impotent.

Okay, technically the word “impotent” works here, but if you’re writing smut, the definition that comes to mind first isn’t going to be the non-sexual one. Anyway, Ana distracts herself by studying the paintings in Christian’s foyer.

I’ve never really looked at them before: all figurative paintings, all religious – the Madonna and child, all sixteen of them. How odd?

What I really like about this is that Ana just isn’t sure if they’re odd or not. Nor does she make any kind of connection between the paintings and Christian’s well-known mommy issues. But that’s okay, these aren’t things we have to expect our narrator to be able to do, although it does get old.

After determining that the apartment is safe, Ana gets ready to go to bed. Christian decides not to contact the police because Leila “needs help, not police intervention”, so “we just have to double our efforts to find her”, which is… a plan.

“You should be in satin or silk, Anastasia,” he breathes. “But even in my
T-shirt you look beautiful.”
Oh, an unexpected compliment.

See, even Ana’s getting tired of this shit.

“Can I take your shirt off?” I ask, my voice low. […]
“What about my pants, Miss Steele?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

Sigh… guess it’s time to get ready for another sex scene, everybody.

“You opened the balcony door?” he asks, frowning down at me as we
arrive in his room.

Oh, SNAP. You know what this means? NO SEX SCENE.

“No.” I don’t remember doing that. I recall scanning the room when I
woke. The door was definitely closed.

Just in case you weren’t sure if the door was closed or not.

This is where things get tricky.

Now, you enjoy reading about Ana having stupid ideas, right? That’s good, because things get crazy here. First, Christian learns that a mentally unstable ex who may be armed is in his apartment and decides that leaving with Ana is a good idea, which makes sense. Ana argues that they shouldn’t leave because Leila would have killed her already because she was in the same room, which makes… a lot less sense. Next, Christian’s security team is to stay behind and deal with the threat, which is likely to be, once again, a mentally unstable ex who may be armed, which makes sense and is their job. So Ana responds by saying that her dad was in the army and she knows how to use guns.

Basically, both Ana and Christian are really, really dumb vigilantes.

Somehow making Adam West’s Batman NOT the lamest vigilante billionaire.

So they leave the apartment.

The garage is deserted. Well, it is nearly three in the morning.

They drive to the hotel, giving them a great opportunity to talk about FEELINGS. Ana worries Christian still just wants her as a submissive! He doesn’t! Christian is worried Ana wants to leave her! She doesn’t! Ana is upset that Christian went to see Elena (Mrs. Robinson) after she left him! BUT HE DIDN’T.

“I didn’t go anywhere last weekend. I sat and made the glider you gave me. Took me forever,” he adds quietly.

Okay, fine, that stupid glider thing still gets me a little bit.

The next day Ana has her appointment with Dr. Greene, Christian Grey’s OBGYN he has for some reason, and she is maddddddd.

“And you just stopped taking it? Just like that?”
I flush, feeling beyond foolish.

Man, it’s almost like you shouldn’t just stop taking a daily medication that alters the way your body handles the reproductive process by effectively making your body think it’s pregnant when it isn’t! But seriously, although Dr. Greene was kind of really, really creepy the last time we saw her, I like her a lot more this time because we finally have a character who will not take Ana’s shit.

“Here, go pee in this.”

And then she gets sassy.

“Medroxyprogesterone is a good idea if you can’t remember to take the pill
every day.” She gives me a stern look

And then she gets… okay, she gets a little creepy again, but she’s still mostly just not taking Ana’s shit, which, again, is pretty great.

“Ana!” Dr. Greene snaps. “Let’s do this thing.”

Ana and Christian then shower together, and it’s thankfully not sexy! Because it’s sad! Ana’s washing the lipstick off his body where they marked the do not touch zones where Christian had traumatic, physically scarring, early childhood experiences, and he’s increasingly uncomfortable as the scene goes on. And then they started talking about their feelings again and I kind of skimmed it but the chapter ends with Christian admitting that he loves her! Isn’t that nice?

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