We Meet the Highest High Priestess: Untamed Chapter 9

House of Night, Untamed Chapter 9

Zoey does a piss-poor job of recapping the conversation she and Aphrodite just had with Nyx:

“Well, crap. Chaos and love are the same, but not. Neferet still has her powers, but she’s not listening to Nyx anymore. Oh, and she’s trying to wake up something dangerous. What does that mean? Is it an abstract wake up, like ‘waking up’ danger in the form of a war with humans, or is she literally trying to wake up some horrible, scary thingie that could eat us all? Like that creepy thing that scratched me earlier, which I didn’t even get a chance to ask her about. Crap again!” I babbled as Aphrodite and I hurried from the girls’ dorm.

I’m fairly certain “waking up” wouldn’t be abstractly used that way. Waking up danger isn’t a thing. “Waking up danger in the form of a war with humans” especially isn’t a thing.

the office jim no

I feel like I need to get “Chaos and love are the same, but not” on a shirt, so I can walk around in it and hopefully a kind stranger will stop me and explain what the fuck it means to me.

“Don’t look at me. I have enough mysteries of my own to solve. I’m human, but I’m not? What does that mean? And how can my humanity be so big and bad anyway—I don’t even like humans?”

I’m pretty sure most humans don’t like other humans very much either, so you’ll fit right back in with us normal folk, Aphrodite.

Aphrodite is more concerned about how her hair looks, though, and Zoey is displeased with this. She’s disappointed that their goddess has just spoken to them, but Aphrodite is concerned with shallow things. Yet, Zoey basically texts with Nyx via the elements almost constantly, and most of the time she’s worried about which boy she wants to make out with more and how cool her new tattoos are.

“Yeah, that was amazing. Nyx is amazing. I never said she wasn’t. So what’s your point?”

“My point is that after experiencing a visit from the Goddess, you should, I dunno, maybe care about something more important than your already perfect hair,” I said, completely exasperated. This was the kid I was supposed to battle world-shaking dangerous evil with? Jeesh, Nyx’s ways were absolutely, totally mysterious. Talk about an understatement.

I can’t even be outraged by Zoey’s lack of self-awareness and outrageous hypocrisy because I find it too amusing. I hope in the next chapter Aphrodite strikes up an affair with the new professor who is also the this year’s Vampire Pulitzer Prize winner and Zoey is like, “I can’t even believe you, Aphrodite. Who does that?”

Zoey and Aphrodite arrive at the council meeting, and Damien has saved them seats. Darius, a Son of Erebus, and Aphrodite make eyes at each other, so my dreams for next chapter aren’t looking very likely.

In addition to other Sons of Erebus, the school’s professors and the twins are in attendance. All the most important folks! I’m so happy Jack wasn’t somehow considered essential to this meeting.

Neferet walks in, and Zoey notices she seems stressed out. Another vampire walks in with Neferet, and everyone in the room leaps to up to show respect including Zoey even though she doesn’t recognize the vampire. Because Zoey knows what the people want, she gives us a ridiculous, never-ending description of this vampire:

Okay, I will admit that I peeked up from the head bow to get a look at the new vamp. She was tall and thin. Her skin was the color of rich, well-polished dark wood, and like mahogany, it was smooth and flawless, marred only by the intricate tattoo of her sapphire Mark, which was, incredibly, in the shape of the curving outline of the goddess figure all the vamp professors wore embroidered on their breast pockets. The female figures were mirrors of one another, their bodies stretched down her high cheekbones and along the side of her face. The inside arms were lifted, hands raised as if to cup the crescent in the middle of her forehead.

That tattoo sounds weird as hell. Ah, well, at least the description is do –

Her hair was impossibly long. It fell well past her waist, in a heavy length of shining black silk. She had large dark eyes that were shaped like almonds, a long, straight nose, and full lips. She held herself like a queen, with her chin up and her gaze steady as it swept over the room.

Okay, cool, but surely that has to be the end of what we need to know about this rando’s appearance.

It was only when that gaze stopped briefly on me and I felt its strength that I realized she was something I’d never seen in a vamp before then—she was old. Not that she was all wrinkled, like an old human would be. This vampyre looked like she might be in her forties, which translated to ancient for a vamp. But it wasn’t wrinkles and saggy skin that made her look old. It was a sense of age and dignity that she wore like a fine piece of expensive jewelry decorating her body.

“A sense of age”? I feel like what Zoey is trying to tell me is that this vampire wears her age…like an age.

what2

But wait. Zoey’s not done painting you the finest of pictures yes:

“Merry meet.” She had an accent that I couldn’t place. It sounded Middle Eastern, but not. British, but not. Basically, it made her voice as rich as her skin. It filled the room.

She wears her age in a fine, age-y way. As though she were an exquisite and mouldy cheese. Her accent is an accent, but not any of the accents I’m naming. Given this flattering depiction, I’m sure you can guess that this is the highest of priestesses.

Somehow, despite the fact that Zoey is always talking about her fucking Vampyre Sociology class, Zoey has no idea that, “SHEKINAH = HIGH PRIESTESS OFALL VAMPS” as Damien puts it on his quick note to Zoey.

You’d think as the most special vampire fledgling of all time, Zoey would know this very important fact. It’s like if someone was running for governor, and their campaign manager had to be like, “OBAMA = PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES”.

Neferet is clearly miserable that Shekinah is there, and it becomes clear that Shekinah is super against a war between vampyres and humans. So I guess the plot is resolved and we can all go home…?

Shekinah recommends Neferet call the police. Neferet is like, “HUMAN POLICE?!?! DA FUQ!”

But Zoey. Heroic Zoey speaks up:

In the ugly silence, I thought about Detective Marx, the cop who had helped me when Heath had been taken by the creepy undead dead kids. He’d been incredible.

[…]

“Zoey Redbird, what do you know about this?” Shekinah’s question was a shock.

Like she’d pulled a weird string inside me that made me talk, I blurted, “I know an honest human cop.”

Zoey knowing an honest human cop sounds like it’s about to prevent a war. Only in House of Night. 

Neferet continues to insist that police can’t police their own. I dare you to watch an episode of Law and Order: SVU, Neferet. Then you try to tell me we don’t police our own.

Shekinah and Neferet argue back and fourth, and Neferet tries to get the Sons of Erebus on her side, which does not go over well. The chapter ends with Neferet changing tactics. She gets emotional and leaves the council room. Which is one way to extract yourself from this boring storyline.

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3 comments

  1. Jennifer Layton Reply

    I call BS on Shekinah being the head priestess of all vamps. Her portrait would have been displayed somewhere in the HoN, the way Catholic churches have portraits of the Pope and corporations have ones of their CEOs. These characters don’t exist until the Casts need them. The vampire organizational chart must take up an entire city block. Next week, a new character named ElektraVenus McXanadu will show up, and she’ll be the MegaPriestess Supreme, and of course she will see right away that Zoey is special, and I will go outside to the apartment parking lot and just start kicking random tires and throwing things.

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    • Utsutsu Reply

      On a slightly related note, ElektraVenus McXanadu is going to be my next cat’s name.

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