I was going to title this post “Eva Gets Fingered At A Concert”, but decided that was a little too raunchy to put as a title. Then went ahead and put the word “blow job” in there.
Chapter 9
The chapter begins with Eva, who told us how she doesn’t care about money a billion times, describing her friend’s attractiveness in terms of monetary value:
“Hey, you,” I greeted him, admiring how he managed to make worn jeans and a V-neck T-shirt look expensive.
Eva has lunch with Cary, where she says she’s going to a concert with Gideon. This prompts a conversation about Eva’s rock star ex-fuckbuddy, because why not.
“Brett was hot. Ever think about him?”
“With shame.” […]
“He was a decent guy,” Cary said, before slurping up a hefty swallow of margarita-flavored slush.
“I’m not saying he wasn’t. He just wasn’t good for me.”
Here is Eva describing this same “decent guy” previously in chapter five:
[Eva’s dad] especially had trouble with a lead singer for whom I’d been little more than a groupie and a tattoo artist whom my dad had pulled over to find him getting a blowjob while driving – and not from me.
Sounds like a nice dude.
Eva and minor character Shawna are picked up by Gideon, who takes them to dinner. En route, the novel’s most important plot development occurs:
Turning my head, I leaned my cheek against his. “My period’s over.”
Just so we can put this into perspective, we’re on page 147. Eva first got her period on page 52, during chapter three. Eva’s period has been a goddamn plot point in this novel for six chapters.
They arrive at a fancy restaurant and meet up with the owner, who is Gideon’s friend, Arnoldo, that he invited to the concert with them. Arnoldo and Gideon greet each other with “the backslapping ritual of close male friends”, and then Arnoldo greets Eva with a kiss on the mouth, because of course Gideon’s friends are as douchey as he is. After dinner, they go to the concert, where Eva and Gideon grind with each other during the opening act and everybody around them “whistled and catcalled things that ranged from ‘Get a room’ to ‘Fuck her, man!'”, because apparently the opening band just sucked.
The crowd continues to be like every other character in this book – 100% fixated on sex – because the headliner, the Six-Ninths, begin to take the stage and people around them hold up signs like “BANG ME, BRETT!”. Wait a second… Brett? Isn’t that…
I turned to face the stage, feeling a mad fluttering in my belly. Sure enough, it was Brett Kline at the mic, his deep, powerful, sexy-as-hell voice pouring over the thousands who’d come to see in action.
God, it’s like that scene from When Harry Met Sally where Harry says, “In a city of 8,000,000 you are bound to run into your ex-wife sometime.” Except instead of an ex-wife, it’s an ex-fuckbuddy rock star from the other side of the country, because that’s just how Reflected In You rolls.
Anyway, this is about the point where Gideon starts fingering Eva in the middle of a concert. Also, apparently Eva’s vagina is voice-activated.
He gripped my bare though and squeezed. “Open.”
But it gets BETTER. It gets to the part of the concert where the cock rock band does its serious song, which you can tell from the lead singer removing his shirt and sitting on a bar stool not like a douche. And, of course, the song is about Eva. But here’s where it gets good: Sylvia Day wrote lyrics. All of them. I cannot fucking wait to see Sylvia Day try to write a song.
Golden girl, there you are.
I’m singing for the crowd, the music’s loud.
I’m living my dream, riding the high,
But I see you there, sunlight in your hair,
And I’m ready to go, desperate to fly.
Oh, my god, it’s like on Parks and Rec, where the dumb musician character includes the lyric “Spread your wings and learn to fly,” in every song he writes, except that was a joke and this is for serious.
In the second verse, it continues to sound like the most generic rock song ever written, except by someone who is very obviously not used to writing in meter. Or things that rhyme.
Golden girl, there you are.
Dancing for the crowd, the music’s loud.
I want you so bad. I can’t look away.
Later, you’ll drop to your knees. You’ll beg me please.
And then you’ll go, it’s only your body I know.
“Later, you’ll drop to your knees”? It’s a song, Sylvia Day! We don’t need exposition that doesn’t fit in the meter! How the hell is this non-rhyming, non-rhythmic song supposed to be sung?
You know what? LET’S FIND OUT.
The things I do for you guys.
Golden girl, where’d you go?
Getting fingered during your song about her lol
[Gideon’s] palm pressed into my clit and massaged, and I climaxed in a rush that took me by storm. Tears came to my eyes. I cried out, shaking in his arms. Gripping the railing in front of me, I held on and let the unstoppable pleasure pulse through me.
No, really, nobody noticed this?
It shouldn’t matter that Brett wrote a song about me that painted a different light on our fuck-buddy history. I was in love with somebody else.
Just so we’re clear, his deep emotional song about the girl who got away was primarily about him getting a blow job.
Gideon gets everyone backstage passes, and Eva doesn’t want to stop her friends from meeting a band they really like, which is pretty selfless of her, albeit really dumb. Thankfully, she changes her mind and decides to wait in the limo, but Gideon (surprise!) is being a dick about letting her out of his sight.
He gave me a very patient look. “Eva, I’m not leaving you alone.” […]
I threw up my hands. “Okay. Fine. Have it your way.”
“You’re learning, angel,” he said with a smile.
Eva sneaks off and because this book just despises women, IT IS TOO DANGEROUS FOR WOMEN OUT THERE, GIDEON WAS RIGHT.
A burst of flame in the darkness to my right startled me. I jolted to a half and watched Brett Kline lift a match to the clove cigarette hanging from his lips. […] He glanced up, caught me in his gaze, and froze. […]
“I can’t…” I swallowed. “There’s nothing to say.”
“Bullshit.” The intensity of his glare burned through me. “You stopped coming around. Didn’t say a word, just stopped showing up. Why?”
