Eva is Still Incredibly Creepy When it Comes to Describing Her Dad: Entwined with You Chapter 12

Previously, the Fifty Shades movie trailer came out, and our blog “detonated” with activity as though it had turned into Anastasia Steele herself.

Also Eva’s dad found out about Eva’s history of sexual abuse and decided to come visit to talk things out.

Chapter 12

Determined to convince her dad that everything in her life is a-okay, Eva takes him to a Krav Maga class with her to blow off some steam. [Matthew says: As you do.]

I turned to watch, seeing my father wrestling with the instructor who was twice his size, and my dad wasn’t a small guy. Standing over six feet tall and weighing in at two hundred pounds of solid, rippling muscle, Victor Reyes was a formidable opponent.

It is really unsettling how Eva describes her parents like one might have described a character from Baywatch back in the day. Just to warn you, her description of her father only gets weirder later. This is just the prologue to the creepiness that ensues later.

On a less creepy but incredibly stupid note, here’s how Eva describes her Krav Maga instructor to us:

Parker was easygoing and had a great smile, and was genuine in a way that I’d rarely come across. But he had an air about him that warned people to tread carefully. One knew right away that it would be stupid to try to pull anything over on him. His street smarts were as obvious as his tribal tattoos.

You can’t tell someone has street smarts just by looking at them, obvious tribal tattoos or not. That would be like saying you could just tell someone was an amazing artist just by looking at their paint-covered overalls. I mean she had an air about her like she could really paint a mean portrait. [Matthew says: Ironically, the tribal tattoos would probably make it more obvious to me that he’s probably quite a douche.]

After Krav Maga, Eva and her dad have a heart to heart in the car, and it’s actually very sweet and sad. Until the last line of the scene that is.

Leaning across the console, he hugged me. We sat in the car for a long time, crying. Getting it out.

Was Gideon watching the security feeds, sending me silent support? It gave me comfort to think he might be.

"dean afraid"

Comfort or a chill down your spine? It’s hard to choose. [Matthew says: I just realized this book (and the others like it) remind me a lot of my favorite Cyanide and Happiness cartoon, except the books take the concept seriously.]

Knowing Gideon, he is not only watching this scene, but actually hiding in the car too.

Later that night, Eva heads out to dinner with Cary and her father. The conversation quickly shifts from Cary’s confusing and stupid love life (seriously, every time they talk about this Tatiana woman he’s seeing she sounds completely horrendous), to Eva’s father’s lack of a love life. [Matthew says: Wait wait wait. Cary is even doing stuff in this book?]

That was by his choice. I’d seen how women acted around him—they fell all over themselves trying to get his attention. My dad was hot, with an amazing body, gorgeous face, and Latin sensuality.

I can’t read this paragraph without wanting to barf. Which is more cringe, describing her father as though she wants to sleep with him or using the term “Latin sensuality”? I’m so serious about wanting to know your thoughts, I’m creating a mother fucking poll right here, right now.

Boring things with minor characters happen. Eva sees Corinne talking to Gideon, and Corinne tries to kiss Gideon. But Eva is totes secure in their relationship now, so this won’t deter her from banging Gideon in the next few pages. Thank god. [Matthew says: That was the one thing I was genuinely worried would stop happening in this novel!]

Basically, Eva is in the elevator, and it stops on the 10th floor but no one gets out.  The innocent elevator bystanders are unable to get the elevator moving again until Eva realizes that Gideon is behind this and that she’s supposed to get off. [Matthew says: And how 😉 ] God, they’re such assholes!

He was dressed as he’d been that very first day I’d met him. At the time, I’d wanted to climb up his scrumptious body and screw him senseless.

All these weeks later, that hadn’t changed.

Weeks. Not even months. Weeks. I should hope you still want to have sex with your boyfriend after weeks of dating him. This isn’t something to be in awe about, it’s like saying that you’re amazed and thrilled that your new fridge still works a week after purchasing it.

