Oh boy! More Fifty Shades already? Normally, I have to wait a week to tell you guys what happened and struggle to recall what thrilling conclusion the previous chapter came to. Not this time! Wait…how did things end? Oh, right, Christian tells Ana he doesn’t know if he could handle her tying him up and touching him. Man, you just never know what’s going to happen next with this series!
Ana describes how awesome it is to wake up to Christian Grey in the morning, and the scene ends really abruptly with him playfully grabbing her on the bed.
I squeal, and he crawls up my body, trailing little kisses on my knee, my thigh . . . my . . . oh . . . Christian!
“Good morning, Mrs. Grey,” Mrs. Jones greets me. I flush, embarrassed remembering her tryst with Taylor the night before.
I really thought for a second–even though it was a different scene–that Mrs. Jones just came into their room while they were doing that, and I was so confused.
Anyway, over breakfast they talk about the usual nothing. Christian wants Ana to go to NY with him when he has to go overnight for business, but Ana’s like, “I have work too!” Then she gets all worried about how he’s getting there, because of the whole Jack Hyde fucking with Charlie Tango thing.
Christian: It’s cool, we fired like five people over that, so it won’t happen again because other people can’t possibly also make the same mistakes!
Ana: Oh, that reminds me, you have a gun!
Yup. Legit that reminds her Christian owns a gun. How? Unclear.
Turns out Christian knows nothing about guns and Ana knows way more. Feminism?
Following this riveting breakfast conversation, we learn an invaluable piece of information about Christian. Can you guess what it is?
You guys! He brushes his teeth BEFORE breakfast, and Ana is like, “Lol what I don’t get it, bye I’m gonna go brush mine now AFTER breakfast.”
-Ana wants Christian to learn to use a gun, but Christian hates guns!
-Using the power of body language, Ana interprets a shake of the head from Taylor as his silent agreement with Ana over the gun issue.
-Leila is now going to art skewl. Christian might be paying for her art lessons. Ana is jealous.
Ana and Christian exchange flirty e-mails while Ana’s at work, and then we have another abrupt scene change to Ana being sad because Christian went on that business trip. Ana is going to get drinks with Kate, because she’s clearly that friend that only makes time for people when her boyfriend/husband isn’t around. Christian, of course, somehow finds a reason to be pissed about this.
“I thought Kate was coming to the apartment.”
“She is after a quick drink.” Please let me go out!
Christian sighs heavily. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he says quietly. Too quietly.
Please let me go out? Are you kidding me? Too quietly…it sounds like he’s about to fucking murder her or something. I can’t even make a joke here, because this exchange is just too disturbing.
He claims to just be worried because Jack Hyde is still out there, but Ana assures him they’re going to have security around. Still not good enough! I feel like he just doesn’t want Ana to leave the house when he’s not there because lord knows what could happen!
Uh oh…Kate convinces Ana to go out for a drink. But there’s no way Christian will find out about this and like freak out, right? Because he’s never done anything to indicate what a nut job stalker he is before. Wait…
ALSO NO ANA DON’T DRINK YOU’RE PREGNANT ALREADY I THINK!!!
So remember Gia from last chapter who Ana bitched out? Oh ma gerd, apparently she had a fling with Elliot so Kate also hates her! LIKE OH EM GEE!
They continue to only talk about their men. It is boring.
After dinner, Ana tells us this:
I must make more of an effort to see Kate, but the truth is, I love being in my bubble with Christian. Last night we attended a charity dinner together. There were so many men in suits and well-groomed elegant women talking about real estate prices and the failing economy and the plunging stock markets. I mean, it was dull, really dull. So it’s refreshing to let my hair down with someone my own age.
No, there isn’t a sentence missing. That charity ball shit just comes out of nowhere and makes absolutely no sense in the context of why she loves their bubble. Also, Ana’s basically saying she couldn’t give two shits about her friend because of Christian. Yup, there it is.
Oh? Christian is super angry because Ana wasn’t home to answer his calls. I had no idea it would come to this!
Turns out, though, that Hyde broke into their house and messed shit up. Security got him, though. I wonder if Christian is gonna change his tune about Ana going out. But you’ll have to wait until next week to find out!!!!