We open with Dr. Green being really sassy with Ana. I don’t blame her, though because Ana’s acting like it’s the fault of the contraception and not her own fault for losing track of time. Ana gets a transvaginal ultrasound, and because of this we’re now stuck with the most irritating nickname for Ana and Christian’s unborn child.
The nickname is little blip…because he’s a little blip on the screen. The amount this gets repeated until the end of the book actually rivals how many times Ana has called Christian “my Fifty” throughout the whole series. Here are three examples (and mind you, this is just from one page).
It’s a little blip. There’s a tiny little blip in my belly. Tiny. Wow.
I am too stunned to say anything. The little blip is a baby.
I have a blip, a little blip.
I totally get that she’s shocked and overwhelmed, but this is no different than how Ana normally thinks, so I think I’m allowed to find it more annoying than ever. Seriously, I’ll spare you the pain, but I want you to know how much I will be cringing every time I have to read, “Oh no, little Blip!”
I’m in shock. Overwhelmed. Surely I should be happy. Surely I should be thirty . . . at least.
No, Ana, you should just be at a point where you feel comfortable. And also not married to an emotionally abusive dick who obviously is going to handle this news poorly.
Perhaps I shouldn’t tell Christian. Perhaps I . . . perhaps I should end this. I halt my thoughts on that dark
path, alarmed at the direction they’re taking. Instinctively my hand sweeps down to rest protectively over my belly. No. My little Blip.
This book will talk about sharing toothbrushes, shaving each other’s pubes, anal sex, pulling tampons out of vaginas and yet it can’t talk about abortion? It can’t even mention the word? Jesus fuck. I’m not saying Ana should have one, I’m just saying why is that treated like the dirtiest thing in this book?
Christian sends Ana sweet e-mails, but she’s too worried to respond. Christian knows something is up, and after work in the car he keeps asking Ana what’s wrong, and inside she tells us she knows he’s going to go bat shit when she tells the truth. I don’t even have the energy to pretend to be surprised that their relationship is so unhealthy and Ana doesn’t acknowledge how messed up that is.
Seriously, look how terrible it is! While visiting her father in the hospital, this happens:
“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” I kiss him. My subconscious purses her lips. That’s provided Christian hasn’t locked you away . . . or worse.
Why would you ever want to be with someone, let alone be married to them, if you can’t expect them to have your back. Or at least not lock you away…or worse if something bad happens. Yeah, Ana’s assistant moved around some appointments and Ana didn’t bother to check her fucking calendar but shit happens. Christian should understand given all the insane crap that happens to them on a daily basis.
At dinner, Ana tells Christian the news, and of course he reacts like such a terrible shit head. I hate Ana and love to mock her, but this scene enrages me so much I can’t even be funny! Look at this shit!
“Christ, Ana!” He bangs his fist on the table, making me jump, and stands so abruptly he almost knocks the dining chair over. “You have one thing, one thing to remember. Shit! I don’t fucking believe it. How could you be so stupid?”
“I know the timing’s not very good.”
“Not very good!” he shouts. “We’ve known each other five fucking minutes. I wanted to show you the fucking world and now . . . Fuck. Diapers and vomit and shit!”
I mean, at least he’s finally acknowledging what we’ve been saying all along about how they don’t know each other. But this seems like kind of an idiotic time to make a big deal out of it. Maybe that should have been considered before they got married. Also, who here thinks Christian will actually have anything to do with diapers and vomit and shit? Poor Mrs. Jones will probably have that honor.
At this point, I thought Ana was going to take a stand and point out that he needs to grow the fuck up about this.
Instead, Christian accuses Ana of doing this on purpose, freaks out about being a father and then storms out of the house. Of course, Ana starts to sympathize rather than stick up for herself or recognize his bad behaviour and instead excuses it because poor Fifty is just scared.
After Christian leaves, Mrs. Jones comes in and tells Ana she heard what happened and asks if she can get her anything.
“I’d like a glass of white wine.”
Mrs. Jones pauses for a fraction of a second, and I remember Blip. Now I can’t drink alcohol. Can I?
To be fair, I’m pretty sure a glass of wine here or there might be okay when you’re pregnant, but the general rule of thumb is just not to drink. How is this something that’s managed to escape Ana?
Later that night, Christian comes home wasted. He’s more playful than he was before, but he’s still really annoying. He whines about how Ana won’t want to have sex with him anymore and that she’ll choose the baby over him. Fucking cry me a river, Grey.
Ana “accidentally” unlocks Christian’s Blackberry when it falls out of his pocket. My boyfriend has a Blackberry (fuck if I know why) and you can’t accidentally unlock it. You have to deliberately click buttons and shit. Christian Grey is a super high powered guy who is paranoid (and rightfully so given people like Jack Hyde are out there trying to kill him). So you’re telling me that Ana, who didn’t have e-mail two books ago, could unlock his phone so easily? I don’t buy it. Whatever, the whole point is that she sees a text from Elena/Evil Cougar/Mrs. Robinson which reveals Christian was out drinking with her and talked about Ana being pregnant to her. What a fucking dick move. He ditches Ana to go have a heart to heart with someone else when he hasn’t even talked about the situation with her? Not only that but someone who Ana despises? DICK! And that’s how this chapter ends!