This gif perfectly captures the progression of Eva and Gideon's relationship.
This gif perfectly captures the progression of Eva and Gideon’s relationship.

Sex is had, [Matthew says: THERE’S a motherfucking pull quote!] and things are going okay aside from the usual:

“Gideon pulled my hips to the very edge of the sofa with my legs on either side of him, exposing my cleft to his gaze. “So tell me what’s got this pretty cunt so greedy today.”

I get that if there weren’t lines like this, I wouldn’t be writing about this book, but why does every sex scene have to contain something about Eva’s greedy cunt? It is some of the nastiest imagery I’ve ever read, and I can’t believe that no editor felt the same. Is Day just like convinced that this description is integral to the plot or Gideon’s characterisation  at this point? [Matthew says: This is in my personal top three least-believable things about Crossfire, so you know what? Now it’s my turn to create a motherfucking poll right here right now:]

The chapter ends with a perplexing moment that I don’t understand:

Gideon cupped my face in his hands and kissed me, our flavors mingling. “Thank you.”

“What are you thanking me for? You did all the work.”

“There’s no work involved in fucking you, angel.” His slow smile was pure satiated male. “I’m grateful for the privilege.”

I sank back onto my heels. “You’re killing me. You can’t be that gorgeous and sexy and say stuff like that. It’s overload. It fries my brain. Sends me into a meltdown.”

Is that…supposed to be super romantic? I would understand if Eva’s reaction were to chuckle at Gideon’s silly comment, but to be moved by it seems a bit extreme. Maybe I’m missing something and most women dream of the day when they find a man who says, “Fucking you is just so easy!”

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  1. Taylor Reply

    That last Eva quote reminded me of Mal Reynolds saying “You fog things up. You spin me about” to Inara and now I’m horrified that there is a connection between Crossfire and Firefly in my brain. (Crossfirefly?)

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  2. Kristin Reply

    Thanks for the reminder for how ridiculously short these two have known each other.

    Also, while we are discussing cringe worthy descriptions, can I also throw in how much Angel & Ace make me shudder? (and not in a good “panty detonating” way)

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    • 22aer22 Reply

      I genuinely wish I knew who knew each other longer Ana and Christian or Gideon and Eva?

      Me too 🙁 Every time one of them utters one of those nicknames I want to quote it and whine, but it happens too often for that.

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      • Kristin Reply

        I think Ana & Christian took longer to sleep together simply because of finals, college graduation etc. I’m pretty sure Gideon & Eva were together in less than a week’s time.

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  3. Beatriz Reply

    WEEKS?? Ffs how can someone believe this whole thing was even slightly realistic??

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    • 22aer22 Reply

      I’m not sure, but I would love to interview one of the people that does find this realistic.

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  4. janelovering Reply

    No, I’m sorry, any man using the phrase ‘pretty cunt’ to me had better be talking to my face. Because otherwise he’s going to get a severe walking-away-at.

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  6. E.H.Taylor Reply

    It has been months since I’ve read your posts on this book and I can still follow along…

    I think having a horribly fast and unbelievable timeline is a prerequisite of all bad books. I blame Twilight for people thinking that having someone stalk you and watch your every move is attractive.

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    • 22aer22 Reply

      You’re back!!!! Matt and I have both missed you 🙂

      Yeah, you could probably skip an entire book and be able to follow along. You might have trouble knowing who certain minor characters are, but even if you don’t skip a book that’s usually an issue for everyone. I just started reading Captivated by You and it’s still chugging terribly along…except now we also get Gideon’s POV every other chapter, so it’s double the misogyny! Actually, probably more like triple…

      Fuck Twilight.

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      • E.H.Taylor Reply

        They actually allowed a book with Gideon’s POV to be published? I shouldn’t be surprised, but I had hoped that someone along the way would read it and think, ‘this is a really bad idea’. I imagine you’ll at least have lots to write about…?

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