Apparently I needed to write this twice in this post: the deep love song about the girl who got away had an entire verse about getting a blow job.
“You owe me an explanation,” he bit out.
“It’s not-”
He kissed me.
Well, dude, she can’t talk if you’re kissing her. You’re dumb!
By the time I registered what was happening, he’d tightened his grip on my arms and I couldn’t move away. Couldn’t push him away.
And for a brief span of time I didn’t want to.
I even kissed him back, because the attraction was still there […]
But in the end, it didn’t matter that he got to me still […] because I was madly in love with Gideon Cross
I love this. Eva spends like five pages talking about how, yeah, she’s still attracted to Brett, but it doesn’t matter because she’s in love with Gideon. Both before, during, and after she returns Brett’s kiss. And yeah, it’s totally going to matter when your boyfriend that you love so much sees you cheating on him regardless of how much you love him or not.
The chapter ends with Gideon showing up, charging, and tackling Brett. So on the plus side, this might mean they’ll be too busy fighting to have sex even though Eva’s off her period, so I can go another chapter without having to read a sex scene! Huzzah! Except… this is Reflected In You, and Eva and Gideon solve all their problems with sex, so…
Shit.
Dude, you brought tears… of laughter to my eyes with that song 😛 The tune just sounds like Jason Mraz’s ‘I’m Yours’ sped up on a ukulele XD
Man, I could feel the douche radiating so badly from Sylvia’s ‘lyrics.’ I’ve been writing songs since I was 11, and even I had a better grasp of rhythm! I much prefer your version than the awful pseudo-sincere Six Ninths version (Why do I keep picturing them as some ridiculous Poison tribute band? Because Brett just has me thinking of Bret Michaels? XD)
those were pretty much my thoughts! I read the lyrics and I was like “posion… buckcherry… nickelback…”
I felt like such a douche singing Day’s lyrics. They just radiate awful cock rock “sensitive” douchbaggery.
Their behavior in public is So. Fucking. Creepy.
Holy shit, you guys are not fucking animals. You’re in public, stop making your girlfriend climax, you wacko.
And also, Eva is kind of a bit of a bitch.
Also, yeah, the song was fucking hysterical.
I do what I can.
i’d love to see anyone use eva’s excuse for cheating with their partner. “yes i made out with a guy i’m still attracted to, but it doesn’t matter because i’m in LOVE with YOU”. she’s as fucking obnoxious as gideon, maybe they are meant to be so no one else has to deal with them ever…
also that song. thank you. it wouldn’t have been complete without hearing it as sylvia day intended it to be heard.
it’s unbelievably obnoxious. it’s page after page of eva talking about how attractive brett is and rationalizing it with “but gideon is way better!”, even WHILE she is making out with brett. it never changes and it’s terrible, like everything else in this book. and like sylvia day’s lyrics =D
I think that was exactly how Day envisioned the song. Ukulele and all!
if only I could have grown a soul patch for that video, then it would have been perfect
Matthew, I am holding up a lighter for you! (Wait, does anyone smoke anymore? I guess I’m holding up a lighter app for you?) Side note, now that the period is over, I’m surprised he didn’t just fuck her right there over the railing.
That would just be indecent.
and thank you XD I have never inspired a lighter moment before!
I thought in an earlier chapter Eva really liked 6/9 (shouldn’t that be 1/3?), so..shouldn’t she know who the lead singer is? or at least Cary should’ve (but maybe he didn’t tell her on purpose) and why on earth didn’t Gideon know about him? This is the same guy who re-created her bedroom in his apartment. Creeper fail, Gideon.
Eva actually didn’t know who they were, she was just invited to the concert by Shawna. Cary did know, and there’s a line where Eva realizes Cary didn’t tell her on purpose because he thought it’d be funny, but I didn’t bring it up in my post. And I actually wondered why Gideon didn’t know too! He totally dropped the stalker-ball there.
I think Day is just trying too hard now; 6/9? Really?!
She should be thanking you for making that song something to enjoy rather than cringe at. Maybe you can ask her to not write the last 2 books she has planned?!
Oh my God, how did we miss the 69 joke. We’re so bad at our jobs.
There were definitely some quality 69 jokes missed out on.
Going to have to pick up the slack next chapter 😉
Love your posts! Make me laugh everytime!! But here’s my question? Considering how stupid the plotlines of Day’s books are, why the hell is she so popular?? I don’t get it.
Stupid people are buying the books for no other reason than because they heard they might be kinda hot. I imagine most copies sold are actually read all the way through.
HAHAHAHA JESUS CHRIST I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING. There is a television series planned, which is probably delayed for a few years as the producers scan the streets for homeless people with nothing to lose to play the main characters, now at least it has a soundtrack.
I couldn’t believe that, but after a quick google search… oh dear god…
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this chapter literally made my head ache when i read it for the first time.what is that mad-skilled therapist doing??this just keeps pushing the already well dragged stereotype of a women with bruised ego needs a man-any man in this chapter it seems-to make her feel better.twilight domino continuous
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I am so late to the party but that video is just perfect. Thank you for that!
For what it’s worth, I came across you guys because I wanted to see if anyone else thought the whole killing storyline was messed up and then slipped and fell and accidentally read dozens of posts now..
Welcome to the party 🙂
The song brought tears of joy to my face I love it! And I’m glad crossfire never took off because that TV series would have been HORRIBLE haha
I realise I’m super late to the party, but I’ve only just discovered your blog. There is an actual, honest to God song on Spotify. I’m going to link it below because I can’t do it justice.
https://open.spotify.com/track/1iY1HpK34oJwdsS1ji3M4G?si=sj5gyLRNTm-6kn3xY_AREA