I Can’t Even Describe How Uncomfortable This Chapter is: Bared To You Chapter Sixteen

So I mentioned last week that Ariel and I were interviewed by our school’s paper about Bad Books, Good Times and the eBook. We weren’t expecting the interview to be on, say, the front page.

Our commencement speaker is gonna be piiiiiiiissed.

I love how this is apparently all news of equal importance. Spring Concert Announced. Commencement Speaker Announced. Seniors Publish Book on Fifty Shades of Grey. I can’t stop laughing.

Chapter Sixteen

Man, it’s been kind of a while since we last read Bared To You. What’s even been happening?

“When you’re not with me, I feel—Don’t run anymore, Eva. I can’t take it.” He pulled me up to stand in front of him, keeping his cock in me until the soles of my heels touched the hardwood floor. “Come home with me now.”
“I can’t leave Cary.”

Right, Eva and Cary were invited to a party at Gideon’s family’s house even though Gideon and Eva broke up, and then Gideon literally dragged her away from the party and started banging her in the library while she told him not to, but she’s good with it. This is actually what happened and it is actually this terrible.

“There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s this place. I don’t—I can’t be here. You want to know what’s in my dreams? It’s this house.”
“Oh.” My stomach knotted with worry and confusion. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

So, naturally, they decide it’s time for round two.

Cautiously, he began to pull out of me. I was shocked to feel how wet I was, how copiously he’d come. The final few inches of his cock slid out in a rush and semen slicked my inner thighs. A moment later, two audacious droplets fell to the hardwood floor between my spread legs.
“Oh, shit.” He groaned. “That’s so damn hot. I’m getting hard again.”

Well, it can’t get grosser than this.

Cupping my sex in his hand, he rubbed the slickness all over me, coating the outer lips and massaging it into the folds.

THAT’S GODDAMN DISGUSTING. There’s no way Eva – or anyone – actually finds this erotic.

Euphoria spread through me like the warmth of fine liquor

Dammit, Eva, start making sense!

“I’m an animal with you,” he murmured. “I want to mark you. I want to possess you so completely there’s no separation between us.”
I gathered the courage he inspired in me and whispered, “Touch me here with your fingers. Mark me there.”
He froze, his chest lifting and falling rapidly. “I don’t”—his voice strengthened—“I don’t do anal play, Eva.”

Dammit, Eva! I said start making sense!

I anticipate four people will get this joke.
I anticipate four people will get this joke.

But no, wait, it actually gets weirder.

With my heart breaking, I confessed, “I don’t either. At least not voluntarily.”
“Then . . . why?” The confusion in his voice moved me deeply.
I hugged him, pressing my cheek to his shoulder and listening to the slightly panicked beat of his heart. “Because I believe your touch can erase Nathan’s.”

So, here’s what’s going on. Eva, a rape victim, just had sex with Gideon, who is aware of this, although she didn’t want to and Gideon kept going anyway until she stopped saying no. After they had sex, they reflected on how much they missed each other, Gideon rubbed some of his semen all over her vagina, and Eva, in response to this, decided that she wanted him to do anal play with her. Not because she likes anal play, but because her rapist did this and she thinks that if Gideon does this then that will cure her.

Sylvia Day’s failure to accurately depict and get into the head of a victim of sexual abuse is so mindbogglingly awful that I’m pretty sure Honey Boo Boo could more realistically depict Gandhi.

So, uh, I photoshopped this for you...
So, uh, I photoshopped this for you.

Making things worse, it gets super graphic at this point. Like “puckering anus” that “flexed in a silent plea for more” graphic. I really cannot convey how horrible reading this book is.

Making things worse (because it is somehow still possible to make this worse), Gideon’s brother walks in on them, and, under the totally infallible logic that he won’t notice they’re banging because Eva’s skirt covers everything up, they keep going.

The door opened. There was a pause, then, “Is everything all right?” […]
“Of course,” Gideon said smoothly, coolly in control. “What do you want?”
To my horror, he resumed the push and withdrawal of his finger. […] The tension in my body from having Christopher in the room only ramped up the erotic sensations.
“Eva?” Christopher asked.
I swallowed hard. “Yes?”
“Are you okay?”

The nightmare finally ends after a few more harrowing details and they go back to the party. They say goodbye to Gideon’s mother and we get some hints at Gideon’s own horrible past.

