Matthew Watches The Room 13: Lisa Misses Mark, Mark Doesn’t Know Why

We have a short, transitional scene in The Room this week. Lisa calls Mark, who makes this face for the entire scene.

It is a riveting scene.
It is a riveting scene.

The conversation does not get off to a great start, but not for the reason you might expect! Maybe. Do you even expect things anymore at this point in The Room? Is that the right verb?

Lisa: I miss you.
Mark: I just saw you. What are you talking about?

Oh, Tommy Wiseau. Only you can make such extreme, antisocial cold-heartedness so hilarious. Usually the audience is laughing too much at that line to catch the next few lines of Seductive Lisa, but have no fear! They’re as hilarious as you would ever hope for!

Lisa: I just wanted to hear your sexy voice. I keep thinking about your strong hands on my body. It excites me so much. I love you.

Wow, that all escalated quickly! Sexy voice? Strong hands? Love? That’s a lot to take! How does Mark react to all of this?

Mark: Is Johnny there?
Lisa: He’s… in the shower.
Mark: (Sighs) I don’t understand you. Why do you do things like this?
Lisa: Because I love you. You just don’t care, do you?

That may not be the biggest problem Mark has with his illicit affair with his best friend’s back-stabbing fiance, but, you know, if that seems like a logical direction to take this conversation in to you…

Mark: I do care. But… we agreed! It’s over between us.
Lisa: I understand. It’s our secret. But I still have feelings for you! You just don’t care!
Mark: God! I do care!

Okay, is this going to keep going on like this? Because… I have things to do… This sounds like it could take a while.

Lisa: I have to go now.

Oh, good!

Lisa: I’ll see you later, darling.

So… they didn’t agree to meet up again for sexytimes, much less, you know, meet up. Maybe she’s just talking about the next time they all hang out with all their friends? And also calling him darling? Maybe? Let’s see if that’s how Mark interpreted it.

Mark: (monotone) Don’t call me that.

maybe? How does Lisa respond to his unquestionably stern dismissal?

Lisa: (cheerful) Okay, bye!

Well, this is a crapshoot.



  1. E.H.Taylor Reply

    This is surprisingly realistic. I’ve met women and men who I *know* would have a conversation like this. In fact, I’ve witnessed similar conversations involving two people splitting up and the other getting all clingy and refusing to let it go. Then you have the nickname thing which is similar to another overheard conversation (on the bus of all places).

    “Our stop is next, sweetiepie.”
    “I know that. And don’t call me that in public.”
    “But I thought you loved it when I called you that. Are you saying you don’t love *me* anymore?”
    “I won’t if you keep calling me that.”
    “Ah, you’re such a kidder. Love you, sweetiepie.”
    **Guy proceeds to find new seat at the back of the bus**

    It was one of my more interesting bus rides to be sure. It’s amazing what kind of conversations people decide need to take place really loudly in public venues.

  2. Andrew Schultz Reply

    This has been a wonderful series to read–I can get the good bits without the painful ones (e.g. it’s funny to remember Tommy’s handling of the love scenes, but I don’t want to sit through all of them twice.)
    BTW, this isn’t tagged like the other installments, so I missed it on a search through: Greg Sestero, Humor, Juliette Danielle, movie, the room, tommy wiseau. This omission isn’t tearing me apart (although wondering whether to report small stuff like that in something I like always does,) but it’s there.

    • matthewjulius Post authorReply

      Thank you, Andrew! It always makes my day when someone leaves a nice comment like this. It’s nice to know someone actually looks forward to these!

      Thanks for bringing the tags to my attention. We make these mistakes sometimes 🙁

      • Andrew Schultz Reply

        Glad I could help! I tend to be good at finding small mistakes like that, which just sort of happen, so I understand totally. And thanks for not telling me to leave my stupid nitpicks–oh, wait, that’s potentially a spoiler.

        Also looking forward to what you have to say about Divergent. It’s on terrible backlog at the Chicago public library, and there are so many other books I’d rather put a hold on.


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