Weird Searches, Good Times Part III: Mockingjay

Even though search engines (I AM LOOKING AT YOU GOOGLE, WITH YOUR NEW WEIRD LOGO) have made it really hard to collect data on what search terms bring people to your website, you still have access to some of that data. Thank fuck we do because some of the searches that lead folks to BBGT are amazing. Here are some of the ones that have brought me much joy lately:

Weird Searches Ahoy!

  1. how to do ombre nails” You made a wrong turn somewhere on the internet. We are not teenage YouTube sensations.
  2. Zoey and Loren porn”  I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed.
    I'm not angry, I'm disappointed. How I Met Your Mother gif.
  3. best sex scene ever” We don’t have access to that kind of information here.
  4. clips of hard dick moving without hands”
    whatdidyousay
  5. “hyde dating megumi fanfic” I don’t meant to read too much into this, but is there someone out there looking for a really specific Fifty Shades/Crossfire crossover fanfic which pairs Jack Hyde with Megumi? Who out there was like, “Now those two would make a great couple”?
  6. jared grey cock size” Who is this person and why do you think we know anything about his penis?
  7. why ana called her baby blip” because she is a moron.
  8. the host fanfic condoms” always practice safe fanfic reading.
  9. youre all horrible”
    makes sense gif
  10. romantic shy virgin honeymoon story written in chapters of american” This is the most patriotic thing I have ever read.
  11. what is gideon cross’s personality type” ASSHOLE.
  12. good time book” No. Go somewhere else.
  13. insurgent movie doesn’t make sense” I love you.
  14. what really happens in the bathroom in the fifty shades of grey book
    wink gif
  15. us bank address for chapter 13 notice” Oh that sounds like an important one. I hope they actually found the bank address. And also enjoyed the blog.

    And one last one for the road:

  16. the mention of orange juice in the fifty shades books” We definitely know about the orange juice mention!

Check out some of the other weird searches from previous posts. If you guys enjoy these, I’ll try to start posting more frequently as there are always so many gems.

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8 comments

  1. ralucahippie Reply

    Why Ana calls her baby Blip – I don’t know, to me it always sounded like she was calling the little guy something much cruder and they had to blip it out. (Also with a dose of :Is she really going to name the baby *that * after she gives birth? Like, seriously, what the blip?)

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    • 22aer22 Reply

      That’s definitely my new canon. I like to think Ana was saying something much worse because ‘little blip’ was just so irritating to read over and over and over.

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  2. cantstopwontstopbooks Reply

    Number 4. Hahahaha, oh man. My crowning jewel search term that popped up a month or two ago was “is sam heughan gay”. I honestly have no idea how that one got them to my blog, but.. Welcome? Lol.

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    • 22aer22 Reply

      Hahaha it really makes you question the algorithms the search engines are using. It’s like, you get this right a lot of the time but in this instance I have no idea how you connected my site to this search term, but thanks for the traffic!

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  3. E.H.Taylor Reply

    I’m really tempted to search that first one and see just how many pages they had to look through before finally finding this blog, haha

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    • 22aer22 Reply

      They must have finally gotten to page ~100 and just clicked us in an act of sheer desperation.

      Nerd moment: It also depends on personalised search, so what page it shows up for you might not be the same page as our dear searcher.

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      • E.H.Taylor Reply

        As in what shows up depends on what you’ve looked at/searched for previously? Because that raises some serious questions about that person’s internet history, haha

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        • 22aer22 Reply

          Yep and even location, sites they’ve clicked on previously, if they’ve been to your site before. It’s raising so many questions!

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