I couldn’t help but wish I knew the story behind his coldness toward a mother who seemed to love him. Her adoring gaze slid over the face that had shades of her own, drinking in every feature hungrily. How long had it been since the last time she’d seen him in person?
Then I wondered if maybe she’d loved him too much . . .


They get Cary and get ready to leave, but Eva tells Gideon to say goodbye to his sister first.

I nodded. Cary rocked back on his heels and twirled one index finger around another in a sign meaning wrapped around your finger.
Only fair, I thought, since he was wrapped around my heart.

I bet I'm one of very few people who will read an erotic novel and think "Oh, I have the perfect SpongeBob gif for this part."
I bet I’m one of very few people who will read an erotic novel and think “Oh, I have the perfect SpongeBob gif for this part.”

They go home and the reader learns that Gideon is a terrifying stalker who has a wall covered with photos of Eva. Eva only learns the latter part.

The focal point was the image in the center that had been taken while I slept in my own bed, lit only by the candle I’d left burning for him. It was an intimate voyeuristic shot, one that said more about the photographer than it did the subject.
I was deeply touched by the proof that he’d been falling along with me.

The chapter ends with Sylvia Day teasing that she’s actually going to start ripping off Fifty Shades of Grey now.

“You’re thinking of bondage and pain. I’m talking about a consensual power exchange.” Gideon studied me intently. […]
“It sounds like you’re telling me you’re a Dominant.”
“Angel, you knew that already.” His mouth curved in a soft, sexy smile. “What I’m telling you is that you’re submissive.”

Yay. I can’t wait.

But Is It Better Than Fifty Shades of Grey?

I’m seriously concerned by how often Fifty Shades is winning this.

The Winner This Round: Fifty Shades of Grey



  1. Bellomy Reply

    Oh hey, a picture of Eva sleeping. Like Twilight, but if Edward remembered to bring a camera!
    I think my final post on Ariel’s page sums up my feelings about this book pretty well.

  2. Judy Reply

    David Byrne/Talking Heads/ Stop Making Sense…..yes I am one of the 4. hahaha

  3. Molly Reply

    Hey, you didn’t finish with “But Is It Better Than Fifty Shades of Grey”! May I suggest a comparative analysis of which book has the most trouble distinguishing parental love from love that you would feel for a sexual partner? Fifty Shades of “my wife is precious to me like a child” Grey or Bared To “maybe his mother loved him too much” You?

    These books are so disturbing.

    • matthewjulius Post authorReply

      Aw man, I knew I was going to forget to do this at some point. I’ll go fix it. Thanks for pointing this out!
      To its credit, Bared at least recognizes when it’s presenting that trouble and it’s supposed to be part of the plot. E L James just kind of doesn’t have any idea what’s going on.

  4. shivani Reply

    hey guys… Awesome blog… Love it.. Haven’t stopped reading..
    Just wanted to tell that u made a typo..
    It’s Gideon’s brother nt Christian’s-
    things worse (because it is somehow still possible to make this worse), Christian’s brother walks in on them, and

    • matthewjulius Post authorReply

      haha, oh man, these books are too similar. Thanks for pointing that out! I’ll fix it. Glad you’re enjoying the blog!

  5. scummy48 Reply

    Remember those days when authors weren’t trying to convince their audience that a man stalking you is sexy and proof of their love?

    I feel like these books could actually be really good if they were meant to make a point about how irrational and self destructive people and such psychological things that make people confuse abuse for love. But instead we’ve got EL James and Day trying to convince us that these are good characters and readers desiring relationships like this.

    And I actually gagged at the massaging his cum into her vagina shit. Seriously what is this.

  6. 24karats Reply

    I may never eat peas again.

    Beyond the heartbreaking lack of logic involved in her request, why does she suddenly need to be cured of her fear of anal sex? I mean,she’s been cured of her fear of vaginal sex, without any hoopla. Maybe because Gideon is the closest thing to a rapist she’s met since her stepbrother? I don’t understand what about this moment or this scene suddenly makes her say “yeah I really need to get over my fear of anal?”

    And the same can be said for Gideon. This is obviously traumatic for him, but he just kind of goes along with it because….what?

    I think fifty shades wins this one, because the lipstick scene made a lot more sense, and he gradually worked his way up to being touched.

  7. Pingback: Who The Hell Is Megumi?: Reflected In You Chapter 2 - Bad Books, Good Times

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